Game Delayed


Today is the 5 year anniversary of The Experiment. I posted some thoughts (a LOT of thoughts) about it here.

If you are a fan of The Experiment and would like to see it continue, please consider making a donationbuying something from the HE Store orSharksplode or checking out my Amazon Wishlist. I am quite literally 100% dependent on the kindness of strangers. It’s a weird job, I know.

If you want a ZERO DOLLAR way to support HijiNKS ENSUE, pleasepost a few of your favorite HE comics to your site, blog or social media outlet of choice with a few words as to why you think your friends might enjoy reading HE as well.

I’ve really enjoyed writing and drawing this HBO story line. The whole series is archived here. I haven’t actually cancelled the free HBO, and thus it remains my fickle mistress. Last night I watched Se7en (despite already owning it on Blu-Ray and having never actually watched my copy), and a few reruns of Veep (which is seriously the smartest/funniest TV writing since Arrested Development), but I also watched about half of some god damn documentary about Beyonce.

[UPDATE 4/1/13]

Beyonce isn’t a great singer and she isn’t an “artist.” She’s a good singer and anyone (ANYONE) who sang about as well as she does and looked about as attractive as he is perceived to be COULD (not WOULD) have everything she has. None of those traits are a crime. Pop music and celebrity culture in general often reward the middle. Mediocrity keeps you in the public eye much longer than one hit wonders and lights that burn too bright. But, if you’re going to follow someone around with a camera crew for a year, it would be best if that someone were A) an interesting person, B) Not the C-estof C-Words to everyone that works for her and C) grounded in at least some fashion to a world where they haven’t been rich and famous their entire lives. Watching her live her “fabulous” life was just boring as all miserable fuck. Beyonce isn’t evil, but she oozes a sense of entitlement that (per my working theory) stems from being brought up in a wealthy family, then getting too famous and too rich at too young of an age to ever really relate to anyone who isn’t a superstar millionaire. In my opinion, Gwyenth Paltrow also fits into this category. They are both good at their jobs, but I doubt either would make for a fun addition to movie or game night. LET ME OFF OF YOUR PROGRAMMING QUALITY ROLLER COASTER, HBO YOU CONTEMPTIBLE SHREW! VEX ME NO LONGER!

COMMENTERS: Which celebrity do you think you would have the most fun actually hanging out with. Bonus points if your answer is Jon Hamm, because that is the correct answer. Who would be the least fun?


Occupy Jumpstreet


“Winter Is Coming” shirts are now IN THE STORE!!! [based on this comic]

Cops are tazing our grandmas with pepper spray, and the government is SOPA’ing the Internet into oblivion. Everything is terrible forever. I can’t think about it too much or it gets kind of terribly depressing.

Desertbus HijiNKS ENSUE Auction! Star in an HE comic! Did you ever want to be in a HijiNKS ENSUE Comic? No? What about you? Oh, good! Desertbus is auctioning off just such an opportunity and the proceeds benefit The Child’s Play Charity. What could be better than that? The answer is nothing. It is the best thing.

COMMENTERS: I would ask what you think about OWS, but I’m scared things would escalate negatively and some of you might start fights with each other. Polotics tends to bring out the piss and vinegar in even the most reasonable geeks. So what about SOPA? Can we all at least agree that a “Great Firewall Of China” for America is probably a pretty terrible idea? [please don’t fight, please don’t fight, please don’t fight…]



The Importance Of Seeing Ernest


Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our University of Gallifrey Fighting Time Lords Shirt over at Sharksplode.

Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt - Doctor Who parody, geeky tees, funny t-shirts, nerdy shirts

STORE NEWS: The HijiNKS ENSUE Store is closed for a few weeks so I can make some big, exciting changes. [READ MORE HERE] In the meantime you can still get shirts from Sharksplode and HE Book 2 from this very site.

[Posted 6/22/11 ] I’m still a few comics behind. Thanks for your patience.

