Ketchup in the fridge people are no better than sock-shoe, sock-shoe people.
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If that doesn’t suit you, how about buying yourself a nice shirt or print from my store. That’s almost entirely self-serving when you think about it. Getting yourself a present, that is. You deserve it. You did a good thing one time, and now you need a reward lest you forget why you do good deeds at all and descend into your own personal moral chaos spectrum.
But… fridge ketchup is best ketchup! So cool and fresh, so delightfully contrasting with the heat of a freshly cooked burger. So tangy. Room temperature ketchup loses its flavor notes.
Of course, this only applies to Heinz. No other ketchup made has flavor notes.
That doesn’t even make sense! Cold things have less flavor. That’s the entire premise behind light beer marketing.
Cold things have less flavour? What? So ice cream has less flavour than when it’s at room temp?
Light beer (or “piss” as it’s known in Europe) is terrible whatever the temperature.
It totally does. That’s why ice cream soup > ice cream.
Ice cream… soup? Is this a “thing” or are you talking about eating melty ice cream?
All beer, all alcohol is called Piss here in Australia. You drink piss to get pissed. Drink to much and you’ll piss yourself. Fuck I love my Country.
Yeah, I even checked a bottle of the stuff, and it says “For best results, refrigerate after opening”.
I have NEVER NOT EVEN ONCE refrigerated ketchup and it has never gone bad. Vinegar and salt are how we kept food from going bad before refrigerators and that’s 89% of ketchup.
While I agree sock-shoe, sock-shoe people are undeniably insane, the idea of NOT putting ketchup in the fridge is mind-boggling. I actually had to read through the comments section just to see if it was a big joke!
I’ve never even HEARD of people not putting ketchup in the fridge. The very idea terrifies me. Plus, warm ketchup just tastes wrong.
Some people fear ‘Murica for it’s gun culture…..I fear it for it’s backwards condiment ways. Those of you who love your ketchup refrigerated (as it was meant to be!), come to Canada, you shall be welcomed!
REFRIGERATE AFTER OPENING IS A FALSE FLAG! VINEGAR CAN’T MELT STEEL GIRDERS! HEINZ 57 WAS AN INSIDE JOB!
Oh man, that was a brilliant comment.
But Ketchup does such a great job cleaning my brass and copper! Are you sure it can’t melt steel girders?
Simply Heinz for sure. None of that high fructose corn syrup.
Ew, room temperature condiments? Sign me up for the throat knife
What is going on with mom’s boobs here?
Too much room-temperature ketchup.
Meh – ketchup is rank either way. Brown sauce or vinegar. Or sometimes BBQ sauce, depending on the mood/meal.
But doesn’t Ketchup say “Refrigerate after opening” on the side?
Yeah, if you believe LIES.
That’s what my grandmother thought about mayonnaise. Conspiracy of refrigerator salesmen.
It does; I started refrigerating it when I moved out and started reading labels for myself. My family never did, though, and we went through it really. Slowly. Never had an issue with it going off. So.
Fridge Ketchup 4 life.
Ketchup is so bland anyways. BBQ sauce all the way.
Why do you keep making up new stereotypes? I keep my catsup in the refridgerator because that’s how my grandparents did… do you want desert heat temperature catsup on your foods?
Perhaps you are the strange one Joel.
… and stop making up new stereotypes!
What’s next the bread in freezer people? (I don’t do that one, but know it exists).
How about cigarettes in freezer people?
I’m not making up stereotypes. I’m OPENING YOUR EYES TO YOUR OWN DISGUSTING AND PERVERSE IDIOSYNCRASIES!
The bread refrigerator people ARE messed up. The ones who freeze it at least do it because they buy a BUNCH of bread at once, and when you thaw it it’s not bad. Keep it in the fridge, tho, and it goes stale about 3x as fast just to save it from molding as quickly. Totally not worth it.
