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Alternate Title: OMFZ!

“Hey Supes! You and Lois should come check out my high end steak house, Grill Before Zod. Or my combination massage school/bake your own bread joint, Knead Before Zod. Then there’s my Antarctic wildlife preservation society, Seals Before Zod. That one sort of conflicts with my Alaskan oil lobby, Drill Baby Drill Before Zod. I gots my Zod-Fingers in All Sorts of Zod Pots. I’m trying to build a global freaking brand here.”

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89 Comments

  1. I have never been more ashamed to be your friend.

    Reply
    • although there was his Southern Gentlemen Finishing School: Genteel before Zod

      Reply
      • with a kryptonite mint julep in his hand.

        Reply
      • And his charter fishing boat business: Reel Before Zod.
        That's where he gets the fish for Eel Before Zod.

        Reply
    • I would watch this. NPH is magic.

      Reply
  2. Zoddammit!

    Reply
  3. I had another project called Feel Before Zod… I don't like talking about that.

    Reply
    • And my basketball team. Shaquille before Zod.

      Reply
  4. What? No mention of his American south-west inspired interior design company, Teal Before Zod?

    Reply
  5. The puns, they kill me! (in the best possible way)

    Reply
  6. So funny! I won't count Smallville after May. THANK GOD!

    Reply
  7. Heel Before Zod: Shoestore
    Dill Before Zod: Pickle factory with attached store specializing in pickles and pickle-based products.
    Keel Before Zod: Boat repair shop/funeral parlor.

    Reply
  8. What, no mention of my new broadway show, "Terrible actresses doing nothing but looking pretty: Jessica Biel before Zod?

    Reply
    • YESSSS! My favourite Gaiman pun ever! ๐Ÿ˜€

      Reply
  9. As the Blogger Formerly Known As Wendell, one of my greatest accomplishments was a bit of PhotoSloppery in which I illustrated the definitive "Neil Before Zod" joke: http://wendell.me/1005/my-geekiest-pun-ever/ because astronaut Neil Armstrong DID get to the moon years before General Zod did in Superman 2.

    Reply
  10. On the other hand, I kneel before Paula Zahn, Sod, Saabs and Zomba.com

    Reply
  11. Creepy sad member(s)-only strip club: Peel Before Zod.

    … and to make up for that, here's a Slytherin pole routine http://youtu.be/bbB2hiqn3sA?hd=1

    Reply
  12. He's working on a legal drama with David E. Kelley- Ally McBeal before Zod.

    Reply
    • The show only got good after Zod joined the cast!

      Reply
  13. I heard he was going to start his own fishing tackle store.

    That's right: Reel before Zod.

    Reply
    • He could also start a metallurgy school: Anneal before Zod.

      Reply
  14. Don't forget his online coupon service, Deal Before Zod.

    Reply
  15. There's also his nautical navigation repair shop: Keel before Zod… And the japanese steakhouse concept: Meal before Zod… And the guest line of Hattori Hanzo blades: Steel before Zod

    Reply
  16. Interior decoration: Teal Before Zod.
    Medical clinic: Heal Before Zod
    Fagin-style school for future wayward children: Steal Before Zod
    Aquarium supply shop: Kreel Before Zod
    Legal Services: Appeal Before Zod
    (I can't believe this hasn't been done yet): Restaurant chain: Meal Before Zod

    Reply
  17. At the Kryptonian Kafeteria, they serve Meals Before Zod (ans an Early Bird Special, Zod Before Five)

    And one thing Arrested Development had planned for if it hadn't been cancelled: Lucille (and the Loose Seal) Before Zod.

    Reply
  18. And of course, if he'd succeeded in his scheme of world domination, and then later gotten tired of being emperor and let his subjects acquire more self-determination, he might have had:
    Commonweal Before Zod.

    I thank you.

    Reply
  19. They were going to offer Wayne Brady the role, but he had to put Let's Make a Deal before Zod.

