2015-03-11-if-man-is-5-and-the-nexus-6-then-that-must-make-me-7

If Man Is 5 And The Nexus 6, Then That Must Make Me 7

2015-03-11-if-man-is-5-and-the-nexus-6-then-that-must-make-me-7

NEWS:
My new podcast Potter & Daughter is live now! You can download the first episode here or subscribe via RSS or iTunesFancy Patreon Patrons get each episode a week early!

HOODIES ARE STILL ON SALE! Use code 10offhoodies to get $10 off any and all hoodies in the HE store! Use it as many times as you like.

COMMENTERS: What bad behavior, if ceased, would cause your family or coworkers to think you’d been replaced with a replicant. For me, it would probably be if I suddenly started updating the comic at the same time on the same days each week.

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And The Bartender Says, “Why The Long Face?”

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Wil Wheaton Plushie from HijiNKS ENSUE, Wil Wheaton Plush toy doll

The Lil’ Wil Wheaton plushie is going to go on presale this coming Monday (6/11) at midnight (Tuesday morning 6/12) HERE in the HE Store. The ONLY way to make sure you get one by the holidays is to order during the presale which I believe is going to be one week, maybe two. They’ll be $20 + shipping. 

So as I got ready to abandon the recent comic continuity and write a gag NOT involving the E.F.E. and his transition into a new phase of evil, I naturally found myself following up with the characters right where the last plot(ish) point(let) left off. I still got the gooey, nougaty Bladerunner gag in that I wanted, but I sort of accidentally wrapped it in a hard candy shell of continuing canon. It’s like continuity has infected my brain like a brain disease! I’m not saying it’s always going to be like this, but I felt like voicing my mini-revelation as I experiment more with the new format.

All that aside, if Harrison Ford IS in Bladerunner 2, it better be because someone is saying, “Hey, old man! You look just like this robot I used to know who died like 30 years ago. You know, if he had lived to be old like you, which he didn’t because he was a robot and robots aren’t allowed to live that long. Anyway, give you all your money before I shoot you with a gun.”

COMMENTERS: If Harrison ford is in the sequel, how can they do it without betraying the fact that Deckard WAS a replicant? HE WAS! SHUT UP! WHO SAYS HE WASN’T!? TELL THEM TO SHUT UP FOREVER! Maybe he could have a cameo has the “old guy who Deckard’s face was based on.” Otherwise they’d have to CGI de-age him like Jeff Bridges or Snape, which we all know has SUPER creep-tastic results. Why are there glowing patches of smoothness where your eye bags are supposed to be? WHY!?

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Built Like A Dick Wheelhouse

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NEWT FOR PRESIDENT!!! GET AWAY FROM HER, YOU BITCH!!!

funny scifi parody t-shirt newt 2012 newt for president t-shirt aliens ripley scifi parody

My friend Corn Mo tweeted something that inspired this comic. Philip K. Dick is certainly a prolific sci-fi author, but he does dance around four or five core concepts in most of his work. It’s not surprising that the issues he wrote about (paranoia, the definition of reality, the machinations of the supposed puppet masters behind the curtain, what it means to be human, the threat of war, etc) were the very things that plagued his addled mind. He also had a penchant for overly verbose titles. Had Radiohead’s OK Computer actually been inspired by Dick, I assume it would have been titled Alright, Computer. Let’s Do This Thing. Let’s Get This Show On The Road.

I’ve said before that the concept of a Blade Runner sequel doesn’t offend me. That’s a rich world and I’m sure there are more stories to be told. The idea that Deckard (Harrison Ford) would be in the sequel, however, makes me want to [ZOOM/ENHANCE] SHIT MY LUNGS OUT OF MY FACE. What a great way to completely invalidate one of the most important ambiguous movie endings in all of geek culture. Of course we all KNOW Deckard was a replicant, but the slight nagging voice in the back of our collective minds that says, “Was he? Was he really?” is part of the film’s appeal. I don’t want to see 70 year old Deckard in the sequel hooked up to 100 car batteries with a USB mod-chip plugged into his ear. Doesn’t he realize he’s going to get his IP permanently banned from Repli-net Live?

