Game Delayed

Today is the 5 year anniversary of The Experiment. I posted some thoughts (a LOT of thoughts) about it here.

If you are a fan of The Experiment and would like to see it continue, please consider making a donationbuying something from the HE Store orSharksplode or checking out my Amazon Wishlist. I am quite literally 100% dependent on the kindness of strangers. It’s a weird job, I know.

If you want a ZERO DOLLAR way to support HijiNKS ENSUE, pleasepost a few of your favorite HE comics to your site, blog or social media outlet of choice with a few words as to why you think your friends might enjoy reading HE as well.

I’ve really enjoyed writing and drawing this HBO story line. The whole series is archived here. I haven’t actually cancelled the free HBO, and thus it remains my fickle mistress. Last night I watched Se7en (despite already owning it on Blu-Ray and having never actually watched my copy), and a few reruns of Veep (which is seriously the smartest/funniest TV writing since Arrested Development), but I also watched about half of some god damn documentary about Beyonce.

[UPDATE 4/1/13]

Beyonce isn’t a great singer and she isn’t an “artist.” She’s a good singer and anyone (ANYONE) who sang about as well as she does and looked about as attractive as he is perceived to be COULD (not WOULD) have everything she has. None of those traits are a crime. Pop music and celebrity culture in general often reward the middle. Mediocrity keeps you in the public eye much longer than one hit wonders and lights that burn too bright. But, if you’re going to follow someone around with a camera crew for a year, it would be best if that someone were A) an interesting person, B) Not the C-estof C-Words to everyone that works for her and C) grounded in at least some fashion to a world where they haven’t been rich and famous their entire lives. Watching her live her “fabulous” life was just boring as all miserable fuck. Beyonce isn’t evil, but she oozes a sense of entitlement that (per my working theory) stems from being brought up in a wealthy family, then getting too famous and too rich at too young of an age to ever really relate to anyone who isn’t a superstar millionaire. In my opinion, Gwyenth Paltrow also fits into this category. They are both good at their jobs, but I doubt either would make for a fun addition to movie or game night. LET ME OFF OF YOUR PROGRAMMING QUALITY ROLLER COASTER, HBO YOU CONTEMPTIBLE SHREW! VEX ME NO LONGER!

COMMENTERS: Which celebrity do you think you would have the most fun actually hanging out with. Bonus points if your answer is Jon Hamm, because that is the correct answer. Who would be the least fun?

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    • Those were pretty great, and I've taken a Twitter hiatus (for sanity), so thanks for Tumbling them. I realize saying I've takeSHUSH, POODLES, NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR MEDIA CONSUMPTION.

  1. For me, I think the most fun would be Neil Patrick Harris. A day with NPH would be a day of race cars, laser tag, unicorns, and awesomeness. Least fun would probably be Trent Reznor. A day with Trent would be a day of getting pelted by various recording equipment, cutting crescent moon designs into our ankles, putting cigarettes out on each other’s foreheads, and misery.

    • I definitely agree. A whole day of table top games and making fun of Wesley Crusher sounds like heaven to me.

    • I may have some experience in this department and can attest to the accurateness of your assumption.

  2. Most fun day?

    Hmmmmmm……..ran motherfucking swanson

    Least fun?

    Honey boo boo, because i would end up commiting suicide very quickly

      • You spelled "genocide" wrong as well. As in the wrathful slaughter of the child, her family, the staff of the show, the execs who authorized it, and the entire viewing audience.

        That IS what you meant, right?

        • I was operatin based on the concept of them just putting honey boo boo in a room with me, not the entire cast, if it was the entire cast, then yes, i would damn myself to life in prison for the sake of humanity

        • Now i'm thinking of that stupid "stahp it rahn" meme only with ron swanso doing something awesome


  3. I'm putting in a vote for Jennifer Lawrence, who is just straight-up delightful and insane in interviews.

    • She has the exact same quality as Jon Hamm when it comes to answering ridiculous "celebrity questions" like a real person.

