Doctor, It Hurts When You Do This.

Doctor, It Hurts When You Do This.

Update 09-03-14: I am frantically trying to update/backdate new comics so there are 4 a week for every week since I got back from Toronto. Teaching kids to deal with and even anticipate disappointment is tough. Teaching them that certain humans called “Genre Fiction Showrunners” revel in building up their hopes, just to dash them against the bloody rocks is nearly impossible. Children want to believe people are basically good, but they lack the experience and emotional sophistication to comprehend that many showrunners often are not… people, that is. My Patrons can see the original last panel to this comic with completely different dialog and a different ending [HERE].  My wife and I will often carry on these deep, philosophical and analytical conversations about the worlds our kid’s shows take place in. Curious George is a frequent puzzler for us. George occupies a universe where no one takes issue with a man raising an ape (no tail = not a monkey) as a child. They can all understand him when he “talks” and they almost always leave him in charge of their stores, restaurants, human children, dumptrucks, air traffic control stations, etc. when the opportunity presents itself. The other, almost MORE crazy, thing people in George’s world do is give him stuff to deliver. “Oh hey, George the animal ape! Can you take this pie to Mrs. Stevens on Elmhurst St. She’s in the Parker building between 5th and 6th in apartment 14b. You got all that, George? George the naked ape? Can you be trusted to take her this food, and to NOT put your feces covered paws all...
After Con Special

After Con Special

Update 09-03-14: I am frantically trying to update/backdate new comics so there are 4 a week for every week since I got back from Toronto. Inevitably, I always miss something important when I’m out of town. I missed my daughter’s first day of kindergarten while I was away at a convention. I left a day early so I wouldn’t miss it, but Delta flat out lied to an entire plane full of people who had connecting flights and told us even though our first plane arrive 45 minutes late we would all still make our connections. Spoilers: Zero people made their connections, and because so many people were affected by the lie, they decided to help NONE of us. So Delta lost a customer for life, and I lost a once in a lifetime opportunity to be there for my kid when she needed me. Of course, first days of school are one thing. New Doctors are another thing all together. I’m not sure how I feel about Capaldi yet. I don’t know if I not warming up to HIM, or to he AND CLARA, or just to Clara in general. I feel like her story was complete when The Doctor found out what “the impossible girl” really was. It felt like a complete arch, and now it feels like she just forgot to leave or die or get trapped in an alternate reality or whatever it is most companions do at the end of their adventures. There are separate rumors that Clara, Capaldi and/or Moffat will be leaving after this series. I‘d be more likely to believe Clara and Moffat...
Denver Comic Con 2014 Fancy Sketches

Denver Comic Con 2014 Fancy Sketches

Dearest Fancy Bastards, if you enjoy this comic, please check out my store, my shirts on Sharksplode, and my wife’s geeky jewelry on Etsy. It would help us out a great deal. Thanks for coming out to see me in Denver last weekend (even though you were actually there to see Cyanide & Happiness). Here are some of the hundreds of sketches we drew for various enthusiastic Denverites. These are probably THE ONLY sketches from the entire weekend that didn’t involve graphic nudity, intense and disturbing sexual imagery, horrific violence and just a ton of boners and ass blood. It was that kind of weekend. Fancy Patrons: We are less than $50 away from unlocking more comics per week! Tags: alien, aliens, aquaman, batman, david willis, dc comics, denver comic con, doctor who, firefly, serenity, sketch, star wars, superman, the...
Emerald City Comicon 2014 Fancy Sketches

Emerald City Comicon 2014 Fancy Sketches

Oh sweet merciful crapbastards, Seattle, you are always so good to me. I am on an airplane (the kind in the sky) right now, so please enjoy these convention sketches in lieu of a comic update today. I had an amazing time with my wonderful friends and was, once again, showered with generosity from the Pacific Northwest Fancy Bastards. If you would like to see some of what I was up to this weekend, please check my twitter feed for #ECCC and #ECCC2014. See you next year, Emerald City! Oh, and I ran out of most of my prints early on Sunday. If you weren’t able to get the HE print you wanted at the show, you can always get prints and posters in The HE Store.    Tags: adventure time, batman, centaurs, cybermen, doctor who, emerald city comicon, frozen, mr. freeze, sketch, sketch comics, star wars, the big bang theory, the never-ending story, will...
The Face Of D’oh!

The Face Of D’oh!

As you determine where to spend your hard earned monies this holiday season, might I suggest these fine establishments? The HijiNKS ENSUE Store: Books, Prints, Posters, T-Shirts and more by yours truly! Sharksplode: Geeky T-Shirts by me and Wil Wheaton, made to order! Science & Fiction: My wife’s Etsy shop full of fantastically geeky jewelry! Emily Watson Photography: Give a loved one a beautifully restored photo to remind them of how live used to not be so burned, torn and sepia toned. If you want to support HijiNKS ENSUE for the holidays, but hate capitalism then perhaps you would enjoy GIVING A DONATION or purchasing sometime on my Amazon Wishlist? All of those ideas sound terrible? Then how about a digital highfive via Twitter or email? Comments (45) Dashboard | Edit profile | Logout Logged in as hijinksensue Admin Options @sandchigger · 81 weeks ago “You must rank the Star Trek captains from ‘best to Janeway'” got me. Block IPDelete Reply 1 reply · active 81 weeks ago yaluckyboy · 81 weeks ago “answer three trivia questions about My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic” got me Block IPDelete Reply Bill· 81 weeks ago “[Y]ou must rank the Star Trek Captains from ‘best to Janeway’.” Oh, so it’s best, bester, bestest, bestester, Janeway? Sounds good to me. Block IPDelete Reply 7 replies · active 80 weeks ago hijinksensue· 81 weeks ago You monster. Delete Reply @jeffrotull · 81 weeks ago Can we rank them “best to New Kirk” instead? Block IPDelete Reply gabepuratekuta· 81 weeks ago There is no New Kirk. That would imply there was a new Star Trek after “Of Gods and Men” Block IPDelete Reply lou · 81 weeks ago What I took from this is Archer is...
Toronto Fan Expo 2013 Fancy Sketches

