Don’t Excrete Guano Where You Eat

The Doctor Is In T-Shirt, Funny Doctor Who Parody Shirt, Charlie Brown, Sci-Fi

“Alfred, have you pressed my bat pantaloons? And shined my bat spats? Then I’m off to fight crime, right wrongs, serve justice, be the instrument of vengeance… and get a little pussy on the side.”

You guys are lucky I have a modicum of restraint. This comic very nearly included the phrase “his dynamic dong-o.”

COMMENTERS: Do you think DC is just grasping at straws and pandering to the lowest common boner denominator? Or are they really showing modern, liberated, sexually empowered characters? What other outrageous hookups or super-sexual exploits might get more eyeballs on DC’s filth rags? Here’s what my buddy David, has to say on DC’s “retooling” of Starfire.

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28 Comments

    • Umm, yeah. "Going into the litterbox" (wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more, etc) is now so gross that you need a shower just after hearing about it? Yeah, I know, it's a comic, but I can't help thinking that Joel's reaction is a little over the top here. Still pretty funny though.

      • I thought the phrasing was pretty gross (in a hilarious sort of way) and that Joel's reaction just made it better. Joel, you are a genius!

  1. This strip was just so… I mean it's….
    I love you Joel Watson you fancy wordsmithing bastard.

    The "Litter Box" line alone is one of the best things ever said by anyone.

    (p.s, is it just me, or does Josh look a bit different in this strip?)

  2. Wow. That all I gotta say. That was the first thing I saw this morning and I will be thinking about it all day, in a good way. 😉 Litterbox. I bet DC goes there.

  3. You understand that this comic posting at the same time photos of Anne Hathaway in the Catwoman suit hit the net could cause a sudden meme spouting that could result in her boyfriend coming after you with a nailbat and hate in his heart?
    Just checking.

  4. Gah. I stayed up three hours past my bedtime last night when I have to get up early this morning, just because I somehow got sucked into pointing out that two pages of literal T&A does not Selina Kyle an empowered woman make. ><

    And Joel, I was wondering the same damned thing.

    Also: I know from experience that that position is uncomfortable and damned near impossible for the poor guy to maintain, even if he is Batman. Look at his knees! And then he's supposed to *thrust*?! Jesus.

    What the hell, DC. Just… what the hell all over.

    I'm going back to bed. This is ridiculous.

  5. Catwoman kinda makes sense. She is, after all, a villainous thief who takes what she wants, when she wants it. Starfire, on the otherhand, really does seem like a "hot woman gets hit on the head and turns into insatiable sex-maniac" type of 16 year old fantasy. Then again, this is just the beginning and it could all lead to some brilliant deconstruction of sexual moores and progressive hypocrasy. Or it could have moar bewbs!

    • Exactly! We only saw the first issues, so let's give 'em time to develop more as characters, and get to know them more. Simple common sense.

      • That was kind of my problem with it, though. THESE ARE ONLY THE FIRST ISSUES. Maybe develop them as characters first, then throw in some gratuitous sex and we'll get it. As it is, DC just seems to be like "liberated women sex on everyone all the time. Deal with it." Which is a pretty stupid stance, if you ask me. Sure, people can have sex with whomever they like, but A) still not cool to pressure someone into sex (even that someone IS Batman) and B) that's not what makes them liberated (i.e. don't use it as a sort of tag for identifying liberated women. A lot of really repressed, insecure women have sex with everyone, too…).

  6. I would have preferred Lil Wayne to diminutive detective. After all, that title is so famous that a rapper adopted it as his stage name.

    Also, no pussy whipped joke?

  7. Yeah… we see his midriff, so we can assume the batpants are pulled down to around the buttocks area. She probably has some fancy "pull aside" flap the way men's boxers do.
    Or maybe Catwoman is a furry, and therefore her costume has all the "furry" accommodations.

