Gadget Envy

Unfortunately Starfleet won’t offer Geordi an upgrade before Stardate 64638.1. He’s also under contract for that visor. They’ve been able to grow new eyeballs in a replicator for years now but he doesn’t want to pay the early termination fee.

Comment Challenge: Take the “iPhone=Tricorder” (our tech=Starfleet Tech) and run with it. Do they get shitty Tricorder reception near the Romulan Neutral Zone? Are Geordi and Data on a family plan? Does Captain Picard have to get Wesley to sync all his contacts to his console and his mobile?

Did you know it was Captain Picard Day? This comic (and the next one from what I understand) are oddly appropriate. I suggest you celebrate by playing your Ressikin flute and drinking some tea. Earl Grey. Hot.

UNRELATED, BUT: Did I call this, or what?

SciFi SyFy Tv-Movie Title Generator Shirt

Science Fiction TV-Movie Title Generator T-Shirt @Topatoco!!!

There is also a PRINT of this design too!

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81 Comments

  1. "They’ve been able to grow new eyeballs in a replicator for years now but he doesn’t want to pay the early termination fee."

    During the series, Dr. Pulanski mentions to Geordi that they CAN give him artificial eyes. He doesn't want to switch because it would mean a reduction in the spectrum he can see.

      • I thought the implants he got in the later movies were supposed to have fixed that – get the full spectrum he got with the visor, but shrunk down into implantable eyeballs.

        • Correct. We see in "Insurrection" that his eye-plants are part organic, part bionic and can "zoom and enhance" as it were." Though we are never told if his own optic nerves, which begin to regenerate in that movie, stay regenerated or not. In the next film he either has real-boy eyes or the same implants.

  2. Unfortunately, Klingon High Council Member Jobs' demo of the new Tricorder didn't go too well. The intern who disgraced High Council Member Jobs by not double checking the connections has brought shame to his house and will now be marooned in the Alpha Quadrant.

      • Actually (STAR TREK GEEK ALERT!) the Klingons, Romulans, and most of the Federation are in the Beta Quadrant. Sol is technically right on the border with Alpha and Beta.

        • yikes! Im going to have to check with the judges on this but I might have to retract my previous statement (though delta or gamma quadrant would have been a more appropriate reference).

  3. Suppose Gizmodo gets their hands on a new Tricorder prototype just lying there on a bar stool. How would Starfleet respond and investigate?

  4. "You know Commander, those touch screens do tend to become dirty and cause data readouts to be confused. The old models really are more reliable."

    "Shut up Wesley"

  5. Wait till the next one comes out, with the holodeck attachment. You could be masturbating in 10-Forward and everyone else would just think you're sleeping.

  6. If the Enterprise is anything like my office, which for the purpose of this joke we'll say it is, Riker's wi-fi always cuts out when he's trying to read his emails from Ten-Forward.

    • Or the hull is made of neutronium, which blocks the signal anyway until you hang out in an airlock.

  7. My friend Wes and I started talking about this a while back. Starfleet doesn't actually have money do they? Officers don't get paid anything, right? It's kinda communistic/socialistic? My friend Wes argued it's more libertarian, because there's no scarcity (they can just replicate anything they need).

    And it seems most Federation plants don't seem to have a monetary system either. The Ferengi use Latinum (which apparently can't be replicated) and I wonder where Star Fleet officers get they money to pay Quark for anything in his bar (do they ever pay him for anything in his bar? Is there a Federation tab he just puts everything on?)

    • Ive had this conversation 100 times and I still dont know the answer. The Federation and Starfleet by extension dont use currency. Basically the only thing that keeps everyone from going greedy nuts is a general since of self satisfaction from living in a utopian society and bureaucracy. Yes there is unlimited power and unlimited resources but you cant just replicate a new giant house. You have to requisition the land from the federation and the use of a large replicate and the the time with a contractor, etc etc. There's red tape out the yang. But, for instance, Sisko's father owned a restaurant. If you wanted food you came in, sat down, ordered, at and left. He made the food and took care of the place because that was his passion. The real question is why did anyone bus tables or wash dishes? Thats sort of where the idea falls apart but they never addressed it.

      Back to the cash thing. Everyone BUT the Federation uses cash. And federation planets that want to trade with other races use cash too. Ive seen Starfleet trade goods, minerals, ore, food, tech, etc for things they need from other races before so you have to assume that when dealing with other races the Federation uses more of a barter system. You could then assume one of two things: either Starfleet pays each officer on DS9 a living wage in Latinum earned from various bartering deals in order to interact with the shopkeepers and food establishments on DS9 (supplemented by gambling winnings), as if to say "here's some worthless money so you can buy the spicy Klingon food you like. Go have fun with the lesser species." OR It is up to each Starfleet officer to decide if they want Latinum and how to get it. We have seen a Starfleet commissary on DS9 where officers can use replicators for free. But it seems to be generally accepted that everyone prefers the real thing (whatever it is) to replicated goods.

      • Depending on which Trek "era" you're in (TOS, Movie TOS, TNG, DS9, etc.) supposedly there are "credits" (sorta a la Star Wars), but you never see anyone walking around with a wallet, credstick, etc. (There's also a system of money in the Trek RPGs, and in STO, but that's another long post)

        Supposedly, you can thumb-print for things, which could mean your "account" that has latium in it could be deducted for a night of wings n' Tongo at Quarks. And, from episodes of DS9, Jadzia and Sisko have latinum they use to game, or bribe as needed. They had to have gotten it from the Starfleet First Bank & Trust, or somwhere.

        • It could be reasonable to assume from an economic standpoint that the work you do (starship occifer) equals X amount of replicator credits, etc. etc. so you can buy a vase for Kekio & Miles' wedding gift.

          Since Starfleet feeds/clothes you, you don't use your replicator points for that stuff: it's part of your "reward" for working for them, along with free medical care and eqipment appropo to your rank/job

          How that works in the civilian world could be the same way: Bashir's dad was a big talker/scam artist of a type, bouncing from job to job, and he had "cash" to travel to DS9 for example.

          Yes, this was a long on copy post of something I've thought too much about.

  8. You guys are still talking about the i'mthesamepieceofoldtechPhone? I thought you were up to date. HTC 4G EVO for the win. THAT'S the tricorder of the future baby.

  9. Geordi is (was, from everything after first season) a Lieutenant Commander, which is one of the Commander ranks. Just watch how anyone addresses him, it isn't as Lieutenant, they call him Commander. However, I'm not sure that it matters either way, because Geordi would have the best equipment because he's a fantastic engineer and would know how to upgrade it properly.

    • Anti-Zing! Way to unfunny it!

      Also, Lieutenant Commander and Commander are different ranks just like Lieutenant and Lieutenant Junior Grade are. Riker outranks La Forge.

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