Yippie-Kye-Ay Mr. Falcon

Team Edward James Olmos shirt, Funny geeky shirt, parody, battlestar galactica, twilight, team edward, team jacob

Michael Keaton’s Jack Frost isn’t counted among the best Christmas movies of all time since, much like The Santa Clause 3, it suffers from canonical issues. A later novel in the expanded Jack Frost universe (the EJFU to us Frosters) revealed that Michael Keaton’s character, Jack, did not actually die in the first movie, but instead was placed in transdimensional hyper-stasis by the Intergalactic Frost Lord Gorrab The Most Frigid, and He (not Jack) was the one manipulating the snowman in order to win the trust of Jack’s son, Joseph, whose soul contained the Infinity Starseed – a stellar engine with the ability to forge solar systems or, in the wrong hands, destroy them. It was put there by the Grand Millenials when he was born in order to keep the Starseed hidden from… well you know all of this already. I’m just geeking out. Anyway, considering all of that and the fact that the novelization already reveals that the whole story takes place 100,000 years in the past on an “Earth-like planet,” I don’t think it’s fair to call it a “Christmas movie.”

I have received some very generous gifts from my Amazon Wishlist and from donators in the last couple of weeks. I want to make sure to give big giant holiday-style thanks to Fancy Bastards: Elliot Moss, Cole Parker, Anonymous Ghostbusters gifter, Alyssa Vaughan, Trevor Spratt, Dan & Toni Arthur and whoever purchased all of the Pixar Blu-Rays. Being the father of a 4 year old, I am pretty much primarily on the “giving” side of Xmas, so your gifts were certainly appreciated and made my insides feel all squishy and gross.

COMMENTERS: What is your favorite non-traditional Christmas/holiday movie? Either a movie that takes place during the holidays, but doesn’t focus on them, or a movie that you just love watching every year around that time for whatever reason.

UPDATE 12/29/11:


REMINDR: I have resurrected my TUMBLR and started things off by posting my giant “How to save Terra Nova” rant (mentioned in this comic’s post) and a free mobile desktop wallpaper of “Dino Jesus.” I have plans for this TUMBLR in 2012 that involve changing some of the ways I offer content and who I offer it to. The basic strategy is more content to more people. I do not see this as being a negative.

Posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , .


  1. Did you count the movie Santa's Slay? Any movie that has santa killing people with ornaments like a festive ninja elf can't be too bad. I mean after all they kill Fran Dreisser 5 minutes into the movie!

    • That is my favorite Christmas movie, if only because it includes a pastor reading a eulogy for a bunch of strippers.

      • Finally, someone agrees! Oh, many people like the movie, but when I tell them it's one of my favorite Christmas movies, they give you, y'know… the LOOK. "But it's not a Christmas movie!" they exclaim. Pssht!

        • Gremlins focuses on Christmas more than Die Hard does. I imagine many of the people who don't consider them Christmas movies probably saw them back in the 80s when both films were major summer blockbuster releases for some odd reason.

  2. I watched all 3 Die Hard movies on Chrismas Eve right in a row. ……………………there are only 3 Die Hard movies before anyone says anything else……………………….3

      • If you're going to go the "4 lights" route, I'm tossing in ST: Generations as an Xmas movie.
        Mainly because a) you should only watch it once a year, if that, and b) Picard in the Victorian Xmas Nexus Guinan trippy visit…complete with supernova ornaments.

  3. 12 Monkeys
    Lobo Paramilitary Christmas Special

    And oh yes, the most super spectacular, box office smash hit, multi-billion dollar blockbuster, awesomest, most heart warming, best holiday movie ever made, JINGLE ALL THE WAY!!!!!! This movie is so heartwarming that if you dropped copies of it in the Middle East, it will melt away generations of religious and ethnic violence. It would create peace between the Israelis and Palestinians and generate so much love and goodwill that we can harness it as a new energy source to end the world’s dependence on carbon fuels.

  4. I dunno about movies, but I really enjoy re-reading the Transmetropolitan Special "Next Winters" around this time of year.

    "The Future is an inherently good thing. And we move into it, one winter at a time. The world is, generally and on balance, a better place to live this year than it was last year."

    • Cool. I usually don't associate such an upbeat, positive sentiment from Transmetropolitan, or anything published by Vertigo, really.

  5. Ground Hogs Day. There is snow, depression, redemption, Bill Murray.

    Also, The Ice Harvest. Nothing says Christmas like murder and strip clubs.

  6. Black Christmas. Pre-Superman Margot Kidder drinking her way into the arms of a serial killer. Andrea Martin as the Jew-ish comedy relief. Stupid cops. XMAS KILLINGS!

  7. The first two Terminator movies are pretty rad interpretations of the nativity story (or at least the life of jesus ages 0-12(?)), for anyone looking for something more spiritually uplifting this holiday season. A great alternative to midnight mass!

  8. I love Die Hard but Clark W Griswald is my holiday hero. He perfectly captures the way I feel about Christmas. I can't let the season pass without watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

    *Having just read the "assignment" I realize that this doesn't actually count… so I'm going to go ahead and say Night of the Living Dead which is all about the birth and transformation of Christianity.