I’ve never run into bread – refridgerator people, only bread freezer people. It isn’t because they buy bread in bulk, it’s just where they keep it. If they plan to use the bread, the bust out the toaster.
I don’t know the whys of it, I don’t tend to use much bread personally. I do tend to use gourmet catsups though, and it takes me a while to go through them. Perhaps if someone uses A LOT of catsup, it may make sense to not keep it in the refridgerator. I don’t use a lot. Also, I live in a desert, and hot catsup is just plain yucky.
Sign me up for the throat cleansing. One of the bonuses of having sauce in the fridge is that you have it with hot food so you get that delicious balance of hot and cold, not hot and luke warm.
Have you never had a hot dessert like sticky toffee pudding and then eaten it with something cold, like ice cream? Seriously, you’re missing out!
Warm pie and ice cream. Mmmm. Also warm [fruit] crumble.
See, though, fridge ketchup has better viscosity than pantry ketchup. Solution: two bottles, one in each place.
PICK A SIDE WE’RE AT WAR!
Oh well. I keep ketchup in my fridge and I put my socks and shoes on sock-shoe-sock-shoe.
“Refrigerate After Opening.” Read the back of the ketchup bottle, you mold-loving freak…
Pantry ketchup doesn’t mold. They’ve been lying to you. You’ve been sold a bill of goods… or a bottle of goods.
Google trumps your disgusting world view:
Almost as bad as the persons who refrigerate peanut butter.
Hey! I resemble that remark! (I also refrigerate my ketchup, and I *gasp* don’t even *wear* shoes anymore, and only wear socks in the Winter. [Sandals, Vibrams, or bare feet *FOREVER!!!*])
“Real” peanut butter should be refrigerated, or it separates. If you eat that processed Jif or Skippy or whatever, then sure, keep it out.
Yup, real peanut butter doesn’t have preservatives, added sugar, or other additions to prevent separating.
I keep both peanut butter and tahini in the fridge. Otherwise as with any nut nut product, these can get rancid over a period of time.
Let me guess, you don’t refrigerate your mustard either. Fridge Condiments for Life!
After I open Joel from sternum to pelvis, I will store him in the fridge next to the salsa.
Ketchup definitely does ferment. Want proof? Why do you think restaurant ketchup bottles are opaque while store-bought ones are clear? It’s because they reuse the bottles, and they don’t want you to see the festering grossness that collects on the bottom because they never clean them. If you ever open a ketchup bottle at a restaurant and it spurts, AVOID IT LIKE THE PLAGUE. That stuff is a cesspool of spoiled fermented rot. Demand a fresh bottle, and if they won’t give you one, never eat there again. Better yet, just don’t use ketchup bottles at restaurants. It’s food poisoning waiting to happen.
When I last worked at a restaurant (20 years ago), we would wash Heinz Ketchup Glass bottles in the Industrial dishwasher, then refill them from the Giant bag of ketchup what was attached to the wall in the pantry area. So the labels were gone after the first washing.
It was cheaper that way. I can’t remember if the ketchup was Heinz brand
What was disturbing was that every so often a bottle would “shatter” out of nowhere. Obviously the glass of these bottles were not made to handle the intense heat of the dishwasher!
I guess some people like fermented ketchup? I’ve seen ketchup packs inflated like balloons.
Ketchup is a last resort condiment. When you can’t get anything else for your fries and they are the horrible, dry, crispy kind that can’t stand tastewise on their own metaphorical feet. The only thing worse in the condiment hierarchy is mayonnaise and its even worse brother Miracle Whip.
You judge people for fridge-ketchup, I judge you for having ketchup in the first place.
Ew, room temperature ketchup.
Now if we’re talking mustard, then you’ve got the right idea.