This comic is part true story, and part half-imagined night terror. Seriously, this comic is like when you first wake up and try to remember your dream. The ideas are there but you can feel them slipping away by the second. Is… is that your father? No… it’s Mr. T, but he is SUPPOSED to be your father. Well, that’s what writing it was like, at least. I’ve read it at least a dozen times and I can’t come up with a decent explanation for the sheer level of unsheathed bizzarre let loose in its panels. Did they somehow weaponize an airborne version of Four Loko? Am I  “Wide Awake Drunk [TM]” and comicing? Am I currently in a Navajo sweat lodge, purifying my soul with peyote as this comic is whispered to me by the King Of All Raccoons? Was it something as pedestrian as lack of sleep? Nah, it’s probably the magic raccoon thing.

The nugget of honesty is this unwinding tapestry of madness comes from the fact that I wanted to watch Return of the Living Dead III at my birthday party (it’s FANTASTICALLY terrible) and Josh couldn’t find it on his super secret, private, special space cadet decoder ring bit torrent site. He also refused to download it from a public torrent because he’s so above that and better than the rest of us. I’ve probably gotten him in trouble with Anonymous of Lulzsec or whoever just by mentioning that such a site even exists. Oh well.

As to why I had the Ernest movies on the brainparts, I cannot discern. Again, I’m looking to the Raccoon King for answers, but all I’m getting are scraps of river-washed apple spit at me and tiny, deep claw wounds on my face.

COMMENTERS: I challenge you to 1) Come up with the Ernest movies of the last 10 years that Jim Varney never got to make and/or 2) Put Ernest in other classic movies. For instance Schindler’s List becomes Ernest Goes to Concentration Camp. Roots becomes Ernest Slaves Christmas. Wow, those were both really offensive. That just sort of happened. Sorry.


Revised Company Policies


[reddit-me]“Yarrr! Tell Steve, it be me 15 minute break. Ye’ll be findin’ me in Davey Jones’ Break Room feastin’ on a Hot Pocket and a tankard o’ Mr. Pib.”

[There are a few new additions and updates to The Store. Check it out!]

So, The Pirate Bay was acquired by a “legitimate” company that plans to transform it into a “legitimate company.” I’m sure they’re banking on name recognition from all the media exposure and lawsuits to bring the honest non-eyepatch customers around. Remember how well that worked for Napster? [hint: not well]

YOUR COMMENT CHALLENGE: Assuming The Pirate Bay was a retail store (see the above comic for precident), give me some scenarios that might play in said store. How about bathroom signs that say “Employees must wash hooks before returning to work.” Or maybe OSHA guidelines demand all peglegs be made of spruce or maple.

Just The Tip T-Shirt

Im Not Gay But My Republican Senator Is T-Shirt

Laura Roslin For President T-Shirt


Give Me Something To Bitch About


Sorry for the late comic. I was preparing for, then participating in an actual job interview for an actual job. The Experiment isn’t over, just evolving. More on that as things develop.

Re: The background of this comic – I asked Twitter what my background color scheme should be and Josh suggested (rather CHALLENGED) “dopefish3d @hijinksensue no no no, houndstooth, alternating between mauve and periwinkle.” Far be it form me to back down once the gauntlet has been thrown, so there you go. I don’t really like it, but I still win.

I’ve really been relying on the “I would totally buy form iTunes if not for all the DRM sadness” crutch for years. Now I have nothing to justify my thevery.

The iTunes Music Store is a brilliant piece of technology. I know people who aren’t normally susceptible to traditional ads and upsales that MARVEL at how ITMS gets them to fall for “you just bought this song… your playlist would be twice as awesome if you added these other 3 songs… i bet some hot chick would totally do you if you played those 4 songs for her and burned some incense and got all suave talkin’ with lotions and oils and shit… click here to buy some incense…” But is it really “getting you to fall for it” if it is actually helpful and you enjoy the shopping experience? Their marketing genius can’t be denied, but you are welcome to debate the true nature of their intent. Is Apple the next RIAA or are they the harbingers of fair and just digital distribution?

I don’t have these questions about Bit Torrent. It’s like paying cash for RAM in China Town. It’s cheaper than retail, comes in a paper sandwich bag that said “RAMS” in Sharpie marker, and I know before I buy that if anything goes wrong the people that provided the goods would sooner drug me and steal my organs than help me out.

For more DRM comics, click up on THIS!