Don’t Be That Guy

UPDATE: There’s now a shirt inspired by this comic in the HE Store!

Grammar Dalek Shirt by HijiNKS ENSUE

Did you know I have published two books of my comics containing NEW COMMENTARY for absolutely every comic, embarrassing stuff I drew in middle school and high school, and LOTS more extras that have never been published online? Well, I did and I’m really proud of them and they have funny names and I think you should buy them.

I am going to be at Calgary Expo this coming weekend with Blind Ferret at booths 925/1025! MORE INFO HERE.

GAHHH! Stop being such a Grammar Dalek! (Yes, you should probably start using this phrase in daily life.)

I made this comic almost entirely on my iPad in the PHX airport during a layover on my way to Calgary. Some of the template and text layout was done ahead of time in Photoshop, and some of the mistakes will probably be cleared up in Photoshop after I get back, but I don’t feel at all bad about being proud of what I was able to accomplish on zero hours sleep with a tablet and a stylus sitting at an airport Burger King. The app I used was ProCreate and the styli were the Adonit Jot Pro and the Wacom Bamboo. A word of warning to would be iPad artists, I had to start using a screen protector with the Adonit Jot to prevent (additional) scratches on the screen. The good news is the recently released Zagg Invisible Sheld HD is a MUCH better screen protector than their previous versions. Very smooth, glass-like surface with little to no texture and far less friction. I also took a Fancy Bastard suggestion and used an app called Photogene to resize the comic and I was pleasantly surprised to see that it will resize, rename and upload straight to my server via FTP.

So there’s a bunch of stuff about apps and whatever. Super funny haha entertaining, right? I haven’t slept since Tuesday night and facts are the only things my brain can process. The sky is up, the rest is down and the harvest approacheth. The time of the Bloodwolves is upon us and only the cunning and the swift will be spared in the flesh reaping. These are all facts. I am so tired. Come buy my stuff in Calgary. All the commercials here are for stores and things I have never heard of. What are Rogers and Shaw and what is a Honda Civic?

COMMENTERS: Feel free to come up with your best Grammar Dalek lines.

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47 Comments

  1. Based on the manner of entrance, was this the Grammar Dalek or the Kool-Aid Dalek?

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    • They both reproduced.

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  2. Um, I think the alt-text means to read that "'conjugation' refers to verbs". Sorry to be a Grammar Dalek.

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    • CONJUGATE THE VERB! CONJUGATE! CONJUGATE!

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  3. If you'd waited a few minutes, you'd have had another awesome topic to cartoon. Hint. Hint. Oh well, I guess we'll have to wait until Monday for the Incredible Defeat of the Evil Fox Executive. (SPOILER: THEY RENEWED FRINGE)

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    • Are you…. serious? EFE, what's happening? are you trying to pull something?

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      • Well, they did only renew it for one more season, and that season is only going to be twelve episodes, but yeah, it's been renewed.

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  4. I will defend the correct usages of "fewer" and "less" until the day I die.

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  5. ANYONE NOT USING AN OXFORD COMMA WILL BE EXTERMINATED. EXTERMINATED!

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    • Except the MLA just nixed Oxford Commas, and AP style got rid of them a long time ago.

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  6. I won't be that guy, but can I be that gal? I'm pretty sure as a copy editor, I ought to place a certain amount of importance in the correct usage of the English language. >.>

    *cough*

    "So they were giving directions to him and I…" "HIM AND ME! HIM AND MEEEE! THE OVERCORRECTION OF 'ME' TO 'I' IS FAR MORE ANNOYING THAT THE STANDARD MISUSE OF THOSE TWO WORDS! CORRECT YOUR PRONOUNS! CORRECT! CORREEEECCTTT!" *Doctor Who theme plays*

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    • It could be that 'and' was being used to combine two sentences, and if he realized that, he would have exploded. The one flaw of Grammar Dalek: He must hear the whole sentence before he can pass judgment upon his victim.
      Oh, and I would have ended the sentence like this: "…told them to follow the yellow brick road."

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      • "He must hear the whole sentence before he can pass judgment upon his victim."

        Grammar Dalek must REALLY hate German, then.

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  7. Oh my god, please please please let the grammar Dalek be a real thing. So many people need to be exterminated!

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  8. I just want to thank you for coming up with a suitable alternative to "grammar Nazi" that doesn't make light of the atrocities committed during WWII and the Holocaust. I actually stopped correcting people's grammar because I didn't want to be called a Nazi. Now I can go right back to ensuring the correct usage of pronouns and just be a grammar dalek!

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  9. Rogers is the owner of Yahoo and half the cable/internet services. Think Comcast but with AT&T's service.
    Shaw is a Rogers wannabe. Think Cablevision but with Comcast's service.

    A Honda Civic is a Volkswagen Jetta with a Japanese accent.

    Oops, your from Texas. A Honda Civic is a metric Toyota Corolla.

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    • FOOLISH HUMAN! IT IS "YOU'RE," AS IN "YOU'RE GOING TO BE EXTERRRRMINATED!"

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  10. I bet you that grammar Dalek doesn't own an iPhone. Nor does he approve of LOL cats. NOOOOO! IT IS 'MAY I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER' INSOLENT FUR-CREATURES! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!

