K.I.T.T. stands for “Knight rider is reTurning unforTunately “

Or possibly “Knight Rider‘s Not Unix.”

Gnu joke… Anybody? Oh well. It actually stands for Knight Industries Two Thousand. Yes, they spelled out 2000 to make their super R.A.D.D. acronym work. Back in the 80’s, the year 2000 was believed to be so distant in the future (nearly 20 years) that it must be part of a fantastical future scape rife with unimaginable wonders like sentient talking cars voiced by middle school principals. So any time something in an 80’s movie or TV show was supposed to be futuristic, or a thing that doesn’t normally talk had to talk they would tack a “deuce triple ought” to the tail end of it.

When I first read that NBC was bringing Knight Rider back to the smallish screen, I could only think of T.K.R.Team Knight Rider (that’s to those of you outside of the T.K.R. Fan-Fic community). Maybe YourTubes has some Team Knight Rider videos you can watch to better understand why even still I quiver in a cold sweat at the mere mention of teams or knights or anything riding anything else. Just look at the cast list. Keep in mind the names on the left are supposed to be the actors’ REAL names:

  • Brixton Karnes as Kyle Stewart
  • Christine Steel as Jenny Andrews
  • Rick Copp as Clayton
  • Michael Lexx, as Scott
  • Steve Forrest as the Shadow

This is either the Team Knight Rider cast or the cast of “Backdoor Glory Hole Creampies IV.”

Oh look, I found a list of understudies:

  • Tad Firetruck as Jim
  • Blast Fuckfurnace as Jim C.
  • Leggz Tittsington as Cheryl
  • Beaf Manmeat as Jim H.
  • Chest Tittsingon (no relation) as Tanya “Tits”Tittsington

NBC RESPECTS ME AS AN INTELLIGENT CONSUMER!

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10 Comments

  1. @Dean

    If you only watched the show recently, I can understand your distaste. Knight Rider just doesn't pass muster by today's standards. But it's not really fair to ask it to – television is constantly evolving, learning from its successes and failures and adapting to its audience. "The Honeymooners" wouldn't draw much of an audience today, but it captivated people at the time. It's the same with Knight Rider; it was a quintessential product of the 80s and when people rave about it it's in that context. You have to appreciate it for what it is – a window back into our collective conscious – and not try to compare it to modern television. It's like that old joke that "everything in Shakespeare is so cliche." Heh, not that I'm suggesting Knight Rider is Shakespeare, but at a time in television when decent sci-fi/action was hard to find it was a beacon of hope. That said, as a former fan even I find it sometimes hard to watch these days.

    As to your second question, William Daniels ("Mr. Feeny") asked not to be credited for his work on the show, so the problem is probably clerical (i.e., he wasn't in the credits so might have been missed for IMDB). I seem to remember KITT having a different voice in at least one episode, but my brief search doesn't bring up anything about that.

    • Necropost! 😀

      They did one episode, "Trust Doesn't Rust" with K.I.T.T.'s evil twin, an earlier prototype named K.A.R.R. ("Knight Industries Roving Robot"), and K.A.R.R. had a different voice; you're probably thinking of that one.

      Yeah, I was a huge fan as a kid. I actually "taped" one episode (this being before VCRs) by holding my cassette recorder up to the TV speaker for the entire episode. I played it back about a million times for my friends and myself, and even typed it out, word for word (with my descriptions etc to turn it into a proper story) on our family's Tandy computer.

      And that episode was "Trust Doesn't Rust," the only one I know the name of, lol.

  2. Your alt text says “Mt. Matthews” instead of “Mr. Matthews.” Now you have to leave it just for the sake of historical accuracy (or lack thereof). 🙂

    Am I the only one who doesn’t like Knight Rider? *Braces face for internet punches.* Don’t get me wrong – the Knight Rider theme song is one of the best ever – but it was a pretty dumb show. *Protects the family jewels.* I actually caught part of an episode the other day… it was no bueno. *Hides under a table.*

    BTW, how is it possible that David Hasselhoff was in 90 episodes but Mr. Feeny was only in 76? (Curse you, IMDB, for your nearly infinite television and film wisdom and for making me think of things that I really don’t care about…)

  3. And now I know why you pulled out Mr. Feenie’s name at lunch so fast today. I was like, damn he remembered that fast…

  4. @Dean and Mike
    I think thats the idea. I LOVED Knightrider and Airwolf and all that jazz when I was 7 because it seemed amazing at the time. I went back and watched a few episodes on Youtube. Holy shit. It was beyond repair. I dont think kids today would even appreciate it because they are inundated with much higher production values for TV movies and games.

    and Dean, might you be William Daniels in disguise? If so I want you to record my outgoing voicemail message.

    @Mikey
    Regardless, I’ve always got Feeny on the brain.

    @Jacob
    I have not heard good thing about that show. Starbuck might be in it, but 100% negative reviews tells me to spend my time elsewhere.

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