Guitar Hero IV: The Inevitable Conclusion

These will be followed by:

  • Guitar Hero IX: Rock Bottom
  • Guitar Hero X: Break Up/Rehab 
  • Guitar Hero XI: Behind the Music
  • Guitar Hero XII: Middle Aged Reunion Tour

Much like every other video game franchise that I have ever found the least bit enjoyable, the Guitar Hero franchise subscribes to the philosophy of “Improvement through Complication” (see all Tony Hawk games after THPS 2 for prime examples) which typically sucks all the fun out of the game and replaces it with more buttons, inane objectives, less enjoyable gameplay and ridiculous difficulty.

So far they have confirmed the additional buttons and drums, not to mention a higher price tag than Rock Band. Time will tell if the game requires you replay every song using a formula based on the Fibonacci Sequence, or to inseminate a wolverine before you can move on.

Does this feel like a “me too!” to anyone else? I will admit that I found the Rock Band Drums to be nearly unplayable. For anyone that actually plays drums, nothing can untrain your brain that toms and cymbals should not occupy the same space on the kit. It should also be noted that I was never able to fully  enjoy Rock Band due to lack of convicing lighting and smoke effects. What kind of amatuer hour bullshit were they trying to pull.

While you’re waiting for either Rock Band or Guitar Hero to come out with a giant inflatable pig peripheral, check out this steaming turd of a video.

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  1. This excellent strip reminds me of the "Guitar Queero" episode of South Park (with its Heroin Hero and Rehab Hero games) which was also class

  2. THPS2 Was a masterpiece…I stopped playing the games after 4 though, the games after that didn't recapture the arcadey feel which drew me to the originals. I was dissapointed when they broke up the band (get it) between GHII and GHIII/Rock Band. I could actually tell that the gameplay GHIII was different from the previous games

  3. As a rock band drum player, I want the cymbals, I do. I want them in Rock band. I do not want them in fucking Band Hero or any such shit.

    also, in regard to that GH trailer for the DS… I never got around to buying a GH game, and now I'm glad; I have no insult strong enough for those fuckers.

  4. At first I was gonna chide you for your late comic, Joel, but after getting the goods, I feel like I should apologize to you for doubting you.

    I love GH/RB… but I still sublimely suck at them. More buttons/things to miss with my drumsticks mean that I'm most likely gonna be curled up in a corner sobbing my eyes out–much to the antithesis of what a rockstar should be. 🙁

  5. The whole realism fetish almost stood to ruin the GTA franchise as well. If I wanted reality, I'd get a job and leave my apartment more often than to collect the mail or to shlep on down to the 7-11. The idea of gaming is FUN, and in that respect, Rock Band has it ALL over GH. Harmonix rules!
    ETA: Forgive me, but I feel compelled to point out that it's spelled Peart. Couldn't. Just. STFU about it. :

  6. They need to meke a game called "We're Getting the Band Back Together" wherein you play as the plucky protagonist with ironic sideburns who must find and reunite his lost bandmates to play one last gig for a dying child. Along they way you must detox the drummer, battle your lead guitarist's demonic girlfriend ("she's changed you man, you used to know how to rock!"), and learn the true meaning of Christmas. Learning the true meaning of Christmas unlocks the bonus "Keytar Hero" minigame.

  7. Well, that sorta blows…

    Still, I'd rather see something get more complicated than be dumbed down. (See nearly every FPS game since Halo.)

  8. I would cut off my dick to make Keytar Hero a reality.*

    *provided, of course, that the off-cutting of my dick can be demonstrably proven to be the reason Keytar Hero gets made. If they announce it tomorrow, don't come to me demanding that I cut off my dick without some sort of written proof.

    Notarized, of course.

  9. Rock Band is the limit I'm going with the music game genre. I spent my $170 and that's all I plan on spending for a few years. I don't care if Activision or EA starts giving out free sex with their games. I've spent too much to be a Fischer Price Rock Star and enough is enough.

  10. When I told my dad I was playing Rock Band, and then had to explain what it was to him, and then had to explain that my husband and I had been up playing overnight, he gave me a real acoustic guitar. It sits in the corner mocking me.

    I strongly suspect that my father doesn't understand his 38 year old daughter's need to rock in a virtual environment.

    I didn't even try to explain the drums.

  11. There has a be a balance. It can get "bigger" without getting "10X harder." Look at the Burnout Series. Burnout 3 was a perfect video game. They took everything I loved about it and completely ruined it for the followup (which wasnt a full sequel I guess).

  12. How about Guitar Hero Hero? You have to play in time with some nerd playing Guitar Hero. There's only one button and no strum.

  13. If Activision is smart this will be the last big set they release for a while. Same goes for EA though from all I've heard if you bought the $170 Rock Band set already you're set because all they're releasing this year is another game disc with more songs and updated features and modes.

  14. Uh-oh… I have some tight-fitting low-rise boot-cut jeans a LiveJournal AND a black eyeliner pencil (which I swear was left over from Halloween).

    Are you there, Emo-God? It's me, Morbid.

  15. I just realized that this whole "fuck reality in games" mantra could be construed by the cheesers in sports games as a complete raison d'etre. Wouldn't the hardcore Madden fanboys love that. 😀

  16. I guess I'm from the wrong generation, I told my dad I was addicted to pong in 1976. He bought me a plank attached to two rollerskates 🙁 .

  17. I mean, to an extend added complications make the game more realistic but I dont think the game will get as complicated as the prediction made here

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