See You In The Funny Papers

Get it? The one guy was talking about a thing but it seemed like something else and the other guy didn’t realize it until the end at which point he fell over. Now that’s a comic even Josh’s aforementioned grandparents could glance over and giggle slightly at before returning to thoughts of their ever impending mortality.

Jeph Jacques threw down the meme-gauntlet and challenged other webcartoonists to draw their comics as if they were syndicated newspaper comic strips after seeing THIS recent addition to the syndicated line up. I was only going to post this on twitter under #ifitweresyndicated but I put so much dang effort into it I thought it deserved a proper posting. It was actually harder to draw poorly and MUCH harder to write something this frakkin’ cornball. I don’t know how those guys do it every day.

Here are a few other webcartoonists who were up to the challenge:

Jorph Jerks’s original [QC]

Bill Barnes [Unshelved]

Jeff Zugale’s [Just a Bit Off]

There will probably be a new comic tomorrow (Thursday) at some point since I was actually working on a proper HE update before I got sidetracked kicking a dead horse industry.

You’re A Daybreaker, Dream Maker, Love Taker

I got to see Daywalkers DayBreakers this weekend. It was fun. Nice visuals, competent acting and exploding vampires. Set your expectations exactly to “exploding vampires” and you won’t be disappointed. Anything above that and you’ll probably groan through your fangs for 2 hours.

I’ll remain spoiler free but the “science” involved in the movie is vampdiculous. Ok, I guess I’ll remain MOSTLY spoiler free because I want to address a few things. The reason for the entire human race going vamp (and these are REAL vampires: no sunlight, no reflection, fangs, immortality, stake the hear, the whole 9) is referred to as as “outbreak” that “started with one bat.” This is the only explanation given and it’s fine for me. Any more time spent on the cause and you’d have a different movie. The problem for me was the time frame. Humanity began to convert (some by choice, some by force) only 10 years ago. Yet in just a decade the world has completely transformed to a stable, vampire-run society. Continue reading→

Punny Or Die

UPDATE 3: Conan’s actual response: No Thanks, NBC
UPDATE 2: David Letterman’s Advice To NBC
UPDATE: Conan addresses the rumors. Sort of.

In a statement about the decision to move Jay Leno back to his original time slot and bump Conan to 12:05am, a spokesperson for NBC called Leno “one of the most compelling entertainers in the world today.” IN THE WORLD. Let’s see how I stack up to Mr. Leno. Here we go:

“Hey folks. Did you hear ‘The Tonight Show’ is getting moved to 12: 05am. That’s true. It is. Yeah, they’re changing the name to ‘The Tomorrow Show’.”

ZING! POW! PUNS! I must be one of the most compelling entertainers in the world too. Here’s another from the same awesome monologue of compelling, world class comedy:Continue reading→

…Once Opened, May Never Be Closed

HEY: If you enjoyed the rough-draft versions of comics that I sometime post, you can see more behind the scenes art RIGHT HERE IN THE VAULT. You can Donate or Subscribe to get access. This is also a great way of supporting HE and ensuring that there will be more comics to come.

I’ve been using Pandora for streaming internet radio for over a year and I have just now realized that it’s system of deciding what to play based on the “music genome” of each song you like or dislike is fundamentally flawed. You see, Pandora only allows you to “thumbs up” or thumbs down” a particular tune when, in order to accurately rate a piece of music you need at least three options: “Thumbs Up”, “Thumbs Down” and “I COCKING HATE GOD DAMN COLDPLAY!!!” The button for that option would be Chris Martin having his face raped off by wolves.

FOLLW ME ON TWITTER and you might get to participate in the creation of HE comics. This comic was inspired by FB @RobStenzinger‘s reaction to this tweet. @patrickcentral and @allixsenos pointed out that (as Josh mentions in the comic) Pandora is only regurgitating what I’m feeding it. I’m ashamed to admit that I probably thumbs upped “Speed of Sound” at some point. Still, nothing explains why it keeps playing Whitesnake with reckless abandon.

My God, It’s Full Of Stars

HEY: If you enjoyed the rough-draft version of this comic that was posted earlier, it and more behind the scenes art from this comic (including the final panel with no speech bubbles for your mobile wallpaper having goodness) are RIGHT HERE IN THE VAULT. You can Donate or Subscribe to get access. This is also a great way of supporting HE and ensuring that there will be more comics to come.

So how have you enjoyed your first 4 official days of living in the future? Anyone do it with an alien yet?

What’s up for HE in 2010? First off I am officially starting a rumor that Josh will be killed off for good this year. Now spread that vicious untruth until it gets back to me!

I have a ton of awesome fun/stressful plans for HE this year, but I dare not speak them aloud lest ye all despair when I eventually fail to produce anything. Let’s just say I’m nervous and excited… like the first time you do it with an alien. Seriously? Who’s going to test the waters on this one? It’s 2010 for fuck’s sake.