Toronto Fan Expo 2013 Fancy Sketches

Soory I had a good time in Toronto, eh? I accomplished all of my goals. I attended Fan Expo and spoke to some nice northern Fancy Bastards, I ate 100% of Toronto’s meat supply at Korean Grill House (my actual favorite restaurant in all of the world), I wrote a musical about meat during that meal (much to the chagrin of my co-dining cartoonist friends), and I attended the Banana Bar Crawl (more on that in a second). Big big thanks to Andrew of I Am ARG and Paul “Leftovers” Westover for hosting me for my Canadian Weekend. Additional thanks to the all the Torontonian(?) Fancy Bastards who came out to say hi and to the Cyanide and Happiness fans that I did sketches for. Here are a few more things I drew at Fan Expo: A couple of D&D characters, a fractal penis (probably too sexy for work) and a photo comic I made this morning about David Willis on my phone from a plane that was trying to take off. About that Banana Bar Crawl… I REALLY don’t like bar crawls. I like nice quiet evenings with friends. If we find a good bar with a good atmosphere and a good volume level, I like to stay there until everyone has drank 100 drinks, laughed 1000 laughs and fallen down into a pile on the floor which has to be pushed into the gutter with a large-ish broom. The Cyanide and Happiness fellows have been trying to drag me to the annual Dallas Banana Bar Crawl for years. Since they decided to have on in Toronto, and seeing...
J’accuse!

J’accuse!

I will be at Fan Expo Canada in Toronto this weekend with Blind Ferret and Randy Milholland of of Something*Positive. I will be at booth #844. More info HERE. Sorry for the lack of comics last week. School starts for Kiddo next week, so last week I took my family on a road trip to San Antonio. Kiddo’s never really had a proper vacation, so spending some family time together before she’s only with us a few hours a day for 9 months was important. I brought the Surface Pro and managed to get one come and one Lofi done, but Sea World kicked my ass. The drive from San Antonio to Austin, a little rest, then the follow up drive back to Dallas wiped me out. The good news is I have 3 comics and 2 Lofi’s ready to go for this week. Please to enjoy the continuation of this storyline. In the same way sports fans act like their choice of shirts, caps and foam fingers influence the outcome of the game, we geeks (many of whom ARE actually sports fans… weird…) do tend to internalize the stories, characters and fates of our favorite shows. Geekery is rarely a passive act. Our curse is that we typically seek an active roll in the outcome of events that we can’t actually hope to influence. To satiate this need to participate we often seek to expand the universes of the things we love into new directions, new activities and new sub-fandoms that we can actually have an effect on. I firmly believe this need arrises from equal parts love and selfishness. Or perhaps...
Passive. Aggressive.

Passive. Aggressive.

The HijiNKS ENSUE Store is all new looking and such, and all ladies shirts are $5 off!   I have dreamed a dream, but now that dream is gone from me. It’s hard not to take it personally when you have such a specific plan for your favorite geeky movie or show and it seems like Hollywood or the BBC or the Universe in general just isn’t paying attention to that plan. It’s even worse when you find out how close the Universe’s plan was to your own. It’s worse when you find out out you could have had it all.  COMMENTERS: When I was a kid we were rarely privy to information such as casting rumors. Hell, we were rarely privy to information at all by today’s standards. What ill-fated casting rumor did you most hope was true? What geeky movie or show suffered from the worst casting? The best?  The 2013 DIGITAL FANCY SKETCH DRIVE is still going through the end of next week! Check out the details and order yours HERE. MY WIFE KEEPS MAKING AWESOME STUFF! My wife has also started making super cool, ultra geeky jewelry on Etsy. You can see her Tetris necklace and more geeky creations in her shop, but she just announced her Harry Potter inspired Quidditch necklace. Check out dat Quaffle!   Comments (75) Dashboard | Edit profile | Logout Logged in as hijinksensue Admin Options @MandarbZA · 96 weeks ago Wondering what “Let Moffat” can translate to. “Let shit happen”? “what will be will be”? I don’t really worry about who get’s cast, usually willing to see what an actor can bring to a character, even if they’re not the usual choice. Dr Who...
A Doctor’s Dozen

A Doctor’s Dozen

The HijiNKS ENSUE Store is all new looking and such, and all ladies shirts are $5 off!  It’s hard to mature and mellow out about nitpicky geek stuff (like who’s playing “Who”), and just let events unfold naturally when you’ve publicly voiced so many INCREDIBLY SPECIFIC AND EXTREMELY IMPORTANT OPINIONS about such things in the past. Oh well. I guess I’m the boy who cried LOUD TV OPINIONS. This starts our latest mini storyline where Joel explores whether you can just be a fan and trust geek creators to do their jobs, or if geekdom requires fan intervention to function. COMMENTERS: We’ll be dancing around this idea over the next 3 or 4 strips, but I’ll go ahead pose the question: Do you feel like you need to be an active participant in your geekeries of choice, or are you happy being a passive observer? The 2013 DIGITAL FANCY SKETCH DRIVE is still going! Check out the details and order yours HERE. MY WIFE KEEPS MAKING AWESOME STUFF! In addition to having her own photo restoration business, my wife has also started making super cool, ultra geeky jewelry on Etsy. You can see her Tetris necklace and more geeky creations in her shop, but she just announced her Harry Potter inspired Quidditch necklace. Look at those bludgers!  Comments (41) Dashboard | Edit profile | Logout Logged in as hijinksensue Admin Options theragingcelt· 97 weeks ago You know when I first saw an interview with Matt Smith, I thought, “he’s too young and he cuts his hair like like he’s fronting a “Flock of Seagulls” tribute band. He’s going to be awful.” As history proved, I was wrong. I’m willing to...
Conclave

Conclave

Apparently my finger is squarely on the twin pulses of the 12th Doctor casting situation, because when I stared into the untempered Vortex and asked myself who the next Doctor should be the very first name that came to mind was the unpronouncable one belonging to Chiwetel Ejiofor (CAUTION: His name is a killing word). So is this how we’re doing things now? I just DECIDE on the ways in which I want the universe to be awesome and the pieces all start to fall into place like so much reverse JENGA? I am 100% OK with this. I have a store where I sell books and shirts. If you buy that stuff I can pay my mortgage and feed my family like a regular dude with a real job. It was probably right around the moment someone said, “Hey, maybe not a lanky white dude for The Doctor this time?” that C.E.’s intensely impressive talent, range and ability to say something softly, calmly and so terrifyingly serious that you know he means business and is NOT to be trifled with began to stick in my brain as a potential successor to the Sonic Screwdriver. Imagine the simple, calculated and honest way The Operative from Serenity explained to people how they had failed to meet his expectations and exactly how they were going to die… now apply that same badassery and emotional weight to a “Doctor speech.” That shit is chilling. I want that in the blue box. How badass would it be if A) he was cast as the Doctor and B) a few years from now they just go...
Phoenix Comicon 2013 Fancy Sketches Part 2

