Habeas Jennifer’s Corpus

Every night Josh cooks 6 pounds of bacon and reads aloud from the NecroOmNomNomicon.

If you get the reference in this comic it must be because you (like me) have seen the trailers for Jennifer’s Body, because apparently no one saw the actual movie. Megan Fox is an attractive young lady, but other than that she’s shit-cocking insane. She’s been dating Brian Austin Green from Terminator: 90210 The High School Years and told Rolling Stone that the reason she will never buy a gun is that she’d definitely shoot him with it. I wonder if he started wearing full Kevlar body armor after that article came out. She also uses gypsy magic to keep airplanes from falling out of the sky. So what I’m saying is that she’s s winner. Not a “thankless, unfriendly bitch” as former coworlkers have said. No sir. She’s a winner through and trough.

On a “things I can actually recommend you checking out” note, two of my webcomicing friends Bill Barnes (of Unshelved) and Paul Southworth (of Ugly Hill and You Are Dead) have activated their webcomic wonder twin powers and created a new comic call Not Invented Here. Programmers and coders should be instantly familiar with the title and thus most of the subject matter. That’s not to say non-programmers won’t get the jokes (but you won’t). Bill is the king of niche webcomics that only make sense to 1 out of every 150,000 people. And Paul is the king of drawing 150,000 times better than Bill. Together they can’t be stopped.

Not Invented Here Comic

That’s enough good will. Here’s an ad for my book. Looks like it will be shipping when I return from Baltimore Comic-Con.


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  1. Oh god. The pink daisy mitten….It's like unspeakable horror with a side of the most freaking cute thing ever.

    I mean, you could have made him eat bacon kittens and given the same reaction. Only then PETA would be bangging down your door.

    I still don't understand the Megan Fox obsession everyone seems to have. I don't find her that attractive, and when I look at her, she gives me the freaking creeps. Your post has verified my spidey-senses.

  2. Haha, this is really great. Bonus points for the oven mit.

    I just watched Jennifer's Body and while it wasn't a terrible movie the trailer and the first two minutes give away the entire plot. I might have enjoyed it better if I didn't know exactly what was going to happen through the whole thing.

    • Jolie: heavily tattoo-ed, screaming psycho-bitch who's geek cred is playing Lara Croft in the Tomb Raider movies
      Fox: medium tattoo-ed, vacant-eyed slut who's geek cred id playing the male fantasy object in the Transformers movies
      Is that a valid comparison?

  3. I kinda want to see this movie, but mostly in the dollar-theater/drive-in-movie sense. I hear it's Juno dialogue mixed with mostly shitty horror. It's funny but I thought Juno's dialogue was GENIUS the first time I watched it. Within 2 minutes of my second viewing I had changed my mind. Still a good movie but really, it gets a little annoying hearing the characters yammer on in kitschy semi-hipster dialogue.

    • kinda makes you wonder how Diablo Cody got that Best Writing Oscar, huh? Seeing as she's a former stripper, I suspect some back-door, under-the-table (wink-wink, nudge-nudge, say-no-more) deals were made.

    • if you go into it understanding that the same kitschy semi-hipster dialogue is going to be present, it actually becomes a pretty funny movie. I loved it, but in more of a "i know who killed me" type of way. Diablo Cody's writing style has almost become self satirical in this go around, and its a lot of fun to watch, imho.

  4. Joel:
    I regularly visit 10 webcomics, some of them update everyday, some mon-wed-fri. Some are gaming, some are humor, some are drama.
    You sir, made a comic that is my all time Favorite!

  5. Jennifer's Body? ohhhhh, now i get it. her evil spirit possessed succubus body is what the movie is about. Ahhh, well now thats a horse of a different color. J@#!$ C#@($# (I think i just went blind in my left ear)

    Sadly, i watched the trailer.

  6. You know, I was thinking of reviewing that movie on my site, but then I realized I'd have to WATCH it. Plus, there is no way in hell I'm contributing to the box office sales of that piece of crap (and the movie that piece of crap is in).

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