    After Jesus, the original Zombie rises and leaves his grave (we first see zombies in a graveyard.. he, like all christians, shares in communion. This communion, eating of the flesh, converts new followers who then spread the word and the holy communion to everyone.

    • Christmas Vacation may well have the most quotable lines of any movie. If not the most, it's certainly up there. I mean, come on…how many of us have pulled out "Shitter's full" or "Hallelujah, holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?"

      • I can't remember how many times I've said "Grace? She passed on thirty years ago" or "You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitro glycerin factory."

        • Personally, though, I HAVE frequently used the phrase "If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet I couldn't be any more surprised than I am right now".

  9. Die Hard movies are totally Christmas tradition, but somewhere along the line I also started marathons of The Matrix trilogy on Christmas Eve, since I don't personally put much weight into the association of Jesus Christ with either the Matrix movies or spending the 25th of December with my loved ones, I don't really know why The Matrix has become a Christmas movie, but I enjoyed it again this year!

  10. This was the time of year when the Lord of the Rings movies were released in theaters. Since then, I've usually watched all three extended editions back-to-back in the post-holiday laziness period. Of course, with The Hobbit being released next December, I may just OD on geekiness.

  11. Trading Places (the Eddie Murphy/Dan Ankroyd thing from the 80's) is my favorite non-christmas but filmed at christmas time movie.

  12. It's new, but ever since its release last year, I plan on making "Rare Exports" my holiday viewing tradition. As unconventional as it is, it genuinely is a heartwarming Christmas tale. It just happens to have some horror-movie tropes to deliver it.

    You can see the two original short films that gave rise to the feature film (which would essentially be the prequel to the shorts) through the Story page of the official website: http://www.rareexportsmovie.com/en#story . Go on, tell me you're not also all over making this your own holiday habit after watching them.

  13. It's new, but ever since its release last year, I plan on making "Rare Exports" my holiday viewing tradition. As unconventional as it is, it genuinely is a heartwarming Christmas tale. It just happens to have some horror-movie tropes to deliver it.

    You can see the original short films that gave rise to the feature film (which would essentially be the prequel to these shorts) at the "Story" tab on the movie's official website [ http://www.rareexportsmovie.com/en#story ]. Go on, tell me you're not all over making this your own holiday habit after seeing them.

  14. Wizard of Oz and Sound of Music, they used to be shown every year around Christmas-time and I would always watch them as a child….back when you waited for your favourite movies to be aired..nobody owned them on video or DVD. When I was a teen I would always catch Citizen Kane and Snake Pit when they would be broadcast late at night on the CBC.


    Since Gremlins was already mentioned, I have to throw in Long Kiss Goodnight. A) it happens sort of "at" Christmas. B) it's one of Geena Davis's best work. C) Samuel L. Jackson is awesome, and learns a lesson.

    Though, growing up the only movie my extended family could all agree on is Young Frankenstein, so it's difficult not to list that as well.

  16. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang!

    Bad Santa and newcomer Rare Exports are part of my Christmas traditions, but somehow I keep forgetting that KKBB happens during Christmastime! Okay, Michelle Monaghan wears a Santa hat in a weird Xmas party thing you'd imagine Lady Gaga would throw, but the delicious banter and modern noir-ishness tends to eclipse that. Still, it's a gem worth looking up at any season.

  17. The french movie "Le Père Noël est une ordure" (Santa Claus is a bastard). Hilarious dark comedy and probably the most celebrated Christmas movie in France. Because nothing screams Christmas like working on a Suicide Hotline on Christmas' Eve, having to hide a depressed transsexual and searching how to get rid of a corpse.

      • Just avoid the US remake, "Mixed Nuts" starring Steve Martin. It don't think it sucked as bad as most people (i.e. I didn't hate it), but it's by no means a good movie, and most of the dark comedy bite has been removed.

  18. My family watched Die Hard 1 and 2 Christmas eve.
    And I started off Christmas morning with a beer. Best Christmas ever!

    • Yeah, but it takes place during Christmas. They do that so the video hits shelves right about holiday time. See also: "Batman Returns"

  19. My unconventional Christmas movies of choice are the 1st 2 Die Hard's, Tim Burton's Nightmare before Christmas, any random thing we find on cable that isn't "A Christmas Story" 24bloody hours a day!

  20. For me,..while its not non-traditional it is little known,…it is BBCs version of "Hogfather" by Terry Pratchett,… it hits all the right notes for Christmas,…lol

    • Ah, good call. Hogfather is an excelent choice. I was going with 12 Monkies because… post apocalyptic Christmas with Willis, Stowe and Pitt all tied together by Gilliam. Gilliam isn't for everyone but I like him.