Phoenix Comicon 2013 Fancy Sketches Part 2

Go to my store. I promise there is something there you will enjoy owning. In turn, I will enjoy owning your money. Hey hey! It’s part 2 in my 2 part series of 2 sets of Fancy Sketches from 1 Phoenix Comicon! This set indirectly stars my friend John Scalzi, who is known for his best selling sci-fi novels, his love of churros and his crippling addiction to Coke Zero. I defaced his booth sign along with some other dudes for reasons. He made this face when he saw it.   COMMENTERS: Your favorite author has just become a giant robot. Who is it, are they good or evil and (regardless) do they fight Godzilla? Comments (31) Dashboard | Edit profile | Logout Logged in as hijinksensue Admin Options Carl· 107 weeks ago Cool art. Wish I could have hit Phoenix. oh, and FYI. Your site seems to have weird pop-up boxes that glide across the screen, and block your artwork. You may want to punch one of your ad-servers. Block IPDelete Reply Titmouse · 107 weeks ago George R.R. Martin…. so hes pretty evil and just kills everone you love just as you really start to think everything is going to be fine!! Block IPDelete Reply Nakari · 107 weeks ago H.P Lovecraft. He’d probably be evil by modern standards. He would fight Godzilla, after taking down the Dutch. Man really hated the Dutch. Block IPDelete Reply Teri · 107 weeks ago Philip k Dick ‘bot would probably be good, and he’d eventually figure out that Godzilla is a robot. Then he and Jasper Ffordebot will open a portal into the Southland Tales universe. The Mark Z Danielewskidroid would be the...
Phoenix Comicon 2013 Fancy Sketches Part 1

Phoenix Comicon 2013 Fancy Sketches Part 1

The Phoenix Phancy Bastards had some excellent sketch requests this year. Here’s part 1 of a 2 part collection of my favorites. Looks like Gallifrey Comicon might not be too far away since we just discovered Gallifrey. COMMENTERS: Speaking of Gallifrey Comicon, in what fictional geek genre place would you like to see a comic convention held? What are the panels, the events, etc? Who are the speakers? Comments (14) Dashboard | Edit profile | Logout Logged in as hijinksensue Admin Options hijinksensue· 107 weeks ago If anyone wants the original Josh “Powergirl” black and white art, it’s for sale. $30 shipped in the USA. Delete Reply 4 replies · active 107 weeks ago Scott · 107 weeks ago I’d love to get the Josh Powergirl piece. How to get it? Block IPDelete Reply hijinksensue· 107 weeks ago Paypal $30 (if you’re in the US) to store at hijinksensue dot com and include your mailing address. Also let me know if I should sign it to anyone. -Joel Delete Reply Scott · 107 weeks ago Will do, thanks Block IPDelete Reply Scott · 107 weeks ago I don’t see a direct link form that piece, so will “donate” $30 and mention inthe comments what it’s for and where to send it. Thanks! Block IPDelete Reply Bryce · 107 weeks ago Moria could be an epic convention hall once they cleaned the place up. Block IPDelete Reply Adwxxx · 107 weeks ago PODCAST PLEASE! Block IPDelete Reply lou · 107 weeks ago I can see Coruscant hosting a Con, since a planet-covering city just HAS to have a totally bitching convention center. Then again, organizing something that size would be a nightmare. Block IPDelete Reply Candace · 107 weeks ago Love the Captain Jacks and...
Avert Your Eyes

Avert Your Eyes

True story. Two true stories, actually, and both come from this year’s Calgary Expo. I did see John Barrowman  (Doctor Who, Arrow, the concept of human beauty, etc) at the Calgary Airport, and I DID lose one of my senses. It wasn’t my sight, however. Instead I lost the power to make words come out of my face in an order and at a cadence or volume that another human being could interpret as speech. I said something like, “Mr. Barrowmaaaghhhh I GLAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHBBZZZZZZZZhurflhurfldurfl.” I’m sure he’s had enough practice at this point to know exactly what I meant. Something along the lines of, “You’re a neat guy who I like to see on my tv. Good job. Also, very pretty. Good that too.” Even with a month of reflection I still can’t make it eloquent. The other true part of this story is the eclipse box part, which is the advice I gave to Wil when he was struck dumb by the fact that Lena Headey kept talking to him… ON PURPOSE, and putting her hands on his shoulders… ON PURPOSE and not throwing fire at his face… ON PURPOSE! She’s a very talented and very pretty lady, is the point we were examining. PHOENIX COMICON BOOTH LOCATION CHANGE!!! David and I will be at booth 243, NOT 1749 and NOT by the LEGOs. Come in the main entrance, hang a left and head to the back corner. COME SEE ME AND DAVID IN PHOENIX, APRIL 23-26! BOOTH 1749 way in the back by the LEGOs! BOOTH 243! More details HERE.  COMMENTERS: Have you ever had a chance encounter with a celebrity or someone you admired? Did...
Emerald City Comicon 2013 Fancy Sketches

Emerald City Comicon 2013 Fancy Sketches

Despite being sick with a cold and feeling like a burlap sack full of gravel and crap all weekend, Emerald City Comicon was still (as always) a fantastically fun and rewarding experience. Any other show and I might have let my illness dampen my spirits but the organizers and attendees of ECCC shine in every way that make a convention great. I cannot stress enough that THIS is the show you need to be saving up for and traveling to from out of state. It’s gotten bigger and better every year and shows no signs of stopping. I did my very best not infect my fellow cartoonists and the attendees with my virus, but I expect that the CDC will eventually identify me as Patient Zero in what will come to be known as “The Plague of Nations.” Totes sorry, guys LOL. #yolo COMMENTERS: Have you ever had a trip, event or highly anticipated whatever sidelined by illness? Did you stay home and rest like a sensible human or did you go, stay out until 4am every night partying like a monster then put yourself in contact with 1000’s of people every day like an even bigger monster? Who does that? Tags: boxcar pete, doctor who, downton abbey, emerald city comicon, jack ryan, movies, sketch comics, sparks mcgee, star wars, the walking dead, wil...
For Every Action There Is A Redaction