Of course, Blade Runner is one of those movies with so many OFFICIAL DEFINITIVE FINAL DIRECTOR’S cuts that you can’t even really discuss it in mixed company without first checking Wikipedia and synchronizing your memory watches. Did your version even HAVE a unicorn? No? Then we should probably talk about something else. So how’s about that local news item with the murder and whatever?

COMMENTERS: Is there a Dick story that you would love to see adapted rather than a a sequel to Blade Runner, or did The Matrix Trilogy cover (lift) essentially every original idea that Dick ever proposed (it did). Will you support a Blade Runner sequel WITH Harrison Ford?

You can now purchase a super high quality 11×17″ print of any HE comic by clicking the “Buy A Print” button between the “Previous” and “Next” buttons in the navigation menu. If you don’t see it, try refreshing your browser cache.

Get HijiNKS ENSUE Comic Prints!

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More Aardman Than Aardman

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Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made this Three Wheaton Moon shirt. You can buy it! Then you can wear it! Only two steps to total geeky happiness? Sign me up!

Three Wheaton Moon T-Shirt, Funny Three Wolf Moon Parody, Wil Wheaton T-Shirt, 3 Wil Wheaton Moon, Clown Sweater, Wesley Crusher, Evil Wil Wheaton

I made this comic on paper! With pens! Sitting on Fancy Bastard Adam M’s parents’ couch! Did you know you could make comics without computers? I didn’t. And I still don’t! Did you know Adam’s dad’s dog farted on me? It was horrendous! Come to Baltimore Comic-Con! I will tell you all about the dog farts in person! Also the art for this comic will be for sale a the show. DOG FARTS!

Joel Watson of HijiNKS ENSUE at Baltimore Comicon 2011Baltimore Comic-Con is this weekend! I will be in the Artist Alley right next to Dannielle Corsetto at Table #A187 or so. I will have books 1 and 2, “The Doctor Is In” shirts, “Team Edward [James Olmos]” shirts and “Ewok Stare” shirts, plus prints, stickers and Fancy Sketches.

We have had a really fantastic Fancy Bastard meetup each year. Details HERE on G+ (look for the link to the updated post with more details in the comments thread) or talk to FB Adam (who is organizing it) directly on G+ or Twitter. Hope to see you at the show and the meetup!

Commenters: Do you want more Blade Runner? Of the options offered in the comic, which do you think would work the best without screwing up the legacy of the original? Personally a “Rise of the Replicants” type movie wouldn’t offend me that much. I don’t mean “they rise and kill us all,” but rather the offworld rebellion situations. Could be fun.

HEY LOOK!: You asked for it, so I added a “Winter Is Coming” desktop to The Vault. I’ve also added “Chibi Wolverine” and “Three Wheaton Moon” desktops as well. Just make a donation of any amount, or sign up for a recurring donation subscription and you’ll get access. I’ve also added mobile versions of these desktops HERE.

 

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Why a Wiimote cousin? Why not an axe?

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Because it’s dull, you twit, it’ll hurt more.

Anyone? Robinhood: Prince of Thieves? Anyone? Guy of Gisbourne? No?

Moving on. I just finished Season 3 of Battlestar Galactica. I’m late to this party, but I brought the Barbecue Funyuns. Josh had been telling me for years that I was missing out by not watching BSG. It wasnt that I didn’t care. Oh, contraire. I cared too much.

When I love something, the good people at VivendiUniversalMTVFOXComedyCentralEXXonMobilMrsBairdsBread start the death clock (not the DethKlok). I told that bald headed bastard that If I ever loved this Battlestar that it would be swiftly taken from us all. Rendered asunder like so much Wonderfalls, or dare I say it, Firefly. Why did you leave us Captain Tightpants? Why?

Well, I signed up for the Netflix, put seasons 1 and 2 in the que and immediately started watching BSG…every night. 3 and 4 episodes at a time. Riker’s Beard, this is good scifi!” I says. 14 seconds later it got canceled. Thats right, my love is cursed. Woe unto to yee that knows my love, for yee shalt be cancel-ed. ALL ARE CANCEL-ED!

Josh tried to convince me that I was part of the problem for not watching it sooner. I pointed out that downloading HDTV rips of the episodes from Bittorrent wasn’t exactly supporting the show either.

I think I actually heard him “Herumph” at that point.