Don’t worry guys, Joel is clearly just employing the classic psychological tactic of projection, a common fallback of all twisted, deranged, weak-minded psychopaths. You see, though he’s a mentally warped freak who thinks that just because a condiment CAN be left unrefrigerated, therefore it SHOULD be left unrefrigerated, in his deepest soul, he KNOWS how wrong and demented his views on proper food dressing storage are, but he can’t reconcile his depravity with his strongly ingrained (disgusting) desire to slather his food in piss-warm tomato syrup, so he must project his self-loathing onto the opposing position, namely those who put their semi-liquid garnishes in the fridge where they belong, as God intended. He, just like all of us, KNOWS how horrid he is, but he MUST attack the good and righteous cold ketchup lovers of the world to maintain the final remaining faint thread of connection to rational, decent society that he has left, that he desperately clings to as a means of convincing himself that he’s a real person and not some aberrant monster existing at the fringes of our proper and noble bottled sauce-chilling civilization. He is not to be attacked or mocked, but to be pitied.
And lest it not be clear, the previous post is TOTALLY SERIOUS, and NOT a work of comedy or satire, I SWEAR TO GOD #duh #blatant_sarcasm #oppositedaywheee
Honestly, there used to be a time when I didn’t have to disclaimer my jokes . . . I miss those days,
It isn’t about the ketchup. Joel is playing a longer game here. He is causing us (parents) to mistrust other children and stop inviting them over for sleepovers. Soon Joel will be the only parent hosting sleepovers, which, being the only way to ditch our kids, we will naturally take advantage of. Only it will be him, taking advantage of us. And then, only then, will the pickle relish come out. See, it wasn’t about the ketchup.
“Soon Joel will be the only parent hosting sleepovers”
Nothing could be closer to my nightmares.
Until ketchup can make up its fucking mind as to whether it’s supposed to be sweet or sour or salty or WHAT, count me out. Pass the Lea & Perrins….
I feel sad for anyone that has never enjoyed a nice catsupsicle on a warm summer’s day.
And sock-shoe, sock-shoe is the only way for me.
Fuck your condiments! I don’t wear socks with my shoes
Used to have this problem with chocolate syrup. My entire life, my parents believed it didn’t need to be refrigerated, and it DID grow mold in time. Basically, I wouldn’t touch the stuff until I finally convinced them to start storing it in the fridge, around the age of 17. Same problem with Parmesan cheese, should be stored in the fridge for the best shelf-life. My weirdest thing, though, is how I prefer room temp mayo. I once found shelf-stable mayo at a restaurant supply store and bought a bottle of it and was the happiest I’ve ever been with a condiment.
Even I store that in the fridge. I’m not an animal.
Why would your shoes be anywhere near where you put on your socks? Shoes stay by the door. Socks are in the bedroom.
Next you’ll be telling me people don’t wear slippers around the house.
Shoes are the best defense against stray LEGO bricks. Slippers don’t always do the job.
I grew up in a house that refridged the syrup (“Oh. Just run it under hot water to speed up the pouring, dear.”)
I moved out at 18 and for the last 20 years never had a bottle in the fridge.
This is seriously horrifying.
I had a similar experience. My mom insisted that all food trash went in the freezer until trash day. The rest of your sandwich? Freezer. Banana peel? Freezer! When I moved out I started doing that because I didn’t know any other way and my girlfriend pointed out how pointless it was. Throw that shit in the trash and take the trash out every week. Problem solved. I felt so free.
OMG this reminds me of my friend’s uncle who after each meal, would put his plate or bowl in the freezer. This way he could reuse dishes forever without having to wash them.
Thanks Joel, now I can sleep better at night. Both my wife (queen of ketchup) and I don’t keep it in the fridge and I at least put on both socks before I put on my shoes. I’ll have to set my spies onto my wife to see what she does with her socks/shoes (since she gets up at 4:30 and goes to work long before my sleeping carcass stirs for the coming day). But she loves just wearing socks around the house, so I suspect she’s ok.
You’re among friends.
WoW, As I commented during that comic, I am a Sock-shoe-sock-shoe,… And I keep my Ketchup in the fridge,….. What else proves my mental problems?? Getting up from either side of the bed? Never combing my hair? Always doing my taxes at the last moment?