For Every Action There Is A Redaction

CRUISE FUNDRAISER UPDATE: 98/100 prints are sold!  Only 2 prints remain! I am expecting delivery of the prints any day now and they’ll start shipping as soon as they arrive. I made a new eBook/iBook! It’s called “Sorry I Ruined Your Book Vol. 1” and it has over 180 pages of HE book 1 preorder/artist edition sketches with commentary on every drawing! Donation subscribers get it free and it’s also available to anyone for a one time “pay what you like” donation. Welcome to my life in a 24 hour geek news cycle. I remember when I was a kid and we weren’t able to know ANYTHING about movies or tv shows until we saw the trailers or commercials. Even then the message was very carefully controlled by the studios and producers. The stars never went on Carson and dished on who they beat out for the role or how many times the show runner got fired. We just took our geek media as it was presented without the burden of behind the scenes knowledge. Often times, shows I liked would get cancelled and I wouldn’t even know until it just never came back the next season. You’d read a one sentence blurb about a new Batman or Superman movie in a Wizard Magazine, and then… nothing. No idea where it went or why it never materialized. Of course, the irony of it all is that NOW you can find the answers to all of those questions online. I know exactly why Nicholas Cage was never Tim Burton’s Man Of Steel. Honestly, I’m just grateful for that one. We, as geeks, dodged a Batman...
The Day After Yesterday

The Day After Yesterday

CRUISE FUNDRAISER [UPDATE 01/04/13]: 96/100 prints are sold and it would be great to sell that last few  remaining prints before the the cruise. I am also going to leave up the additional prints and print packs for sale until probably February in case you want to get in on that action. Prints are being ordered now and will hopefully start shipping by mid January. What Eli doesn’t realize is how thoughtful Josh was actually being with his power saw tossing experiment. Had Eli’s extra fingers been severed and had they grown back, everyone would be satisfied in the knowledge that they could go out and (at least for a couple of hours) pull some pretty sweet “fingers got chopped off” pranks. If they didn’t grow back, then Eli would have no fewer fingers than he had the day before. And trust me, he wasn’t stomping around yesterday all in a huff, lamenting his lack of additional digits. For guys like Joel and Josh who play guitar or piano, I bet the extra fingers are really filling in some gaps in the ol’ musical skill sets. Before man had five fingers, I’m sure the piano seemed like a cruel test left on Earth by ancient aliens in the late 80’s to frustrate humanity into early extinction. Dumb ancient aliens. Always leaving shit on planets for people to have incredibly stupid ideas about. I wonder if Juan Q. Zach survived. I mean he WAS at the epicenter of a worldwide BLOODQUAKE, and that’s not really the sort of thing you just shake off. Still, he seemed a resilient beast, and the most...
The Spiffiest Time And Space Man

The Spiffiest Time And Space Man

ME AND WIL MADE A NEW SHIRT HOLY CRAP I LOVE IT! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ THE QUICK NEWS ITEMS BELOW: FANCY SKETCHES: If you ordered a Fancy Sketch and haven’t received it, good news! It’s in the mail. All 120ish Fancy Sketches are out the door. The image above is adapted from one such sketch, in fact. The idea belongs to Fancy Bastard Ron M. I was so happy with how it turned out in the end I decided to digitally paint it and put it up for everyone to enjoy. CRUISE FUNDRAISER: About 40/100 prints are sold and I only have until Dec 15th to meet my goal of selling all 100. If you’ve got $35 bucks to spare and wouldn’t mind a couple of nice pieces of artwork for your home, maybe help me out why not? HOLIDAY SHIPPING: The cutoffs are coming up fast. Read more HERE. AUSTIN, TX FANCY BASTARDS: Webcomics Rampage is THIS WEEKEND! MORE INFO HERE. The guest list is stellar and it’s always a great deal of fun. Plus it’s free. C’mon! How can you argue with free fun surrounded by awkward webcomics creators?! COMMENTERS: The Doctor travels through space and time and several dimensions to visit your favorite comic strip characters from childhood. Which one is it and why? Why happens when he gets there? I bet if he goes to Apartment 3G, he finds out the whole apartment is a living phantasm that traps people inside and feeds on their misery. I mean, he’s always going to places like that and Apartment 3G sucks a hundred dump trucks full...
Rory Hears A Who And Hatches The Cube

Rory Hears A Who And Hatches The Cube

Do you want a freaking t-shirt of this comic?! I CAN HELP! Do you want a print instead? BINGO-BANGO!  This comic started as a Fancy Sketch Drive sketch request from Fancy Bastard Erin H. I posted the sketch on Twitter and TWITTER WENT UNSANE with favs and retweets. I contacted Erin and asked if she minded if I worked it up as a comic and shirt and she graciously obliged the use of her idea. I’m pretty happy with the outcome and I hope you enjoy it too. Thanks, Erin! STORE NEWS! Groverfield shirts are only $7.95!!! WHAT?! UPDATE: Crazy sale is over but they’re still on sale for $14.95 Grammar Dalek shirts are now available in Ladies sizes! Pretty much all HE shirts are back in stock size-wise! HE Books make EXCELLENT PRESENTS! In addition to the comics there are tons of extras and new commentary on every comic. HE Holiday Greeting Cards are a thing you can buy and then send!  COMMENTERS: What do you think is the most heartbreaking display of romance/affection/love in geek pop culture?  TWO new HE Podcasts last week!  Episode 93 and Episode 94 With Voice Actors Yuri Lowenthal and Tara Platt! Tags: bbc, books, doctor who, Dr. Seuss, rory williams, scifi, The Pandorica,...
The Perils Of Companionship

The Perils Of Companionship

Here are some things:  People have asked for a print or poster of the Sesame Street comic. You can click “Buy a Print” under any comic and get a very nice, high quality print mailed to you in regular or gigant-o-size. Here is a new Lofi Comic about doing my taxes. It’s funnier than it sounds. If you are going to NYCC, head over to booth 950 (Blind Ferret) and buy some of my stuff why not? Here is the most recent HE Podcast: Episode 90 “BONE TOKENS!”  Dallas Fan Days is next weekend and I am going to be there in the artist alley. Not in the main hall, but up on one of the higher floors (four, I think) where all the celeb panels are held. I will have books and shirts and sketches. Farewell, Amy and Rory. You were cute and ginger and stubborn and I liked you a lot. Go along, Ponds. COMMENTERS: How do you feel about the Pond’s exit? Spoilers are fine. It’s been a couple of weeks, right? DON’T READ THE COMMENTS OF YOU DON’T WANT SPOILERS!!!    Tags: amy pond, bbc, companions, doctor who, rory williams, scifi, the ponds,...
Predator Vs. Aliens