  4. Dunno if he quite counts as a celebrity, but I would DIE if I got the chance to hang out with Steve Vai. He seems like a really cool guy, and he has every little thing a guitarist could ever be jealous of.

  5. I want to say David Tennant, but I just don't know that it would be much fun for either of us after I wet myself with excitement. I bet Catherine Tate would be cool about it though. Probably wet herself in solidarity.

    Least fun – I don't know, who's famously drunk these days? I don't get on well with drunks.

  6. As for "most fun" – I can't decide between Brian Blessed and Robin Williams.

    Least fun? Oh, anyone like Pat Robertson.

    • I've heard the exact opposite. I still wouldnt pass up the chance to hang out with him though. Just for the story.

      • Its hard to tell from KS's story if he's hard to work with or if he immediately pegged Smith as "totally out of his league" and didnt take him seriously at all because of it.

  7. Well, it''s been shown that if you hang with Leo DiCaprio, he brings his own topless girls. However, I think hanging out with Joseph Gorden-Levitt would be pretty sweet.

  8. Best: Nathon Fillion. I imagine it might be fun to hang with Hugh Laurie too, but I could be way off base on that one.

    Worst: I imagine (and from what I've read, most people agree) that Megan Fox is just the worst type of person. And I have difficulty envisioning Michael Bay and Tim Burton as anything other than self-aggrandizing pricks.

    On an "actual experience" level, I spent Labor Day 2001 with OJ McDuffie (Miami Dolphins Wide Receiver, 1993-2000) at a backyard BBQ (friends with our neighbor), he was a chill guy, showed us some card tricks, played some football, good times.

  9. Honestly, my two main choices would be Quentin Tarantino and Guillermo del Toro because…well screw it. It's Tarantino and del Toro! The day would turn into a film geek singularity!
    However, if Jennifer Lawrence wanted to hang out and play board games, I think I could carve out some time for her.

  10. I'd go with Johnny Depp since I heard he's an pretty sweet and fun guy, and Will Wheaton An as for the worst choice, let's see..mmm…Oh Richard Garriot, because he's a egoistical and pompous tosser.

      • Kind of redundant there since one is a subset of the other. Not all nut cases are Scientologists but all Scientologists are nutters. Just simple set theory.

  11. Oooh….Nathan Fillion/Alan Tudyk (preferably together for maximum fun!)

    Brian Blessed – just because I want to hang out at his house and see his 2000 pets (that QI says he has!).

    Joss Whedon – I'd be happy just to follow him around, not even talking (because I probably wouldn't be able to).

    Mark Millar – he seems pretty cool and I'd get to check out a BUNCH of cool film sets and comics.

    Worst…..? Far too many to mention. Any entitled, self aggrandising, egomaniacal overhyped celebrity who's 'talent' is outshone by their propensity for appearing in commercials or pap mags.

  12. Louis CK might be most fun, least fun, or both simultaneously. I'd still like to hang with him (or Jon Stewart or Lewis Black or Brian Posehn or Maria Bamford or Zach Galifinakis or Dmitri Martin or Flight of the Conchords…) for a day.

    Or Pit Bull, if it's "shooting a new video" day.

    Least fun – Dick Cheney.

  13. I have crazy straight man-love for David Boreanaz so a day with him would be like eating dinasaur flavored ice cream. And Russell Crowe is my nemesis, a miserable little pile of secrets. I hope his stroke-face gets pummeled by a coalition of actors who’ve played Robin Hood.

  14. I never saw Veep but for me, the best writing since Arrested Development is definitely Archer. Actually, I think I almost consider it even better than Arrested Development. But like any smart comedy, you should start watching from the beginning to know the characters because that's all it's about.

  15. The famous are to be avoided in real life, especially the ones you like. Politicians are charming sociopaths, actors are insecure, egotistical assholes, writers and directors are willful fascists, and scientists are strangely ignorant outside of their own specialties when they're not outright insane.

