Punny Or Die

UPDATE 3: Conan’s actual response: No Thanks, NBC
UPDATE 2: David Letterman’s Advice To NBC
UPDATE: Conan addresses the rumors. Sort of.

In a statement about the decision to move Jay Leno back to his original time slot and bump Conan to 12:05am, a spokesperson for NBC called Leno “one of the most compelling entertainers in the world today.” IN THE WORLD. Let’s see how I stack up to Mr. Leno. Here we go:

“Hey folks. Did you hear ‘The Tonight Show’ is getting moved to 12: 05am. That’s true. It is.  Yeah, they’re changing the name to ‘The Tomorrow Show’.”

ZING! POW! PUNS! I must be one of the most compelling entertainers in the world too. Here’s another from the same awesome monologue of compelling, world class comedy:

“Jimmy Fallon’s show won’t start until 1:05am. That’s true. Now they’re going to call it The ‘Shouldn’t You Be Asleep? I Thought Weed Made You Sleepy’ Show with Jimmy Fallon.”

One more. Can your sides handle it?

“Did you hear about this? Something something veiled dick joke. Amiright folks? Kevin? Amiright?”

I got a million of ’em.

FOLLW ME ON TWITTER, because why not? Also check out Kevin Eubanks’s album art and tremble at the majesty.

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  1. Tiger doesn't want that old slot back – it had babies. That's probably why he dicked around in the first place. He might want his money back…

    Also, poor Conan… I hope Conan fights it, if he is contractually able to. They shouldn't shaft him like this. "Go to California… naw, I'm just kidding. Get your ass back to New York."

  2. Save it so you get the most looking-like thing to FREE VAULT CONTENT!
    Also im argentinian and we dont get mister gigantic chin's show here.

  3. This news really annoyed me. I've never watched Leno but believe people who say he's unfunny. Conan, however, won me over quickly. I really hope he doesn't get jerked around, moved back across the country, or worse, cancelled.

  4. The "Shouldn't You Be Asleep" joke is unfunny enough to actually be in a Jay Leno monologue. You should sell it to him.

  5. Nice Eli riff-pose.
    Leno is like Chuck Norris, in my opinion. He's famous, and I think I know why he's famous (Leno fought ninjas and Bruce Lee, right?) but I'd never see a piece of his work long enough to judge.

  6. Actually I think the dead pan delivery of a over the top joke is more like Conan than Leno…. Leno seems to giggle and grin at every joke he says like he hopes that you realize "Yeah that was a joke I just told…you should laugh now…"

  7. My wife has a theory about Leno.

    Carson picked Jay as his successor knowing that he sucked because he wanted the world to remember HIM (Carson) as the most entertaining host of the Tonight Show.

    • Sadly, Carson didn't pick the successor. Well, he did, he picked Letterman, but the network ignored him. Which is why he was the first guest on the Late Show with David Letterman, and never appeared on Jay Leno.

  8. No one's mentioned what's going to be filling the Jay time slot. The execs are looking at David Tennant's new show "Rex Is Not Your Lawyer" today. If it goes well, it could be fast tracked to fill the hole one one of those nights.

  9. A splendid show old taste once more old chap. Its a bit of a shame a lot of your jests are centred on american tv shows, but it wouldn't be a hijink if it didn't methinks. Perhaps and amusing Peccadillo.

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