Predator Vs. Aliens

HijiNKS ENSUE PODCAST Episode 87 “ZombieWhatever.com” is live! COMMENTERS: Did you like the first two episodes of this season of Doctor Who? PLEASE NO SPOILERS IF YOU KNOW THE ACTUAL ANSWER TO THE NEXT QUESTION!!! How do you suppose they are going to work Oswin into being the new companion, seeing as how the same access plays them both? The companion’s name is Clara Oswin, so do you suppose she is a relative of Oswin’s? AGAIN NO ACTUAL SPOILERS, but how do would you like Rory and Amy to depart vs. how do you think they’re actually going to depart? I bet Amy gets turned into a Weeping Angel and Rory gets crushed between two stray planets. Also, feel free to make up your own Dalek Parent and Dalek Child dialog. “YOU MUST EXTERMINATE YOUR VEGETABLES BEFORE YOU HAVE ANY SWEETS! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!” Tags: bbc, daleks, doctor who, scifi,...
Toronto Fan Expo 2012 Fancy Sketches

Toronto Fan Expo 2012 Fancy Sketches

This weekend I’ll be at Dallas Animefest with Rob from Explosm. We’ll be in the dealer room, terrified of glomping cat-girls and Sailor Bubbas alike. I’ll have both HE Books, Prints, sketch cards, “Grammar Dalek” Shirts and “The Doctor Is In” shirts. This was my first Toronto Fan Expo, but my second time in Toronto. Once again, I found the city and it’s comic-loving citizens to be as kind as pleasant as the Canadian Constitution requires them to be under penalty of mild reprimand. I only had one goal for my weekend in Toronto, which was to dine once again at Korean Grill House. This is a restaurant where you are given a table that is on fire, tray after tray of raw meat, some tongs and ZERO instructions, guidance or supervision of any sort. It’s $10 all you can (m)eat, and I’m pretty sure it’s my favorite place in the world. I wondered if I was hyping it up to my friends too much, but after seeing them marvel at the quantity and quality of meats, the looks of childlike wonder at the thought of throwing said meats into a flaming grill that was built into the table, and their amazement as we elected to reward ourselves for consuming our own weights in meat with celebratory milkshakes, I knew that I was significantly UNDERhyping the fantastical nature of this (m)eatery. If you are visiting Toronto, there is a KGH on Bloor and another on Queens. The service is terrible, the staff is incredibly uninterested in bringing you more lukewarm soda, and the bathroom was unusable, so please take all of that into consideration when I STILL DEMAND...

Grammar Dalek Shirts Plus New Fighting Time Lords Shirts!

GRAMMAR DALEK SHIRTS ARE HERE!  The preorder starts today. There is also a new version of the Fighting Time Lords shirt (created by me and Wil Wheaton) up for preorder. It is moving from Sharksplode to my Blind Ferret store so that we’ll be able to bring them to conventions (something fans have been asking about for a long time). The preorders will determine how many of these shirts get made, so if you’ve been wanting either one please place your order in the next few days. If the preorder goes well, I should be able to have these shirts at my next couple of conventions rather than waiting until next year to take them on the road. I also wanted to remind you that there are 5 HE shirts that likely won’t be printed again and are selling for only $12.95. Several sizes of each are already selling out. If you want one of these, now is a great time to get it since we need to make room for the new designs. Thanks! ~Joel   Tags: doctor who, fighting time lords, grammar dalek, merch, news, store,...
SDCC 2012 Fancy Sketches

SDCC 2012 Fancy Sketches

I am still recuperating from SDCC. I will resume drawing Fancy Sketch Drive sketches this week, and start mailing them out as they are finished. There were almost 60 ordered so it’s going to take me a while. I appreciate your patience. I have a guest comic up at Cyanide and Happiness for my explosm bros (exBROsm, amirite?), who are also sleeping off one too many a San Diego fun time. Grammar Dalek Shirts should be going on presale soon. Stay tuned for ordering info. I had an amazing time in San Deiego, but I spent almost no time on the convention floor itself. Normally I am at the booth from open to close every day, but our limited booth space meant that most of the time I was just in the way. And when I made scheduled signing/sketching times, no one really showed up. It was a very odd convention this year and all of my cartoonist friends seemed to echo the same sentiments. People just weren’t visiting their favorite creators very much this year. I think either A) the show has finally tipped and there are only a small percentage of con attendees who are actually there to meet and buy stuff from comics creators (the rest are their for panels or other big media events) or B) There is so much off site and ancillary entertainment outside and around the convention itself, that most fans are going to the actual show maybe 1 or 2 days to see panels, then exploring the other (free-er) events surrounding the con. For all of these reasons, I spent most of the weekend hanging out with friends,...
Phoenix Comicon 2012 Fancy Sketches

Phoenix Comicon 2012 Fancy Sketches

Once again Phoenix Comicon was a fantastic success. Next to Emerald City in Seattle, it is my second favorite US show. Thank you to everyone that came out and got a t-shirt, a book, a sketch or just said hi. The Phoenix Phancy Bastards (fancy withe a PH) also REALLY came through with the baked goods, caffeinated goods and beboozed goods. I was able to get David terribly drunk off of too many tiny bottles of Jack (which is a necessity since he’s at least twice as much fun when he’s hammered). In addition to my comicing bros, I usually get to run around with the entire Wheaton family at Phoenix. This year was no exception, and shenanigans’o plenty (which is my Dropkick Murphys cover band) were had. Wil and I (along with Blind Ferret) debuted the prototype of the Wil Wheaton plushie we’ve been working on since ohhhhh… around the time of this comic dare. It’s been almost a year in development, but we are all very proud of the final result. They’ll be going on preorder in a week or so and a good preorder means we get to make enough to NOT have to reorder before the holidays (reordering means months of time waiting for chinese shipping crates to arrive on boats). I hope you guys dig the plush and consider picking one up during the preorder. They’ll be $20 and you are fully encouraged to knit space sweaters and clown sweaters for them. HEY! I started a Facebook group for Fancy Bastards to share ideas, get support and be a community of geeks and weirdos. Godspeed, You Fancy Bastards! Tags: aquaman,...
Dallas Comic Con 2012 Fancy Sketches

