Hush My Darling, Don’t Fear My Darling

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our University of Gallifrey Fighting Time Lords Shirt over at Sharksplode.

Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt - Doctor Who parody, geeky tees, funny t-shirts, nerdy shirts

I find myself in this position with Josh IRL more often than I like. That is, the position of him “fixing” my computer to be more to his liking. “YOU AREN’T USING SPACES, THE MOST INFURIATINGLY FRUSTRATING THIS ABOUT OS X?!?! [click click click] THERE! I TURNED IT ON FOR YOU SO THAT I LIKE USING YOUR COMPUTER MORE!” Once, Josh IRL didn’t like the latency on my MIDI keyboard so he “upgraded” my soundcard driver to one that totally reduced the latency by not allowing my computer to boot any more.

I’m still adjusting to OS X Lion, but I did disable reverse scrolling after about 5 minutes. That shit made me feel like I was in the International Space Station. I don’t want my Internet browsing to cause bone loss. I don’t roll like an astronaut.

COMMENTERS: What other gestures are available in OSX LION? What about the one armed reverse awkward hug, or the Captain’s embrace? How about the one finger Ankh – where you draw gender symbology on the trackpad while singing Ace of Base songs? Gimme your best example and what they might accomplish within the OS.

Dallas Fancy Bastards! I am going to be at STRIP: The Dallas Webcomic Expo this Saturday [August 6th] from 10-5pm. It’s only $5 to get in. Come get a book or a sketch. It’s a very low key show and I’ll probably be doing a fun times panel with the dude from Cyanide and Happiness.

I am also going to be attending the Marian Call concert TONIGHT (Tuesday the 2nd) at Poor David’s Pub in Dallas. You should come.

Last thing: My AC died yesterday and living without AC in Texas is not an option. The new unit is costing me $3000. SPOILERS: I don’t have 1 thousand of dollars, let alone 3 of them. If you enjoy my ability to make comics without dying of heat stroke, please consider making a donation, buying something from the store or buying something from Sharksplode.

UPDATE: You wonderful Fancy Bastards have already donated nearly $400 towards the AC repairs. Thank you so very much. I am always speechless at your kindness and generosity.

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  1. For real though, listing to Josh and turn natural scrolling back on. It is the proper way to scroll, we've all been doing it wrong for the last 20 years!

    Also, if you don't incorporate Mission Control into your daily OSX workflow, you totally missing out.

    • For real though, listen to me, and turn natural scrolling back on. It took a few days but i'm totally used to it now.

      join us…..

    • There's nothing natural about it. Scrolling is moving the visible window over the existing document, not moving the document under the window. It's been this way since the PARC GUI.

      • And that argument would make sense if we weren't way past the PARC GUI. For instance:
        Who said monitors have to be landscape?? The Xerox Alto's monitor was portrait, so all computers must have portrait monitors!!
        Arguing from history in technology is always idiotic.

        • My point was about the the gesture not being natural. Both are learned behaviours. One just has a much longer history and matches the logic of the operation.
          I also call straw man on your monitor example and rudeness on your last sentence. Have a gesture.

  2. Ever since installing Lion, I have to "Walk like an Egyptian" before starting work, else everything I type comes out all "Bird, Bird, Giant Eye, Pyramid, Bird, Giant Eye, Dead Fish, Cat Head, Cat Head, Cat Head…"

  3. Heh oh look apple thinks they know what they are doing. This is why I use windows lol its not complicated and my mouse has a right click 😉

  4. Create a friendship bracelet out of the unused USB connectors that have come with all your various iProducts. Wrap it around your wrist as a talisman to engender the machine spirits. Then hit the power button.

  5. …and the be perfectly fair, the latency on that keyboard was fucking _atrocious_. Goddamn heathen, i don't know how you sleep at night.

  6. Just went through the entire archive in 3 days. Fantastic comic man. Definitely gonna buy the University of Gallifrey tee

  7. All of those gestures could be titles of the next book. Easily.

    I'm waiting for Apple to come out with "rhythmic gestures" , which will replace the handwaving with a series of tribal drummings including the new ikickstand. But on the other hand, my PC likes to work with the gesture I like to call "banging my head against my desk in frustration" sometimes.

  8. One-hand clapping – the perfect thing to do when 2-hand tapping doesn't work. (simplify!)
    My Mac responds well to the what-the-fuck shrug. Much better than my car does. But when that doesn't work, the threat of switching applications makes it behave.

    I can't believe there are still people in the world who use a mouse. Trackball is totally where it's at. I can't live without it.

    • Back when I used Macintoshes, I had a Kensington trackball. That was very nice!

      It developed a problem in which the cursor would go up up up up, without any apparent reason. That proved permanent, so the trackball became history. Too bad.

      Nowadays, with OSX, there are menus appearing, about half the time, when I try to click something. That is inexcusable. That is OSX!

  9. I use OSX 3.9, and that because I had to get an ethernet card. Sonnet seems unable to make the card work with "OS9".

    OSX is the most infuriating thing I have ever used. It runs slower by the day (No, anti-virus says there are zero in the system; and yes, I run that "sudo" script every few DAYS.).
    The "install" CDs refuse to re-install, saying "There is no old version of OSX on this volume.". I will never buy a new Apple product—this experience is unacceptable!

    Arrow keys FAIL on these comments, as does proper two-spaces-after-a-period. Cut, Copy, and Paste FAIL, too. I tend to forget WHY I avoid making comments, but the computer software soon reminds me…
    Buuuuut: Paste DOES work, in the "Website (optional)" box, below… SHEESH!!

  10. The Terrorist Fist Bump enables Hope operatives but paralyzes Quicken and any other budget-preparation software you might have installed.

    The Shocker causes your antivirus program to immediately run a full scan.

    Attempting to run Opera browser gestures and Mac gestures at the same time causes an Apple SWAT team to show up at your door and cart you off to the Safari Re-Education Camp.

  11. I have but one, maybe two gestures for people that try to mess with my machine so they "like using it better." They either get saluted by one of five, or they get pointed to the door.

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