Game Delayed

Today is the 5 year anniversary of The Experiment. I posted some thoughts (a LOT of thoughts) about it here.

If you are a fan of The Experiment and would like to see it continue, please consider making a donation, buying something from the HE Store orSharksplode or checking out my Amazon Wishlist. I am quite literally 100% dependent on the kindness of strangers. It’s a weird job, I know.

If you want a ZERO DOLLAR way to support HijiNKS ENSUE, pleasepost a few of your favorite HE comics to your site, blog or social media outlet of choice with a few words as to why you think your friends might enjoy reading HE as well.

I’ve really enjoyed writing and drawing this HBO story line. The whole series is archived here. I haven’t actually cancelled the free HBO, and thus it remains my fickle mistress. Last night I watched Se7en (despite already owning it on Blu-Ray and having never actually watched my copy), and a few reruns of Veep (which is seriously the smartest/funniest TV writing since Arrested Development), but I also watched about half of some god damn documentary about Beyonce.

[UPDATE 4/1/13]

Beyonce isn’t a great singer and she isn’t an “artist.” She’s a good singer and anyone (ANYONE) who sang about as well as she does and looked about as attractive as he is perceived to be COULD (not WOULD) have everything she has. None of those traits are a crime. Pop music and celebrity culture in general often reward the middle. Mediocrity keeps you in the public eye much longer than one hit wonders and lights that burn too bright. But, if you’re going to follow someone around with a camera crew for a year, it would be best if that someone were A) an interesting person, B) Not the C-estof C-Words to everyone that works for her and C) grounded in at least some fashion to a world where they haven’t been rich and famous their entire lives. Watching her live her “fabulous” life was just boring as all miserable fuck. Beyonce isn’t evil, but she oozes a sense of entitlement that (per my working theory) stems from being brought up in a wealthy family, then getting too famous and too rich at too young of an age to ever really relate to anyone who isn’t a superstar millionaire. In my opinion, Gwyenth Paltrow also fits into this category. They are both good at their jobs, but I doubt either would make for a fun addition to movie or game night. LET ME OFF OF YOUR PROGRAMMING QUALITY ROLLER COASTER, HBO YOU CONTEMPTIBLE SHREW! VEX ME NO LONGER!

COMMENTERS: Which celebrity do you think you would have the most fun actually hanging out with. Bonus points if your answer is Jon Hamm, because that is the correct answer. Who would be the least fun?

Slouching Towards Bethlehamster

“Winter Is Coming” shirts are now IN THE STORE!!! [based on this comic]

Me, Randy Milholland, David Willis, Danielle Corsetto, Jeph Jaques, Rob Denbleyker and MORE will be at the Dragon’s Lair Webcomic Rampage panel/signing event on December 10th and 11th. It is always a good time. Austin Fancy Bastard should NOT miss it.

When I heard the new TV spot for Alvin & The Chipmunks 3: ~~Chips Ahoy~~ Chipwrecked (heard as opposed to saw because why would I look up?) I did the auditory equivalent of a double-take. Did Alvin actually just quote Charlie Sheen (and all of early 2011 America) by exclaiming, “WINNING!”? Was this anthro-rodent, intended for entertainment consumption by children repeating the mental instability battle cry that propelled one Mr. Carlos Estivez (AKA Charlie Sheen, AKA The Blood Tiger, AKA Charlie Llello, AKA The Hot Shot: Part Douche) into the hearts and fever dreams of the American media?

A few days went by and I started to think that I had misheard, so I went and dug up all five Chipwrecked trailers that have aired since July of this year. “Winning” did not appear in a single one of them. Not only had I completely lost my mind, but worse yet I had to think of a new comic idea. I Googled and Googled until my fingers bled. Then I came up with a search result that might just be the golden despair nugget I had been searching for. It was a Youtube video titled simply “Gaga, Shazam, Winning!” Before clicking the link, I called my lawyer and made sure those words would not only be the only words spoken at my funeral, but also emblazoned across my headstone in Comic Sans. Sure enough “Winning” was cut into a TV spot, but not any of the official trailers. I wonder if it actually appears in the movie. I wonder if Theodore marries a Kardashian or Simon reads from Mein Kampf.

COMMENTERS: What other despicable catch phrases or questionable celebrity acts could The Chipmunks glom onto? What completely inappropriate context could they be used in and what pop song would they sing immediately afterward? Feel free to re-subtitle the movie as well. Also, why did they bother to have celebrities voice all the Chipmunks and Chipettes only to pitch modulate them out of any recognizability?

Bonus Points for giving a premise and title to subsequent Chipmunks movies. Alvin discovers BSDM in Alvin & The Chipmunks 4: Whipmunks and Chains! You’ll BALL your eyes out from laughing until you GAG!

ANOTHER THING! I was a guest on Earwolf’s The Wolf Den Podcast. We talk about the beginnings of HE, The Experiment and making a living doing the thing you love doing. I had a fun time, and I think it was a pretty interesting conversation.

You can’t buy a cottage with hipster indie cred

Posted on January 2, 2008January 4, 2008 | 6 Comments

David Cross is fucking awesome. Kudos to him for not taking shit about being in “Alvin and the Chipmunks.” (Most) actors are real people and need to work to pay the bills. Sometimes that means showing up for 2 weeks of shooting a crappy movie so you can buy a house.

All you know about me is what Ive sold you,
Dumb fuck.
I sold out long before you ever heard my name.

I sold my soul to make a record,
Dip shit,
And you bought one.

“Hooker with a Penis” Tool