Dallas Comic Con 2012 Fancy Sketches

Dallas Comic Con and I have always been at odds. I resent it for being so close to my home and yet such a poorly organized, terribly mismanaged convention, and it resents me for being alive apparently. Don’t get me wrong, all of the fans I talked to (all half-dozen of them) were quite kind and wonderful. But I spent a day away from my family, paid for a table and sat there for 8 hours for basically no reason. I’m sorry, Dallas. You must have done something VERY wrong, because you don’g get a good con. [I wrote a GIANT post about why this con was an incredible disaster, but I realize it was a bit of downer so I moved it to this TUMBLR post.] Major thanks to all of you Fancy Bastards that have started donation subscriptions since I added the new $2, $3 and $4 monthly levels. There is a now a premium RSS feed just for subscribers that has the full comic in the feed. You’ll get an email with a link when you sign up. If you have already signed up, you’ll be getting an email this week. When I told you all that I was rethinking what I was doing with HE, I opened myself up to a lot of criticism. A lot of it was constructive, and a lot of it was painful to take in (because it was true). Still some of it was painful just because a few of you took my self evaluation as an invitation to let me know how badly I’ve been fucking up for the past year or...
Calgary Expo 2012 Fancy Photo Comic Part 2

Calgary Expo 2012 Fancy Photo Comic Part 2

Guys, I fully understand that we ARE going to be destroyed by a terror from beyond the stars. I’m OK with that. All I ask is that our destroyer be a cutey-wooty snuggley button of doom. I feel like it’s a reasonable request. Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made this “Fighting Time Lords” shirt for you! These furthering adventures from Calgary Expo feature The Blind Ferret crew, specifically the be-balded, be-capped, be-lightsabered and ever be-Red Bulled Mr. Sohmer.  Exhibiting with these guys is exactly as much fun as it appears to be. Take that… however you will. One of these days you will probably get to see some of our adventures in full motion complete with audio and additional motion and probably some editing, since Will has been filming us since Emerald City ComiCon. I don’t know when or how the show/documentary/series/??? is going to be released, but from what I’ve seen so far I am in it. So that should be enough, right? I hear the pilot is coming along nicely and I’m sure they will make an official announcement when it’s ready for public consumption. COMMENTERS: What’s the best geeky baby/kid costume you’ve ever seen? Ever make one for your own kids, or had one made for you as a kid? My wife and I have made our daughter’s Halloween costumes almost every year and our Boo costume is still one of the top Google results when searched.   Tags: calgary expo, canada, conventions, cosplay, daleks, doctor who, star...
Don’t Be That Guy

Don’t Be That Guy

UPDATE: There’s now a shirt inspired by this comic in the HE Store! Did you know I have published two books of my comics containing NEW COMMENTARY for absolutely every comic, embarrassing stuff I drew in middle school and high school, and LOTS more extras that have never been published online? Well, I did and I’m really proud of them and they have funny names and I think you should buy them. I am going to be at Calgary Expo this coming weekend with Blind Ferret at booths 925/1025! MORE INFO HERE. GAHHH! Stop being such a Grammar Dalek! (Yes, you should probably start using this phrase in daily life.) I made this comic almost entirely on my iPad in the PHX airport during a layover on my way to Calgary. Some of the template and text layout was done ahead of time in Photoshop, and some of the mistakes will probably be cleared up in Photoshop after I get back, but I don’t feel at all bad about being proud of what I was able to accomplish on zero hours sleep with a tablet and a stylus sitting at an airport Burger King. The app I used was ProCreate and the styli were the Adonit Jot Pro and the Wacom Bamboo. A word of warning to would be iPad artists, I had to start using a screen protector with the Adonit Jot to prevent (additional) scratches on the screen. The good news is the recently released Zagg Invisible Sheld HD is a MUCH better screen protector than their previous versions. Very smooth, glass-like surface with little to no texture and far less friction....
C2E2 2012 Fancy Sketches

C2E2 2012 Fancy Sketches

Please enjoy these sketches I did for some Fancy Bastards at C2E2 in Chicago last weekend. I would like to eventually collect all my my convention sketches and artist edition books sketches into an eBook and call it “I’m Sorry I Ruined Your Book.” Maybe I’d put it up for a few bucks or a pay-what-you-like type of thing. Just as idea. Being that I am smack in the taint of convention season (roughly the middle) I feel like I’ve been on tour. I got home from Seattle… yesterday? Last week? I have no idea. I was home for a 8 days or so and then I went to Chicago. I got home from Chicago all of 14 minutes ago and now I’m about to get on an iceplane to Canada for Calgary Entertainment Something Something Expo where I will be entertainingly expo’ing with Blind Ferret next weekend. I really love this job, and I consider doing conventions to be more of a perk than an obligation, but I am certainly ready for a good month or so where I don’t leave Texas… or my house… or my office. I have 150 ideas for things that I need actual, uninterrupted time to accomplish. Comics, shirts, things that are not comics or shirts… IDEAS! FOR THINGS! NEED TIME! One nice side effect of going to several conventions in a row is that I’m getting to see my comics friends more often than I actually see my local friends. One of the biggest negatives about working alone for me is the lack of creative collaboration. Put me at a bar with 3 other professional...
Guest Comic By Brian Patterson Of D20 Monkey

Guest Comic By Brian Patterson Of D20 Monkey

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made this “Fighting Time Lords” shirt!  Since I am packing and print-making and prepping for C2E2, Brian Patterson was kind enough to provide you with an illustrated funny-time concerning role playing, Time Lords and a completely different kind of role playing. Brian makes a comic called D20 Monkey, which should quite adequately fill the dungeon and or dragon shaped hole in your geek soul that HE just doesn’t do anything for. Brian did THIS other HE guest comic last June, this one from March and THIS guest comic for my friend Alina just a few weeks ago. He has a shirt HERE that I think is amazingly well designed and funny, even though I would be a total poser if I were to wear it. COMMENTERS: Have you ever had a game or movie or whatever that you were just DYING to share with your friends? Something from childhood that you might have perhaps been remembering through a filter of stupid child memories? Did it live up to the hype or were you disappointed and embarrassed. This has happened to be a few times with movies. The first was the partial-Python Beatles spoof The Rutles*, and the other was the 90’s gangta rap Spinal Tap homage Fear Of A Black Hat. Both were quite unique and hysterical when I first saw them (around age 15), but context is everything. In the intervening decade the mockumentary format was run pretty square into the ground, and I (as well as those I was so excited to share these films with) had become desensitized and jaded to the genre. *Upon further reflection I...
Emerald City Comicon 2012 Fancy Sketches

