“Winter Is Coming” shirts are now IN THE STORE!!! [based on this comic]

[posted 10/7/11] I had this comic written and half drawn when I got the hospital to visit my friend Mikey on Wednesday night. It was about 7:30pm and I had been away from a computer or Twitter for 2 hours or so. I get into Mikey’s room we start talking about his treatment, and his projects at work. “Yeah, and now that Steve Jobs is dead…” comes out of his mouth in the middle of our conversation. That’s a weird way to get the news. Anyway, I decided to hold the comic until after I posted a tribute strip [HERE] and people had a few days to process the his passing. So here’s my snarky commentary about the hypnotic powers of numbers being added to the names of things. Enjoy.

COMMENTERS: Are you upgrading to the iPhone 4s? Are you disappointed it isn’t a completely redesigned iPhone 5? Do you think any key features are missing or that people should just be grateful for their magical future phones? Also, WTF is going on with cellular, txt and data pricing? Txt msg’ing is a completely obsolete technology that just keeps getting MORE AND MORE EXPENSIVE for LESS AND LESS service. My first phone came with 3000 minutes, unlimited nights and weekends and something like 500 txts included for $35. Now plans with under 500 minutes, no txting and a few GB of capped data run over $100. WTFFFF?




Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt which you can purchase now over at Sharksplode. You can read more about it on Wheaton’s Tumblr and the Sharksplode Blogsplode. Splode. You can also get (almost) all Sharksplode shirt designs in sizes up to 5X as of today.

Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt - Doctor Who parody, geeky tees, funny t-shirts, nerdy shirts

PHOENIX COMICON IS THIS WEEKEND!!! I will be there with Kel McDonald at table 241. WHEATON and I may actually have one or two of our Gallifrey University shirts to show you and Wil will (will) have prints of the design at his table to sign for you.

Phoenix Comicon HijiNKS ENSUE

I am closing out some current t-shirt and print designs. Please check out this blog post since the stuff on closeout probably won’t be available again any time soon.

The comic schedule is going into “Convention Panic” mode. I hope this isn’t the last comic of the week, but it might be. I will be leaving for Phoenix tomorrow, getting back Monday afternoon then leaving again on Thursday for Heroes Con in Charlotte, NC. I’ll be taking that week off (despite working/travelling/conventioning all week) for my 30th Birthday. I have some great guest comics lined up that I am positive you will enjoy.

COMMENTERS: How else might Josh teach his soon-to-be-abandoned gadgets the harsh realities of the world?


We’re Calling This One Busted


DALLAS AREA FANCY BASTARDS: Come see me at Star Trek Fan Days this weekend (October 23rd – 24th) in Plano, TX. Riker, Data, Worf, Doc Brown, Draco Malfoy, and Captain Kirk will be there! More info HERE.

Give Me the Coffee You Fairy Godmother

Flip You Melon Farmer! The “Edited For Content” mug on up for sale NOW!

The Laser Defense Grid App (released by ZingoZany Mobile, a division of The NSA) requires at least an iPhone 3Gs running OS 4.1 and is available in The App Store now. Download it or we’re all going to die.

I know the cover story is that Obama met with the Mythbusters as part of the Whitehouse Science Fair and to film a segment for an upcoming Mythbusters episode, but you know somewhere in the Oval Office desk is a tattered piece of legal paper that says:

Barry’s List Of Things to Do Before I Die

  1. Be a lawyer [X]
  2. Get smoking hot wife [X]
  3. Illinois Senator or at least owner of the White Sox [X]
  4. Get elected first black President of USA [X]
  5. [added 3/16/2005] Become honorary Mythbuster/ press button to blow up a limo or something [X]
  6. [added 4/28/2010] Become friends with Lady Gaga [  ]

As for why he met with Steve Jobs I can only assume that there is actually an extinction level event around the corner and Obama wants to get that Verizon iPhone 4 before he takes his place in one of the arks high in the Himalayas that will safely allow 100,000 of our smartest and wealthiest humans to ride out the apocalypse. He might even get Jonathan Ive to design a stylish, brush aluminum test tube to store giraffe DNA.


