If Man Is 5 And The Nexus 6, Then That Must Make Me 7

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COMMENTERS: What bad behavior, if ceased, would cause your family or coworkers to think you’d been replaced with a replicant. For me, it would probably be if I suddenly started updating the comic at the same time on the same days each week.

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42 Comments

  1. If I stayed off a computer for an entire day, my family at the very least take me to the doctor. (I don't work on a computer for a living.)

  2. The joke with the update schedule for the comic I used to help run was that "MWF" stood for "Maybe, Whenever, and the Fourteenth."

    If I come to bed before 10, my wife gets suspicious. Especially if I'm not trying to get some lovey time.

  3. I once went an entire day without making a snarkey or sarcastic comeback and had seven different people ask me if I was feeling ok

      • Yeah my school friends think I have no social skill but I do so when I tell them a story of me meeting new people the cry bullshit you are the most antisocial person we know so when one of them saw me talking to a girl they lost the shit

  4. When I was a teen, I once came in to school with a sweater that, in addition to black and grey stripes, had one blue one and one red one.

    Nobody recognized me. My friends later said it was because of "all the colours" I was wearing. Heh.

    These days, if I got up at a reasonable hour and did chores instead of dragging my ass out of bed at noon and spending the day on the computer, I'm pretty sure doctors would be involved.

  5. I wore a sweatshirt yesterday and had multiple people comment on it. I almost never wear anything heavier than a t-shirt. (I have a cold and was having a hard time staying warm so, sweatshirt).

  6. If I ever lost interest in video games death metal and rap my dad would get out his laser tube and retire me

  7. This has happened! I stopped obsessively organizing & sorting my underclothes & socks, and my husband panicked!
    "What does this mean? Are you depressed?!"
    "…No, my meds are just working properly. BREATHE."

    • I got a funny look from my parents when I went to visit and put my clothes in a drawer instead of operating out of my suitcase like usual.

  8. As I am ALWAYS at least 15 minutes late to work, if I arrive before 9:15 am then everyone looks out the window to see if the Four Horsemen are saddling up for their ride.

    • At my last real job, I was the same. RELIABLY 15 minutes late. It always bothered me that the 15 minutes from 8am to 8:15am where everyone is just getting coffee and trying to wake up were SO INCREDIBLY important, but the 2 hours from 5PM to 7PM that I often stayed to get shit done (when I should have left at 5pm) were never noticed or important.

      • Well, if they acknowledged your extra work, they might have to acknowledge some sort of compensation for it, and by focusing on your 15min "tardiness" in the morning they have a way to make you feel vulnerable and guilty. If they ever admitted (even entirely to themselves) that the extra hours afterwards were more important than the missed 15min at the start, they'd be defusing a powerful standard tool of management for keeping employees in line.

        It's also because a lot of workplaces and management styles are based on compliance. In their mindset, it's less of a positive that you work harder than it is a potential negative that you can think for yourself and act outside of the prescribed guidelines. And in a way they were right, since you (to the benefit of us readers!) indeed left that job, eh? Many employers would really *love* to just employ Replicants.

        • It's been about 8 years since I worked for those guys and I think you've just given me some real insight into their mindset that I didn't have before. I really think you hit the nail on the head. Always being 15 minutes late kept me nervous about my status and gave them something to hold over me. And they did have a HUGE problem with anything that seemed like a slight to their ultimate authority over all their employees. I'm sure they were quietly seething every time I wasn't there at precisely 8am because that's when they told me to be there. They insisted on conformity to their style rather than understanding the limitations and gifts of their employees and focusing on those in order to make everyone happier and more productive.

          For instance, we all started working in the same room in a small office. No cubes and no walls. Everyone felt accessible and open. The moment we moved to new offices they bought cubes for all the employees (which everyone protested as making them feel isolated from their coworkers and alone all day) and locked themselves away behind office doors. The kids they hired were fresh out of 2 year art school (the only way to find people willing to accept salaries $10K below the average) and the most important thing to them was to feel like they were working with friends. As soon as the cubes went up, all of the original employees were gone within a year.

          Nearly a decade later this shit is still so frustrating to think about.

  9. Thankfully I have super awesome supervisors who see and appreciate both the quality of my work and that I often work through breaks and lunches to the point of being willing to overlook my lack of promptness. I am VERY lucky in that regard.
    I got one of those "cool" supervisors. Today I was telling him that I used him and my 10+ years at my job as an example to my son, who is afraid to ask for help with schoolwork for fear of being seen as "dumb", that I still ask for help and my supervisor always happily helps me and doesn't call me dumb. With a deadpan straigth face my supervisor goes, "To your face at least." Held it for a second or two more and we both burst out laughing, I was like, "yeah I had a hard time not imagining that very thing and laughing while I was saying that last night."

  10. Considering I arrived at the office at 3PM today, I think my personal answer is the exact same as Josh's here. I did arrive at 7:30AM a few weeks back and it was all anybody could talk about that day.

    • There is. In the menubar under COMICS it says "Latest HijiNKS ENSUE." Bookmark that link. Also, if you ever intend to comment here again without getting immediately banned, I suggest you find a more polite way to phrase your questions.

  11. I'd hate to see what Josh's HR at work will do if he's caught wearing only bicycle shorts and yammering on about "tears in the rain".
    I believe if my family caught me not using my laptop or smartphone, and wanting to buy new clothes because of how they look (instead of, you know, fitting and being comfortable), and being receptive to nonverbal emotional cues, they'd ask who I am, and what happened to the real me. Whenever that happens (rarely), I reply I'm not the real me, but a clone to replace the real me whom I call the Prime (All Glory to Prime), who's on fantastically impossible adventures. Such as photographing for Playboy on a Caribbean island, hunting humans for sport in my secret gaming preserve, or just trying to sleep off a hangover from last night's Roman orgy.

  12. I recently missed class because I was too sick to drive to campus (an hour drive one way) and people noticed I was gone because I never miss class. It freaked them out.

  13. I once wore makeup, because I lost a bet to a friend. I /never/ wear make up, and was the only girl in tech support who didn’t. It was all anyone wanted to mention to me all day. *muttering* stupid makeup….

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