Emerald City Comicon 2012 Fancy Sketches

HOLY CRAPBASTARDS! ME AND WIL MADE “THE CODE” INTO A SHIRT!!! Get it now @ Sharksplode! Scan it. It really works! When a Fancy Bastard at Emerald City Comicon walked up, dropped some delicious monies in my cup and said, “Can you draw Wil Wheaton sitting on a throne of dicks?” he seemed almost puzzled at the speed with which I said, “Yup,” and got to work. It was as if he thought I didn’t have that image fully formed in my mind meer nanoseconds after the words escaped his lips. Everything I had drawn up until that point had prepared me to fully realize the dick throne in two dimensions on paper without the slightest hesitation. ECCC 2012 was a record convention for sketches. The ones shown above are some of my favorites. I personally drew over 50 commissioned sketches in 3 days. At most shows I do 15 or so max, not including quick book doodles. Of those 50, at least 1/3 if not 1/2 involved Wil Wheaton in some fashion. When he and I are exhibiting at the same show there tends to be this fandom wormhole between our booths. Our mutual fans tend to stop at my booth, get a sketch of Wil doing or saying something questionable, then stand in line for hours to get him to sign it, then return it to me for final approval. It’s pretty awesome to think that there are people in the world that hold us both in a similar regard, or at least consider us both as “people that make neat stuff that I like.” Last year at Phoenix Comicon,...
JoCo Cruise Crazy 2 Fancy Photo Comic Part 4

JoCo Cruise Crazy 2 Fancy Photo Comic Part 4

EWOK STAAAAAAAAARE!!!!! My “2 or 3 JoCo Cruise Crazy Photo Comics” plan has evolved into a “stop when you run out of photos” plan. Luckily, I am nearly out of photos. I have one more proper Fancy Photo Comic planned for tomorrow and perhaps a special Dolphi-jinks photo comic for the weekend. THEN I can return to crafting actual comic’d laugh panels from raw pixel ore and pen sweat. I thank you all for indulging me during this unusually long stretch of irregular HE content. It really helps me to process the JoCo Cruise Crazy experience by getting it out in these comics. And, for those of you that appreciate them, it’s a way to give you something back for allowing me to take the trip in the first place. John Hodgman was actually trying to photo bomb (Hodg-bomb) our “prom pics” on the stairs. That in itself should be the recruitment slogan for JCCC3. “John Hodgman tried to photo bomb us! Oh, the whole boat is sold out now because of how fantastic that slogan was? Ok. Neat.” I really wish you could have seen David psyching himself up to ask for DOUBLE THE LOBSTER MEAT with his dinner. “It’s supposed to be unlimited, right? I mean how can they say no? I PAID TO BE TREATED LIKE A SPECIAL BOY GOD DAMNIT! SPECIAL BOY WANTS TWO LOBSTERS! SPECIAL BOY WANTS TWO LOBSTERS!” When he finally got to pop the shameful question and the waiter just kind of shrugged an “of course you want two lobsters you piece of shit” shrug and nodded his head in apathetic acknowledgement...
Guest Comic By Lar deSouza

Guest Comic By Lar deSouza

Nothing says, “I bought you some stuff from the Internet,” like buying people stuff from the Internet.  JoCo Cruise Crazy II guest week starts now! I will be on a boat all week with about half of the Internet and a dozen or so of my close friends and at least a handful of my creative heroes, and YOU sent me there with your generous participation in my fundraiser! So, thanks for that. What a swell lady or gent or undefinable organism you are. I will karaoke “Come Sail Away” by Styx in your honor. Was I being too presumptuous in classifying you as an organism? I’m trying to be sensitive but at this point I will have been drinking rum punches with dolphins for several days and I should not be held responsible for… well, anything. Of course I am technically writing this the Thursday before I leave, so… now my eyes have gone cross. RUM PUNCH STAT! It is a safe bet that you aren’t Lar deSouza, which is to say I am not as fond of you as I am of Lar deSouza because I AM SUPER FOND OF LAR DESOUZA! He is essentially the greatest guy. Completely disregarding the fact that he can draw EVERYTHING in nearly any style or configuration, have it look amazing and somehow seem effortless – disregarding all of that – he is one of the most genuine, sweet men I am ever met. Let’s see, you got the talent. You got the sweetness. You got the MIGHTY MIGHTY beard. You got the penchant for wearing fezzes and various other novelty chapeaus....
Somewhere In Time And Relative Dimension In Space

Somewhere In Time And Relative Dimension In Space

  Just before The Doctor saves the planet, that bitch Harriet Jones jerks it out from under him. ARRRRRRRGH! I owe a lot to Mystery Science Theater 3000. In all honesty I owe my job to that show. I didn’t realize it at the time, but every episode of MST3K I saw as a kid was teaching me how to be funny. From Joel, Mike, Crow and Tom Servo’s example I learned how to find the common threads in totally unrelated things and exploit them for comedy. I learned how to index, search and retrieve references and how to find the one glimmer of humor in a seemingly humorless situation (or film, in their case). They taught me less about “making jokes” and more about learning how to look at situations to see why they are already funny, or the find the missing piece that would make them funny. I use those lessons every single day and I am grateful that there was such a resource available to me. Considering none of that was even remotely funny, perhaps I have forgotten all I learned. Oh well. I was lucky enough to get to hang out with Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett at SDCC last year and tell them just how much of an impact they had on my comedic upbringing. If you haven’t spent a great deal of time with Joel, Mike and the bots, I strongly suggest you stream the available episodes of MST3K on Netflix and FOR THE LOVE OF SPACE CHIEF you have to check out Rifftrax. The very fact that their commentary made both Eragon...
The Boy Who Waited

The Boy Who Waited

Nothing says, “I bought you some stuff from the Internet,” like buying people stuff from the Internet.  Me, Randy Milholland, David Willis, Danielle Corsetto, Jeph Jaques, Rob Denbleyker and MORE will be at the Dragon’s Lair Webcomic Rampage panel/signing event on December 10th and 11th. It is always a good time. Austin Fancy Bastards should NOT miss it. More details HERE. In honor of The Doctor and my current allergy-related headsplosion, I am drinking a cocktail of Dayquil, Sudaphed, vodka and orange juice. I call it a Sonic Screwdriver*. I can’t say I’m happy that The Doctor is leaving for so long, but I would rather them make a great series than rush to meet some arbitrary deadline. Plus, The Doctor always comes back eventually. My daughter is starting to figure out that Santa Claus isn’t real. [SPOILERS] Recently she’s said things like, “I bet scientists don’t think that Santa can really see everyone all the time,” and “I don’t think Santa’s reindeer can really fly. I bet they just walk everywhere.” I think I’m going to start telling her that Santa is and has always been a lie, because it’s The Doctor that brings her presents every year. Then we can leave fish fingers and custard on the fireplace for him on Christmas Eve. Doctor Who hopes you’ll excuse his TARDIS in 2 funny Xmas clips Hear The Doctor‘s desperate plea for help, in the prequel to the Doctor WhoChristmas Special! 18 magical new Who pics will have you feeling like it’s Xmas NOW Steven Moffat reveals we’ll have to wait a LONG time for new Who COMMENTERS: Mofftatt said the incredibly long Doctor Who hiatus (Doctor Whiatus)...
The State Of The Universe