      But Hogfather, now THAT's an alternative Christmas movie worth watching. It's the old trope that Santa has vanished and someone must take his place or Christmas will fail, only in Pratchett's version the Hogfather is a much more… wild Santa (I hesitate to say primitive) and Death attempts to takes his place. Nothing will get the kids thinking about mystical beings like watching a giant skeleton in a fake beard trying really earnestly to be Santa. Meanwhile Deaths granddaughter tries to stop one of Pratchett's most chilling vilians (named Teatime) from stealing all the teeth stored up by the Tooth Fairy for his own nefarious purposes. It's distinctly British and 6 hours long, so if that's not your thing look elsewhere, but it's highly recommended for everyone else. I am not kidding about Teatime being chilling however, I would rate this PG.

      I have no idea why more of Pratchett's work isn't made into film or tv, other than it would be really expensive. With the advances in digital techniques making the more fantastical cheaper to film I have high hopes. If I live long enough to see well done versions of "Guards, Guards", "Men At Arms" and "Witches Abroad" I will die happy.

      Oooh, ooh! Edward Scissorhands! I LOVED that film. It made me fall in love with Tim Burton and Jonny Depp, two artists who have rarely let me down.

      And when the canned Christmas music in stores get's to be a little much I will start whistling the theme to Nightmare Before Christmas.

      • I believe they did an animated version of "Soul Music" and the same people that did "Hogfather" supposedly did 3 others. I am currently seeking them because I am a big Pratchett fan.

        • Yes, now that you mention it, it was similar. It's that soft, slow delivery with that thoughtful pause before each sentence. Maybe that's why his Wonka unnerved me somewhat. I was subconsciously waiting for him to put his arm around Charlie and say, "We are friends aren't we Charlie? I'd hate to think we aren't friends…"

    • I would have to agree. Loved the book, and was pleased to see that the movie followed fairly closely.

      Also, I would love to meet Death of Rats. How cool would hanging with the Grim Squeaker be?

  21. My coworker introduced me to The Ref – it's on the xmas movie watchlist now. The best family therapy of all is being held hostage by an angry failed burglar.

    • I love the part where there's this edible Nativity, and Leary pick the baby out of the manger, bites the head off, then looks at it with disgust and says, "Jesus!"

      But the best part is the end rant:

      Murray: "Uh, Gussie? When are we gonna open presents?"

      Gussie: "Presents? Is that what you said? Presents? I'll tell you what. As soon as we get back, we're gonna open the presents. Matter of fact, I'll tell ya. I'll save you the trouble. Your present is a giant, fuckin' cannon, okay? And when we get back, you're gonna crawl into it, okay? I'm gonna put two pounds of gunpowder in there, I'm gonna light it up, and I'm gonna shoot you right out into fuckin' Jersey, okay? And then I'm gonna steal a car and drive to Jersey and pick up all the little fuckin' pieces of your body, put 'em in a big plastic bag, bring it back to my house, put 'em in the fireplace, light 'em on fire. I'm gonna sit there with a glass of whiskey and watch the Charlie Brown special with your ashes heatin' my fuckin' house!"

  22. Edward Scissorhands! I mentioned it in a reply above but I figured it was worth it's own post since no one else has brought it up. I loved this film. It caused me to fall in love with Tim Burton and Jonny Depp, two artists who have rarely let me down. (I already loved Vincent Price)

    Right from it's opening all pastel painted take on suburbia the film is a revelation in visual story telling. It says something that most of what I remember from the film is not the dialog but the visuals. Usually I'm one for quoting things I love almost to a fault (or to a fault and beyond to those I annoy with Monty Python etc. etc.) but I remember non of the dialog from this film and many, many visuals both beautiful, charming and sad. It's not that the dialog was bad, it's just that they were upstaged by the visuals and to my young 23 year old wrapped-up-in-the-written-word sensibilities that was a revelation.

  23. I would like to add A Blackadder Christmas Carol to the list. It's just not x-mass without seeing Baldrick in a posing pouch…

  24. Okay, apparently I have to be "that guy."

    Despite taking place at Christmas, Die Hard was released in July (which, technically, is closer to when Jesus would have been born as well, I suppose…)

    Okay. Doucherific comment over.

    Gremlins has to be favourite non-Christmas-movie-Christmas-movie, but Batman Returns, Die Hard 1 &2, Lethal Weapon, Trading Places, and Grumpy Old Men all rank highly, too.

  25. We do our "traditional" movie marathons for the holidays.. thanksgiving is Star Wars, original tril, others only if we get really bored or food poisoning sets in.. and for New Years we to the lord of the Rings tril.. Christmas eve/day depends.. mostly we do Christmas themed movies, mostly focusing on the Muppet ones, plus Rudolf, cuz hubby's favorite is Yukon Cornielius.. and a stop by from Dr Who. We have a 4 yr old grand daughter so we do play up the Christmas esp when she's around

  26. Every Christmas we do a marathon of Star Trek movies, thanks to stations like Space and TBS that have been playing them every holiday season for as long as I can remember. There's a great picture of my husband and his brother during Christmas dinner 3 years ago, and they're both watching ST 6 in the background. I get all warm and fuzzy with Christmas spirit just thinking about it. 🙂

Leave a Reply