    Reply
  20. During his time as a crossing guard, he held a sign that read "YIELD BEFORE ZOD"

    & after a few years in med school he saw more than one foolish human "HEALED BEFORE ZOD"

    & sometimes when I think of my favorite movie villains from the late 70s/early 80s I tend to think of 007's Jaws, played by richard KIEL BEFORE ZOD

    Reply
  21. What about his shoe store, HIGH HEELED BEFORE ZOD!

    *crickets*

    I think I'll go punch myself in the taint now.

    Reply
    • You'd be surprised how often I get seduced to do that to men…or maybe not.

      Reply
  22. Then there was his rodent extermination company, Squeal Before Zod…

    Reply
    • And the chain of chiropractic clinics, Heal Before Zod. Unfortunately, when he cracked a spine, he really CRACKED a spine, so he ran out of clients pretty quick. He was more successful, though, with his fishing-tackle shop, Creel Before Zod.

      Reply
  23. All right, His Pot-Bellied Pig Farm…Squeal before Zod.

    Reply
  24. And the universe just cracked in half due to a pun-singularity.

    Reply
    • (Headslap) I just checked back and saw your squeal reference. =P

      Reply
  25. Or his partnership with Laverne & Shirley, Schlemeil Before Zod (Hassenpfeffer Incorporated)

    Or his pedicure parlor, Toenail Before Zod…

    Or his summer home in Egypt: Nile Before Zod…

    Or his breakfast cereal endorsement deal: Malt-O-Meal Before Zod…

    ….can't….stop….

    Reply
  26. Or his book about the conspiracy behind the JFK assassination: Grassy Knoll Before Zod…

    Or the his collaboration with Kate Pierson and Fred Schneider: Kneel B52s Zod…

    Or when he sued Alex Rodriguez for plagiarism for "Kneel Before ARod"…

    Reply
  27. He could go into business selling rotisserie ovens on TV – Ron Popeil before Zod!

    Reply
  28. He pitched a lame talk show to MTV: Keepin' it Real before Zod.

    Reply
  29. Heard he's in a new Tv sitcom with Tony Danza: Who's the Zod?

    Reply
  30. Movie review site: Reel Before Zod
    Modern art gallery: Surreal Before Zod
    RV dealer: Fifth Wheel Before Zod
    Laser eye surgery clinic: Corneal Before Zod
    Paint store: Colour Wheel Before Zod

    Reply
  31. Not to mention the Christmas Special: Noel Before Zod.

    … or the beauty magazine, Elle Before Zod …

    And, of course, the seminary: Zeal Before Zod.

    Reply
    • Zeal before Zod is my frontrunner for favorite thus far. Well done sir.

      Reply
    • Zeal before Zod.

      I'm giggling every time I think about it.

      Reply
  32. His slapstick work is done under the name "Banana Peal Before Zod".

    Reply
  33. it got kind of sad when he sunk so low as to star in the "reality" TV show: "the Surreal life Before Zod"

    But he needed the money after his failed New Orleans style restaurant: "Creole Before Zod"

    I feel dirty now, I need a drink…
    guess that means I need to head over to the corner pub: "Ale Before Zod"

    Reply
  34. Man, this one's making the rounds! I'm filing a petition with the Tropes Board to have this achieve Ascended Memehood straight away.

    Reply
  35. course, he lets out his dark side at the strip club when he gets the two-girl lap dance and tells them to "Cop a Feel before Zod"

    he tried pitching a show to Fox back in the day, when they told him no he said "Ally McBeal before Zod?"

    Reply
  36. His eugenics lab is Allele Before Zod.

    Reply
  37. Having not seen any Superman related news recently, is it a bad thing that when I saw the title "OMZ" in google reader, I immediately thought "must be Oh My Zod"?

    Oh, and don't forget Zod's brief (and regrettable) foray into the porn industry: Todd Before Zod

    Reply
  38. His Gardening Show: "Sod before Zod"

    blog fix: "I’m trying to build a global freaking braNd here.”