  8. This is a pretty interesting discussion of this issue: http://www.comicsalliance.com/2011/09/22/starfire

    I don't necessarily agree with every point she makes, but Laura Hudson has some excellent observations. In particular, she's asking us to look at who these images are for. If they're really empowered women, why are they posing? Who's getting gratification out of the arched back and tight costume? I'm not convinced it's Starfire.

    From my own perspective, I think we need to be pretty suspicious when "liberation" looks a whole lot like the "oppression" did.

    Also, "litter box" made me blow pop out of my nose. That burns.

  9. Yeah, in all the kerfluffle about character derailment and other reboot issues, I feel people are missing out on just how badly arranged that pose is. Her pants are still skin tight f'gosh sakes; even if she'd just unzipped them there'd be more wrinkling in the pleather than that. And Batman looks like Clayface, abswise. Is he Clayface, here? That would explain…some things.

  10. I'm not really a superhero comic book reader, but I followed the links to see what all the fuss is about, and I have to say, there definitely appear to be some problems here, particularly with some of the images of Catwoman. I always assumed Catwoman wore the catsuit because it would a) let her more easily slip through tight spaces, b) be less likely to have loose clothing parts hanging off and swinging around that could easily get caught on stuff while she was swashbuckling around. I may be misinterpreting what I'm seeing, but it appears that one of the panels from the new comic shows her swinging from a bar while her catsuit is halfway falling off of her. I presume that she is intended here to be seen in action, leaping from somewhere, swinging from the bar, and then using it to launch herself somewhere else, as opposed to casually hanging upside down from a monkey bar like a ten-year-old. If she is using the bar as part of an acrobatic maneuver, as I suspect, than having her clothes falling off would not only be inefficient, but actually could be dangerous and lead to an accident, unless, of course, Catwoman is not subject to the laws of physics. The last time I checked, the Batman world characters typically were less about superpowers. and more about personalities. As far as I understand it, I don't *think* Catwoman is supposed to have any superpowers, unless the reboot has added a superpower that allows Catwoman to defy the laws of physics and swashbuckle around with her clothes falling off without seriously injuring herself. It seems a bit sillier than average, but that's just my opinion.

    • In the actual comic, she is changing into her costume while escaping from an apartment full of Russian gangsters. It's not "falling off", it's "being pulled on".

      I'm also totally not seeing the "dubious consent issues". She decides that she wants to have sex with Batman, then she has sex with Batman. I'm not sure where people get any hint of non-consensuality out of the deal. It's actually a pretty tame issue, all things considered. It's really just establishing that post-reboot the thing where Catwoman has sex with Batman is still canon but that she no longer knows that he is Bruce Wayne.

        • Just putting it out there, and maybe it's to convince myself it's not bad writing, but maybe this post-reboot Catwoman has some kind of pheromone (sp?) based power. It's possible, right?

  11. Even for the sultry Catwoman, the comic was just too much. Selina Kyle doesn't have to be sexy all the time, and considering they have time to expand her character since it's HER COMIC, maybe give her something more to do than flash her bra. Also, the boob physics are pretty ridiculous on that red bra page.

  12. I will never understand why "liberated, modern woman" translates to "slut" for so many people. I'm a woman who reads comics, and I definitely find it a little disturbing that Selina's awakening/rebooting has it's main focus on upping her sex appeal. Catwoman's always been a sex symbol, but do they have to make her an aggressive whore? Also, I don't know this other character Starfire, but she just looks ridiculous. I would have taken her for a prostitute, not a super hero. Have some dignity, ladies!

    Also, can I just say that I don't understand why it's ok for female characters in movies and books to force themselves on men. If a man rapes a woman in a movie, it's shocking and horrible, but if a woman forces a man to have sex, it's funny or "empowering for her gender". I recently saw a commercial for that Jim Carrey movie Yes Man (I did not watch it), in which the main character is having sex he doesn't want with an overweight woman and screaming the whole time! So, he's hypnotized and can't say no, but it's somehow funny that he's forced to have sex with her?? Rape isn't funny. Can we please stop making these jokes now.

    Lastly, "litter box"? That's a good one! 🙂

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