    Basically, if you're driven enough that I've heard of you, you're probably horrible. "Saints should always be judged guilty until they are proved innocent." – Orwell.

    • I grew up next to a national laboratory and my dad worked there so occasionally I see someone on a documentary and say "hey, I had lunch with them as a snotty teenager." Nobody name-drop famous like Neil DeGrasse Tyson or anything though, just well regarded in their field. The ignorance is not really strange, it's a consequence of extreme focus. There's actually a bit of a demand right now for people who can be generalists, pick up enough of various fields to act as translators between them, or say "that equation looks familiar, I think Bob will know how to handle it."

      • I would go with Neil DeGrasse Tyson because I would love to have the *Police come break up an argument over whether or not Voyager has left the solar system or not. Second choice would be Mike Rowe, because I need somebody to dig up and replace my old septic system at gunpoint and he seems to be the best qualified.
        *I capitalized police by mistake then let it go because it might be better to have a shirtless Sting burst into the house wielding a chysknife and shouting, "What's all this then?"

  16. Guy choice: Either Hugh Jackman or Kevin Smith. Unfortunately for them, I'd spend the whole time trying to get them out of their pants…

    Girl choice: Jennifer Lawrence. I totally want to be her gay BFF. I'd watch Happy Endings with her and make her weed brownies.

    BTW – what's with all the purple shading in today's strip?

  17. Stephen Fry and Bill Bailey, they are 2 of the funniest guys ever! Although i might need a thesaurus! I wouldnt mind meeting the guys from Lonley Island, but that might go horribly horribly wrong!!

  18. Back in 1991 I won a Coca-Cola contest and got to hang out with Donnie Wahlberg New Kids on the Block) for a day. I was only 13 years old but he is seriously one of the coolest people I've ever met. I'd repeat the experience today with added grown-up activities. 😉
    As for least fun…. I'd have to go with someone who defines snobby narcissism and religious extremity. Tom Cruise.

  19. Most fun: Richard Speight Jr. Hands down the nicest, funniest guy I've ever met. Only gets more hilarious when mixed with alcohol and loud music.

    Least fun: Gotta be Tom Cruise. The man is an evil wizard, combining crazy and pretentious douchbaggery with still making movies I wanna go see.

  20. The late, great Paul Newman at a race track. Actually, I've done this a bit. He loved being at the track, told me "Besides my own house, and the [Hole in the Wall Gang] camps, this is the only place I get to be me, not the movie star with my name." Gracious, generous, and possessed of a completely wicked sense of humor.

    I've run across several celebrities who have gotten into racing and/or cars in some way, shape, or form. Good: Patrick Dempsey (really. Respected by the racers AND the race officials, but then he grew up in a racing family, so this isn't some new thing for him), Newman, Jay Leno (who has done some limited vintage racing but mostly just hangs out at car events), Alice Cooper (who is genuinely one of the nicest people you could ever hope to meet), Brian Johnson from AC/DC (another amazing guy).

    Indifferent: Tim Allen, Craig T. Nelson, David Letterman. No fun at all: Tom Cruise. Crash-prone: Jason Priestley (actually, he damn near died in an Infiniti Pro Series crash a few years back).

  21. To add my late addition to the lists of good guest / bad Guest, here is my lists. Make of them what you will.

    Good Guests: Whil Wheaton, though I haven't personally met him as yet. Good ole Ed Greenwood. Rick Green since he is both well read and a complete nut case, in a good way. Tracy Hickman and Margaret Weis since I just would hate to break up that dynamic geek duo. William Shattner just because.

    Bad Guests: Tom Cruise just on principle…. David Carradine because he hurt stunt people. Yes he was that full of himself (okay hes dead now but still)

  22. After seeing both (on separate occasions) on Inside the Actors’ Studio, i’d want to hang out with either Robert Downey, jr., or Susan Sarandon.

    I forced to hang out with Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh, I’d spend the rest of my life in prison.

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