    Reply
  39. His cookbook of terrines, pates and other forcemeats: Congeal Before Zod
    Star Trek cos-play: Trill Before Zod
    His mid-market chain of big-box stores: Retail Before Zod
    Zod and Beastie Boys' rap collaboration: Licence to Ill Before Zod
    That time he was a British spy: Licence to Kill Before Zod
    His Congressional campaign: Bill Before Zod
    Injured and sick porcupine rescue mission: Quill Before Zod
    Prison warden: Jail Before Zod

    Reply
  40. His personal license plate company: N3LB4ZD

    Reply
    • Why do I think I'm going to see that name in a MMORPG sometime in the near future? If it isn't being used already?

      Reply
  41. A blacksmithy making good used heat-vision and super-breath: Anneal before Zod

    Reply
  42. He just released a line of pink cute cellphones in Japan that will appeal to the school girl set: Squeal before Zod.

    Reply
  43. Lets not forget his time as a host on HGTV's Curb Appeal Before Zod.

    Reply
  44. Holy Crap I can’t stop giggling at this one!

    Reply
  45. I would buy the Deliverance-style Squeal Before Zod in a HEARTBEAT. In Superman II he was one hot leather daddy…

    Reply
  46. Don't leave out his new small government lobbyist organization, Repeal before Zod

    Reply
  47. I think we have literally destroyed the very fabric of reality with so many Zod puns.

    Reply
  48. his cereal company: oatmeal before Zod
    Sushi restaurant: Eel before Zod
    Camouflage company: Conceal before Zod
    Swordsmith: Cold Steel before Zod

    I think I should stop now…

    Reply
    • Eel Before Zod is actually in the comic. Its the first one, in fact.

      Reply
      • yeah my bad was thinking of these at work, checked all the comments but not the comic itself lol. feel like an idiot now lol.

        Reply
  49. I upvoted it to make you feel better.

    Reply
    • Now I no longer have the unique honor of a downrated pun! I am again merely one of the herd!

      Reply
  50. What about the General's how to book on dog training: Heel before Zod

    Reply
  51. Kneel before Bod, the hot new low-impact yoga workout.

    Reply
  52. And his hit new game show "Let's Make a Deal Before Zod".

    Reply
    • Including the exciting "Spin The Wheel Before Zod" round.

      Reply
  53. And his new daytime talk show "Feel Before Zod".

    Reply
  54. Dermatology & beauty parlour: (Chemical) Peel Before Zod

    Reply
  55. Xzibit gets replaced on his MTV car makeover show. It's now called Wheel Before Zod

    Reply
  56. To unwind after escaping the Phantom Zone, he takes up Cubism and abstract art. The resulting gallery show is called Surreal Before Zod

    Reply
    • Looks like Supes doesnt agree with you.

      Reply
      • I stopped watching "Smallville" when the fellow calling himself the Green Arrow showed up, so I don't know the answer to this, but…Was Superman ever actually in the show "Smallville"?

        Reply
  57. I am probably playing both my gay card and my geek card more than I wish, but I would line up overnight to see Neil Before Zod.

    Reply
  58. All of these commenters should apply at "Spiel Before Zod". And be on the lookout at McDonald's for the new "Happy Meal Before Zod". If this all bothers you, you can talk to a therapist at "Feel Before Zod".

    Reply
  59. Storefront art gallery: Surreal Before Zod.

    Notary public: Seal Before Zod.

    Irish dance class studio: Reel Before Zod.

    Reply
  60. There was that one time he closed out the show for a pop act turned lounge act: Captain and Tennille Before Zod

    Reply
  61. Let's not forget his Catholic journal of opinion:

    Commonweal Before Zod

    Reply
  62. This has been the worst Spiel before Zod I've ever seen.

    Reply
  63. I was really hoping the beef farm would be "Veal, Beef, or Zod."

    That said, let's not forget his hardware store: Nail before Zod.

    Or his public-speaking-for-sales-reps class: Speil before Zod.

    Reply
  64. Of course, there's always his chain of manure dealers: General Zod's Craptacular Store

    …but we don't talk about that one.

    Reply

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