Conned By Constant Consonants

My Patrons got EIGHT TOTALLY DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF YESTERDAY’S COMIC with totally different jokes!!! WHAT?!?!? I KNOW!!!

Dearest Sharksploders, please help me get my Patreon over the $2000 hump. Comics is my full time job, but it doesn’t currently pay full time money. I’ve been doing a lot of freelance work lately (which distracts me from making comics) to make ends meet, and I’ve agreed to attend more conventions this year than I really feel comfortable with (which REALLY distracts me from making comics) out of financial fear. Every little bit helps and is QUITE appreciated.


This is 100% true. There are certain words that I’ve struggled with spelling correctly my entire life, and with the advent of autocorrect and my advancing age I have fully decided to let Autocorrect Jesus take the wheel. I appreciate that my phone is willing and able to pick up the slack for my dwindling grey matter. I do wonder, though, if technology and humanity will even be so integrated that kids just aren’t taught… well, THINGS anymore. Like, would you get a call from your kid’s teacher saying, “Well, Johnny had a problem today. He was in the middle of the upgrade from 3rd Grade OS 6.08 to 3rd Grade OS 6.1 and he removed his USB cable. Now he’s in a coma and you’re going to have to come get him.” “WHY DIDN’T WE ENABLE SYNC OVER WIFI?! WHY?!?!” you’d scream to the heavens. “I HAVE FAILED MY SON! I NEVER EVEN READ THE END USER LICENSE AGREEMENTS FOR HIS SERVICE PACKS! I JUST CLICK AGREE!” You monster.

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  1. I can never remember whether it’s neutral or nuetral. Both look wrong to me, like the linguistic equivalent of trying to plug a USB cable into my computer, it’s wrong, I flip it, it’s still somehow wrong, I flip it again it’s somehow right even though that exact thing was wrong before!
    There’s a crack in the Matrix.

  2. I have major problems with separate. I always start to spell it seperate, but then think ‘no that’s wrong,’ then I scribble an a over the e and it just becomes a mess, so I cross it out all together and hope people understand it when I write, “in a manner which is apart.” Of course, this is only on the occaison when I’m actually writing something. Shit, is it ocaison, occason, ocicsonaisno?

    Fuck spelling.

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