It’s Time To Light The Lights

Get your HijiNKS ENSUE Book 2 Preoder on! GO HERE NOW! Over 1/4 of the Ultimate Fancy Editions are already gone!

TEXAS FANCY BASTARDS: Come to Dragon’s Lair Webcomic Rampage in Austin this weekend and hang out with me, David, Danielle, Randy, Jeph, Bill, and  Josh.

Preorder HijiNKS ENSUE Vol 2! Go ahead and make 1000 vagina jokes right now and just get it out of your system. The Beaver? Seriously? They might as well have called it Meet The Vulvas. I watched the trailer, and personally I don’t think running around elbow deep inside the border line of a beaver is the best way to shake his violent, misogynist image. It’s a very mixed metaphor for Mel to be sending. I wonder if Jodie Foster, who’s directing the beaver as well as this movie (ba-dum DUM!) had to explain to Mel that his costar was a puppet and thus couldn’t blow him for the right to share screen time with him. I wonder if that dissuaded him in the least from violating the felt buck teeth right out of that beaver’s head.

Also, the idea that people inside or outside of Hollywood still support Mel Gibson after he came out to the world as a hateful, violent, racist, wife-beating Class-A buttdouche is just appalling. It’s a symptom of the cancer of apathy that is eroding the concience of America. “Well, he didn’t threaten to beat ME in the head with a baseball bat, so gimme two tickets to that Beaver show, one’o those 164 oz. diet sodas, a clawfoot bathtub full’0 butter toppin’ and some popkurns to dip up in it.”

If you want something from the HE Store before Dec 24th, you should read this message from Topatoco:

Follow the heck out of these shipping class deadlines! Keep in mind this only applies to items that are IN STOCK. Reprinting items do not count.

USPS INTERNATIONAL FIRST CLASS and INTERNATIONAL PRIORITY: Deadline has passed. Orders placed using these methods are not guaranteed to arrive before December 24.
INTERNATIONAL EXPRESS, USA STANDARD/FIRST CLASS: December 15
USPS DOMESTIC PRIORITY: December 17
USPS EXPRESS: December 21
UPS GROUND: December 17, but you may be able to push it depending on where you live. Refer to the map to be sure.
UPS 3-DAY, 2-DAY, AND OVERNIGHT will all be shipped on the next day until December 21.

Tags: , , , , , , ,

29 Comments

  1. I… don't understand whey they're Muppets, but find it hilarious anyway.

    Reply
    • OH – cause the movie revolves around a giant beaver puppet. Right.

      I've been avoiding watching the trailer or anything to do with it, really.

      Reply
  2. This is wonderful. just purely wonderful.

    Reply
    • wait, why are we wearing headbands?

      Reply
      • Headsets.

        Reply
      • Henson muppeteers wore custom mic headsets and watched their performances on little TV screens on the ground.

        Reply
  3. I've always felt he was a first class asshat, even though I adore the first two Mad Max movies (we don't talk about the third…Tina Turner…hair…so much hair…)

    Reply
    • "We don't need another heeeerroooooooooo…"

      Nothing says "tough broad/dame" like a woman in a full on chainmail dress.

      Reply
  4. Please don't insult buttdouches that way.

    Reply
    • Buttdouches can be pretty refreshing, especially if you use an infusion of peppermint… so I've heard.

      Reply
      • I can confirm its accuracy. Bet you wish I hadn't.

        Reply
        • Here I was thinking people used vokda for those…or Raintime Fresh Scent…

          Reply
    • maybe with safe search on.

      Reply
      • I had to do a project recently for an adolescent psychology class on teens and sex. I had to do my research behind closed doors, and not click on image search.

        Reply
  5. "Nice beaver!" One of my favorite jokes out of Naked Gun.

    Reply
    • "Oh, this? I just had it stuffed."

      I miss Leslie Nielsen.

      Reply
  6. Oh boy, I am still giggling over this one. You do know, there is a town called Beaver over here in Washington State, right? Check it out on Google Maps … the next town over …. wait for it … Sappho.

    Reply
    • Pssht. That's nothing. Canada's got a town back east called, I shit you not, "Dildo."

      Yeah. You KNOW you wanna live there.

      Reply
      • There is also a town called climax in canada

        Reply
    • Ok, I know the post is old, but this needs to be mentioned here. Uruguay has a town called "Pelotas", which is spanish for "Balls".

      Reply
  7. Haha, I love being able to see Josh and Joel at the bottom, holding the puppets. Genius, sir.

    Honestly, I thought Michael Caine really was doing the voice over. I'm still surprised he isn't. It's like they were trying to get all the positive feeling Michael Caine invokes without having to have him on the payroll.

    Reply
  8. Hey, come on! Lay off Mel Gibson already! It's not like he drugged and raped a thirteen year old girl and then fled the country to avoid prosecution.

    I wonder if Whoopi Goldberg has issued any press releases about how Gibson's violent Jewhate isn't really anti-semitism anti-semitism.

    Reply
    • I feel like you're doing exactly what the media does. Once somebody does something worse, the first guy's off the hook completely?

      Reply
  9. I can see the studio heads snicker to each other as Jodi Foster leaves the boardroom with her contract in hand, ink still drying.

    "Dude… Jodi Foster wants to make a movie called The Beaver"
    "I know, right??!"
    "Did that just happen?"

    Reply
  10. Love Josh and Yourself as Jim Henson/Frank Oz under the stage in panel 2.

    I'm still astonished that an avowed misogynistic, homophobic anti-semite like Gibbo can claim Jodie Foster, Robert Downey Jr and Whoopi Goldberg as friends. I mean, he DOES know about Jodie and Robert's sexuality and Goldberg's religion, right?! He's become the Hollywood equivalent of the crazy old man who yells at kids to get off his lawn…

    Reply
  11. Mel Gibson was cool back in the 80's, but since then he's somehow managed to get the shark to jump -him-! Beaver can leave it. I'll take Mad Max any day and just pretend modern Mel Gibson is as retired as Steve Perry.

    Reply
  12. Lulz i followed a link on AfterElton awhile back and ive never left! i love you guys! i hope i can go see you guys next time you're in Houston! i live in Corpus Christi so its not that that far….

    Reply
  13. I watched The Beaver trailer. The horror. THE HORROR.

    Reply

Leave a Reply