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    • PUNC-TU-ATE! PUNC-TU-ATE! QUESTIONS REQUIRE A QUESTION MARK!

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      • Crap. I just got told by a Grammar Dalek. I guess that being a Dalek is worse than being a Nazi… Ya know, being that they have the ultimate tools of obliteration, can only feel hatred, but the Nazis had their rocket designs. And fascist ideas of how the world should bow down to them.
        Also, I am enjoying this particular topic sooooo much.

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      • Also, I was speaking, so I wouldn't use a question mark in the middle of a sentence.

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  11. other people have made similar jokes (there is a parody of eats shoots and leaves called doctor whom,) but i like this execution better. nice job on the spoiler-free cabin in the woods comic.

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  12. I'm just excited about the inevitable showdown between the Grammar Dalek and the Cyber-LOL-Man.

    "You can haz upgrade."
    "UNACCEPTABLE! YOU WILL BE DESTROYED!"
    "Do not want! Do not want!."

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    • …god help me, but I actually want that to be a thing.

      I actually want to see that now. Curse you!

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  13. Really hoping they leave Rory alive and kill off Amy for the Ponds last episode. God I hate her so much. I feel shame in being named Amy because of her.

    Also, I had an image of a Grammar Dalek looking at a run-on paragraph and saying "PUNCTUATE" instead of Exterminate.

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    • Really? I prefer her to Martha Jones(not bad, but totally in love with the Doctor, right after Rose….lame), Donna(irritating), and River Song (very irritating).

      Could be worse, you could have the same name as the whiny star of Grey's Anatomy.

      Puntuate! Brillant!

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      • Actually, I loved Donna. She was probably my favorite companion out of all of them. Martha wasn't bad, and I hope they never ever show River Song ever again.

        Mostly, I hate Amy because (IMO), she treats Rory like trash and yet he still blindly loves her. I also just find her personality extremely grating.

        Never watched Grey's Anatomy. I am aware of its existence… but that's about it.

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        • You know what? Ace… and her Nitro-9.

          Showing my age a bit.
          I like that thief from one of the specials the best. Of course she couldn't be a long term companion!
          =D

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  14. Oops, typo. Punctuate!

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  15. E-NUN-CI-ATE!!! E-NUN-CI-ATE!!! E-NUN-CI-ATE!!!

    I think a Grammer Cyberman would work better. "Your misspellings will be deleted. Delete. Delete!"

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  16. Grammar Dalek is the new Grammar Nazi.

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    • Noooooo….. You don't say? Kidding, but let's all try to make this a thing.

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  17. I can't see a Dalek anymore without thinking "BLORGON!"

    Community, anyone?… No? :)

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    • Totally.

      6 seasons and a movie!!!!

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    • Blogon for bringing this up, good chap.

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      • tut tut m'lord, wouldn't give you tuppence for that sticky wicket

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  18. Would free-verse poetry destroy all Grammar Daleks and Punctuation Daleks?

    I mean… it should. It causes ME serious bodily harm.
    I would imagine the Grammar Dalek episode of Dr. Who ending with the Doctor, Amy, River, Rory and whoever else is there all reading free verse aloud from a multitude of different free verse poetry books.
    But it would look pretty and not be pretentious at all, of course.

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  19. I think that was the Fox News Cybermen comment up there somewhere… this type eats gold. Not sure why free verse would upset the Grammar Daleks, but it might get to the Prosody Sontarans.
    (I'm emailing from Sky Harbor but no cartooning)…

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  20. If you freeze-frame when the Grammar-Dalek is firing his death ray, you'll notice that the bolts are just the squiggly green underline used by word processors to indicate grammatical errors.

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  21. Doctor Who causes me to feel emotions I cannot ever hope to explain, and most of the Hijinks Ensue comics about it have nearly the same effect. I absolutely adore this. Grammar Dalek is a thing that a lot of people have probably contemplated, but this execution is hilarious. And HE always has such amusing commenters. That is, in my opinion, the best way to judge the quality of a site.

    Also, I beg you from the depths of my heart to make a "Grammar Dalek" shirt. I know you must get about 11 million requests for shirts, but this one could aid in the process of replacing "Grammar Nazi" in the vernacular. Grammar Daleks are, after all, superior.

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    • I agree with all of the above statements. HE wouldn't be as funny had it not a comment feature for each comic. I enjoy reading the comments, and thumb-up most of them. Also, Daleks are superior to all forms of Nazis.

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      • The rise of the HE comments was essentially the death of the HE forum. Each comic is basically a new topic for discussion so there was no need for Fancy Bastards to have to post in two different places. I'm all for it. Forums are a bit of a thing of the past anyway and the comments certainly allow the Fancy Bastard community to keep in touch and have discourse with each other.

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    • A Grammar Dalek shirt is probably a thing I am working on.

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  22. OK, someone needs to make a GIF for the Grammar Dalek. I NEED it.

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  23. With all these Dalek sayings in these comments some of you may actually like "The Daily Dalek" over at http://www.tonecartoons.co.uk/blog/ – just a thought.

    I don't have any affiliation to the site. It is just something I ran across a while back. :)

    Reply

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