2015-10-05-sharksplode-harmful-if-ingested

Harmful If Ingested

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I’m going to be in New York for NYCC all week, and almost immediately after I get home, I’m going to Austin, TX for Webcomic Rampage. This means this week we’re going to try an experiment. Last weekend I asked Twitter and Facebook to give me characters, settings and situations for the first panel of a comic. No dialog, no references, and just very simple set ups. Then I have to make an entire comic that comes AFTER that first panel! For this week I am going to try to make FIVE COMICS based on the suggestion “A man with a dog calls 911.” Since I’m going to be at a convention booth 10 hours a day, I will mostly be using the same art… mostly. I’ll toss in some weirdness where I can.

My Patreon Patrons will be getting ENTIRELY different comics than the ones posted on this site. You’ll be getting 4-5 comics this week, and they’ll be getting TEN. Sign up to be a Patron and you’ll get them all too!

In fact, they can see an alternate dialog version of this comic, RIGHT NOW!

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I am traveling for most of the rest of the month of October and the first week of November, so I hope you guys enjoy the #1stPanel comics since they will likely continue through October and into November. Hell, it’s been pretty fun so far. This might BECOME what Sharksplode IS. We’ll see. I have enough suggestions to go for months, but if you want to toss yours in the mix, please do it via Twitter, @hijinksensue and using the hashtag #1stPanel.

Do you want A TON of bonus, extra and alternate comics from the ones that appear on this site?! Do you want to support my ability to make a living from creating weird comics?! Then my Patreon is THE PLACE for you. Every little bit helps and is QUITE appreciated.

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2015-10-01-sharksplode-in-all-fairness

In All Fairness

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It’s state fair time again! Time to decide which what sort of fried poison garbage your will murder yourself. Ooh! I hope it’s one of those that’s just an ingredient, like fried butter, or fried baking soda or twice fried oil!

I posted FIVE DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF MONDAY’s COMIC and opened it up for all to see HERE on my Patreon!

I posted FOUR alternate versions of Wednesday’s comic just for my Patrons and DANG HOO BOY are they weird. They are HERE.

And I posted FIVE alternate versions of today’s comic just for my patrons. They are HERE.

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Do you want A TON of extra comic jokes?! Do you want to support my ability to make a living from creating weird comics?! Then my Patreon is THE PLACE for you. Every little bit helps and is QUITE appreciated.

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2015-09-24-sharksplode-not-enough-pizzaz

Not Enough Pizzaz

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My Patrons got EIGHT TOTALLY DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF YESTERDAY’S COMIC with totally different jokes!!! WHAT?!?!? I KNOW!!!

Dearest Sharksploders, please help me get my Patreon over the $2000 hump. Comics is my full time job, but it doesn’t currently pay full time money. I’ve been doing a lot of freelance work lately (which distracts me from making comics) to make ends meet, and I’ve agreed to attend more conventions this year than I really feel comfortable with (which REALLY distracts me from making comics) out of financial fear. Every little bit helps and is QUITE appreciated.

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For the past few years, all of Domino’s “PIZZA’s*” advertising has centered around them apologizing for what they do and how they do it. First they had a commercial apologizing for how their sauce tasted, and how their crust was like a day old bagel ate a shoebox. Then they had an entire ad campaign about how terrible they are at answering the phone, and how you should just order through their app if you actually wanted to get a pizza between now and the heat death of the The Universe. So they spent millions of dollars to tell the world they they make bad food, but they want to try to make better food, and they suck at answering the phone, so you should probably just stop calling.

It all feels like a trick designed to make the consumer feel sorry for them. Somehow it plays into their master scheme of dropping the word “pizza” from their title altogether. Perhaps their hope is in 50 years people won’t even remember that “Domino’s Hot Wingz, Turkey Wrapz, Diet Pepzizzz and Toazter Ztrudels” used to actually sell pizza. Yeah, they’re rewriting their own narrative! Maybe they’ll start systematically assassinating (sorry, PIZZAssinating) anyone who remembers ordering a pizza from them. There are worse reasons for mass genocide, I suppose. What tole will these Pizza Wars take? Will the streets run red with the sauce of non-believers? Will I be unable to defend my life and the lives of my family because my hands are all gross and slippery from the half pound of garlic leavings they dredge every slice of pizza in? Jesus, what is up with that crust? It’s like when a kid fucks up an art project so they just cover the whole thing with glitter, hoping no one will look at it too closely. Anway, take up arms against those who would be your toppings and Vive La PIZZistance! 

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Condiment Courtesy

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Ketchup in the fridge people are no better than sock-shoe, sock-shoe people

Please check out my Patreon and throw in a a few bucks a month so that making comics can continue to be my job.

If that doesn’t suit you, how about buying yourself a nice shirt or print from my store. That’s almost entirely self-serving when you think about it. Getting yourself a present, that is. You deserve it. You did a good thing one time, and now you need a reward lest you forget why you do good deeds at all and descend into your own personal moral chaos spectrum.

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All The Singularity Ladies

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“Put your hands up. Now take your hands off. Now replace your hands with titanium laser claws. Now crush those who oppose your transcendent metamorphosis. Oh oh ohhhh, oh oh ohhh, oh oh ohhh, oh-oh ohhh ohhhh.”

It would mean a lot to me if you signed up for Patreon and supported me there. Comics is my full time job, but it currently just barely pays full time money. Every little bit helps.

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As man and machine become every more closely integrated, keep in mind how only every OTHER iPhone works like it’s supposed to. I’m just saying that I won’t be the one beta testing the new Mind-Wave data interface until they work the bugs out. I’ll let the early adopters find out if their eyeballs get turned to liquid if they accidentally cross into a different timezone, or their intestines get spontaneously ejected when they have background app refresh turned on.

I’m sure the Steve Jobs of the 2040’s (which will probably be a holographic Steve Jobs created from an amalgam of his personal journals, email correspondence and Apple Keynotes) will try to convince the industry that sex organs are just relics of the past and we only cling to them to enforce backwards compatibility with outdated formats. Heheh. Cling. Heheh. Backwards compatibility.