Michael, I’ve just made a huge mistake

Gob Bluth is the voice of K.I.T.T.? I don’t know if thats the coolest thing I’ve ever heard or some kind of cruel trick…(sorry) illusion.

If you’ve never met the real Eli and you would like to get to know him better, just watch this.

Machine Girl” is basically a love letter to Eli’s brain written in arm stump blood, with a machine gun, on your face.

Last thing: I was talking to the Internet and I asked him what it would be like if an electric carving knife was sodomizing a watermelon. Then I cried because I knew we would never know. The Internet smiled and said, “I thought you’d know me better by now.” Then he unzipped his pants and raped my eye-holes with this video.

The only thing that would make it better would be someone screaming in German throughout the whole clip. THANKS, INTERNET!!! YOU”VE BLINDED ME WITH YOUR PENIS AGAIN!

comic-2007-10-01-nbc-knightrider-remake.jpg

K.I.T.T. stands for “Knight rider is reTurning unforTunately “

comic-2007-10-01-nbc-knightrider-remake.jpg

Or possibly “Knight Rider‘s Not Unix.”

Gnu joke… Anybody? Oh well. It actually stands for Knight Industries Two Thousand. Yes, they spelled out 2000 to make their super R.A.D.D. acronym work. Back in the 80’s, the year 2000 was believed to be so distant in the future (nearly 20 years) that it must be part of a fantastical future scape rife with unimaginable wonders like sentient talking cars voiced by middle school principals. So any time something in an 80’s movie or TV show was supposed to be futuristic, or a thing that doesn’t normally talk had to talk they would tack a “deuce triple ought” to the tail end of it.

When I first read that NBC was bringing Knight Rider back to the smallish screen, I could only think of T.K.R.Team Knight Rider (that’s to those of you outside of the T.K.R. Fan-Fic community). Maybe YourTubes has some Team Knight Rider videos you can watch to better understand why even still I quiver in a cold sweat at the mere mention of teams or knights or anything riding anything else. Just look at the cast list. Keep in mind the names on the left are supposed to be the actors’ REAL names:

  • Brixton Karnes as Kyle Stewart
  • Christine Steel as Jenny Andrews
  • Rick Copp as Clayton
  • Michael Lexx, as Scott
  • Steve Forrest as the Shadow

This is either the Team Knight Rider cast or the cast of “Backdoor Glory Hole Creampies IV.”

Oh look, I found a list of understudies:

  • Tad Firetruck as Jim
  • Blast Fuckfurnace as Jim C.
  • Leggz Tittsington as Cheryl
  • Beaf Manmeat as Jim H.
  • Chest Tittsingon (no relation) as Tanya “Tits”Tittsington

NBC RESPECTS ME AS AN INTELLIGENT CONSUMER!