….reading Joel Watson?
Alright, I’m going to have to put my two cents out there:
While ketchup/catsup/whatever is primarily vinegar & salt (yay old school preservatives) which don’t really go bad on their own, there is the tomato & sugar (or corn syrup, depending on the brand) and those things will go bad with time. It can last in a pantry/wherever at room temperature without issue if you’re using it regularly, but if it’s a “every now & then” usage than you want to keep that stuff cold to delay things growing inside.
Yes, it says to refrigerate after opening on the bottle, but a number of things with that (or the great “use within X days of opening”) will remain good well beyond what the label says (and people can always sniff before using to check if it’s gone, it’s not that hard)
Fun fact (and a non sequitur of sorts) shampoo bottles didn’t use to have that “lather, rinse, repeat” stuff on them, and a dose of Alia seltzer is only 1 tablet. Marketing folks figured if the consumers use twice as much product each time, they’d buy more (common sense really). Look at an alka seltzer box & read what the recommended dosage is (unless they’ve finally changed the packaging) and you’ll see that you only need the 1 tablet (packaged as part of a pair in an non-resealable package)
…um, yeah, kinda went off track there.
Peanut butter cups belong in the freezer! Junior mints too!
Hah. Next you’ll be telling us that putting ketchup on Mac and Cheese is a punishable offense in Joeltopia.
Think about the HE and Sharktopia universe–Joeltopia would be a SCARY SCARY place to live in. Two words: Poop. Robots.
Joel, it seems like you’re in the minority here. Are you sure you’re not the sock-shoe-sock-shoe around here?
I keep my ketchup in the fridge, but I heat some up in the microwave first before putting it on my ice cream.
Well, this escalated quickly. I refrigerate my condiments, because the coolness saves its flavor for when I pour them on hot dogs, burgers, steaks, or any kind of heated up cow meat.
But if it’s any consolation, I put on my socks before shoes, unless it’s going to be really hot that day. Then I just wear sandals.
The fridge ketchup trend really took off after they lowered the salts (both NaCl and sodium benzoate) which helped keep it fresh in the pantry. In other words, in the past it didn’t go bad in the pantry but these days it for sure might.
Knife goes in. Guts come out. Knife goes in. Guts come out.
Nice! Joel got props in the Huffpost! http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/55f18065e4b093be51bdb95b?ir=Science
*playful intention* What is *wrong* with you? So many wars. How do you find the time?
P.S. What is up with that jagweed comment on the Huffington article insisting you are a rip off of Penny Arcade, which, how, and why?
Your work is hilarious and not about video games, at least not recently. Do you get that noise often or is this just one crazy spouting off?
What’s up with someone saying something shitty in an internet comment?
What kind of response am I supposed to offer? I don’t read Penny Arcade, I don’t care for their culture and I don’t care what a random stranger thinks about a comic I drew 3 years ago. I never would have known about it if you hadn’t pointed it out, so I guess that encapsulates my level of concern.
So there is this scene from Parks and Rec where Ann talks about a ridiculous holiday Leslie and she celebrate (Talk Like A Pittsburgh Pirate Day) that she follows with, “Which, how, and why?” This confused me in that way.
Figured you had already seen it and were laughing at the dude’s idiocy.
Legit just wondered if that had ever happened, because it was so fucking puzzling.
That was kind of the point of the “your work is hilarious”, so how could it be anything like that other stuff. Because your stuff is actually quality, which is why I read it all the time and PA never.
I…don’t understand this at all, literally all my life we have kept ketchup in the fridge and I love the taste of cold ketchup. Wayyyyy superior to warm and or hot ketchup.
who cares about the tomato sauce. (that’s its name where I come from). I cant stop laughing at those dangley breasts on psycho-mum.
MUST OBEY PACKAGING TO THE LETTER
Seriously, it’ll stay fresh longer in the fridge.