First World Problems


<sarcasm>My heart really goes out to everyone who bought a brand new magical internet computer phone and isn’t 100% satisfied with their purchase. Sometimes life just takes a shit right on your face, doesn’t it?. It’s like you’re a helpless little seagull and the universe is just this unfathomable geyser of foul, viscous sludge that’s constantly spilling hundreds of thousands of barrels of hate-pudding into your home each and every day for months on end… ya’ know… because of the bars… on your phone… and how there aren’t enough of them when you hold said phone a certain way.

“CURSE YOU GOD!” And right to curse him you are, gentle consumer. For it isn’t enough to simply have the sum total of all human knowledge instantly accessible from a device that fits in your shirt pocket. Nay! That device must also be flawless in it’s aesthetics as well as it’s every function! To suffer anything less would be like being forced to skip a meal… or two meals… or go for some greater period of time without food of any kind… or potable water… or being made to live in constant fear of the rape gangs and drug lords that steal children in the night. It’s just like that.</sarcasm>

All silliness aside, Apple knew about the antenna problems WELL before the iPhone 4 launch. The only evidence you need is the Bumpers. Apple has never released an Apple sanctioned case for ANY Apple portable device since the inception of the iPod. In fact, Papa Steve has always taken a staunch, “Cases? We don’t need no stinkin’ cases,” approach to the issue. In fact again, the one and only time Apple came close to offering a case was when they started shipping 5G iPods and 1G Nanos with a simple stitched slip cover to appease the 1000’s of customers (including me) reporting all-t00-easily-scratched screens.

So OF COURSE they knew about the problem. They had enough time to design and manufacture the Bumpers, and hope to high hell that more people bought them than not. I guess that plan failed. So what are they going to announce today? My guess is that a full on recall would ruin their profits for this quarter/year. I bet they offer free bumpers too all iPhone 4 customers. They F’ed up, they got caught and they need to make it right. Though I really have to give Steve props for the “you’re holding it wrong” line. That took some brushed aluminum balls.

I will be in the Webcomics Pavillion (handy/shittily made map) at the Topatoco booth (#1231) with many of your other favorite internet-style cartoonists.

FB’s JustChristine and JonnyAce wants to organize a meetup for sometime during the con. Thursday night I will be at W00tstock. If you are interested make a comment. If enough people are interested we can make an event on the Fancy Bastards Facebook page. Follow me on Twitter for minute to minute updates as to what’s going on while I’m at Comic-Con.

Help a brother out…
Money is VERY tight at the HijiNKS household right now so if you want to support HE and see it continue for hundreds of years to come, please MAKE A DONATION or BUY SOMETHING FROM THE STORE.




An Uncommon iNfestation


“Quick! Get me a Macbook Air. We must shave him! It is the only way to sap him of his strength!”

Thanks to everyone that watched me draw this comic live on Ustream. Follow me on Twitter if you want to know when the live streams are going to be.

I remember when I bought the very first Macbook Pro (15″ Core Duo) that it had a set of dummy screws on the left side of the chasis that served no purpose other than to duplicate the functional screws on the right side of the machine. You see Uncle Steve strives always to maintain harmony, balance and above all, gadget homeostasis. It warms my various circuits and doodads to know that my personal electronics of choice are architected by an absolute madman.

[Science Fiction TV-Movie Title Generator T-Shirt @Topatoco!!!
There is also a PRINT of this design too!]

SciFi SyFy Tv-Movie Title Generator Shirt

This ideal is evidenced most by the fact that no one ever even wants the white version of whatever Apple puts out (accept for the Macbook 13″. There seems to be a colon-ton of those things around). I suspect that, per his own special brand of megalomaniacal lunacy, Steve dreamed up the white iPhone 4 only to serve as counterpart the black one. Perhaps to give you a less favorable alternative in order to make your darker choice seem somehow more fulfilling. Choosing one thing OVER another is certainly something more to be proud of than simply taking the only thing that is available. Hell, that’s actually one of the core principals of Mac Fanboyism.