The State Of The Universe

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made this “Fighting Time Lords” shirt for you! No, really. Specifically FOR YOU. [Sorry, non-Doctor Who fans. This one doesn’t make any sense to you.] The Whitehouse’s official stance on aliens, UFO’s and the like is that we haven’t yet made contact, and no information regarding extraterrestrials has been concealed by the government from the public. But, isn’t that EXACTLY what they would say if they WERE covering something up? And if The Silence are involved, do they even know they are covering it up? If Fox Moulder voted for Obama, would it be “Change I WANT TO BELIEVE in?” Further more, do astronauts have sex in space? How does that even work? So many mysteries. When I was a kid, I was both facinated and terrified by the idea of aliens visiting Earth. The early 90’s saw a strange surge in alien related media. Perhaps The X-Files started it, or perhaps the interest in UFO’s paved the way for the show. Either way, there were TV specials, movies and books coming out left and right that all seemed to say the same thing: We are not alone, and the truth is being kept from us. I soaked up every bit of info I could (which was hard pre-Internet) and felt that I had an above average working knowledge of “the truth.” I knew all about the inconsistencies of the reports surrounding Roswell, the military personell that had come forward only to be discredited, the similarities in abduction stories and the “greys.” I just accepted that this was the secret truth and...
Austin Comic Con 2011 Fancy Photo Comic

Austin Comic Con 2011 Fancy Photo Comic

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made this “Fighting Time Lords” shirt for you! No, really. Specifically FOR YOU. [Since I was unable to make comics during Austin Comic Con, I am backdating a few LoFi’s and a photo comic in the archive as not to interfere with the coming week’s comics. Please to enjoy.] This  fancy photo comic features my favorite Doctor Who cosplay of all time, if not my favorite cosplay period. I don’t know if the Ood mask was purchased or made, but the eyes glowed and it was entirely rad. Big thanks to James for being my booth babe all weekend. We never did touch wieners, but there is always next year. COMMENTERS: Come up with the mouseover text for this photo comic. I will pick my favorite one and add it to the archive permanently. [UPDATE: Ok, I actually just picked my own. Sorry.] Tags: austin comic con, conventions, doctor who, James West, the...
Guest Comic By Randal Milholland Of Something*Positive

Guest Comic By Randal Milholland Of Something*Positive

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt which you can purchase now over at Sharksplode. NYCC Guest Week refuses to submit! Its will is too strong! I am at New York Comic-Con with Blind Ferret at Booth #1821 right now and all this weekend  (10-13 to 10-16). Come say hi. I will talk to you about Doctor Who and Breaking Bad, but I will not talk about Babylon 5 no matter how hard you beg, because I’ve never watched it. Say nice, words with your face, buy nice books and shirts with your cash and bring me cookies and such with your hands. These are simple instructions I’m sure you will do just fine. Going by Starbucks on your way to the booth? I take an iced grande soy latte. I will be giving out free “Sci-Fives” all weekend [the hand gesture, not the t-shirt]. Randy Milholland of Something*Positive is not just one of my favorite webcomicers, he is also one of my favorite people. We have shared many a convention table, many a long walk in an unfamiliar city and many a hotel room. Oh, the nightmare fuel he has bestowed upon me in those hotel rooms. The stories I’ve been told, the things I’ve seen. Boxer shorts to not always fully contain the horrors that lurk within their subtle flaps. And the beard? It goes all the way down. ALL. THE. WAY. DOWN. When the night is black and the wind is bitter cold, some say you can climb it straight down into Hell. All of that said, in...
The Future Imperfect

The Future Imperfect

This weekend, on one of our rare, child-free nights my wife and I drove downtown to see Josh and his husband Jeff for dinner and movies. They live in a very nice neighborhood full of affluent types with fancy homes that just so happens to be about 40 feet away from the murdery, crack-rocky part of town. This is just how downtown Dallas is laid out and there’s no escaping it if that’s where you choose to hang your hat or your sack of rocks. THE HIJINKS ENSUE STORE IS A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN BUY STUFF!!! Due to the infrequency with which I visit this area, and my constant focus on not being murdered, I am unable to commit the directions to memory and thus employ a GPS to get me safely there. On the way the GPS said something very much like panel one above and I found myself mocking a machine’s elocution. A machine that knows exactly where I am, within 4 or 5 feet, because it can talk to 3 different satellite that are in space because we put them there with rocket ships. Is there a word that means “jaded by unfathomable privilege?” Because that’s what I am. Also, it should imply that I’m a terrible asshole for not being thankful each day and marveling at the wonders that surround me. Still, when my GPS says “parkway” it sounds like a Dutch exchange student. “Paaarqueaugh?” Instead of a movie, we watched the first episode of Misfits. We all really liked it. Many of you Fancy Bastards have recommended it, so as soon as I can procure...
Accepting WHO I Am

Accepting WHO I Am

I’ve felt this change coming for a long time and “Let’s Kill Hitler” finally pushed me over the edge. Matt Smith is my favorite Doctor. It’s not JUST him, it’s the whole show really. I guess I should rephrase and say “Matt Smith’s episodes are my favorite Doctor Who episodes.” It’s the writing, the look of the show (it some how seems more expensive… better lighting? Better cameras?), the companions (Rory and Amy are amazing but RIVER… dear god, River. What a fascinating character arc.), the chances they are taking with the story, the stakes they just keep raising, the departure from the typical “A) Go to a planet B) Fix a problem” formula… the whole show is just orders of magnitude more captivating that it’s ever been. That’s a considerable achievement when you take into account how much I enjoyed Tennant’s run. I feel like the last two seasons of Doctor Who are proof that you can make satisfying, complicated genre fiction on TV IF YOU HAVE A PLAN. And if Steven Moffat DOESN’T have a plan, then he’s the best bullshitter on the planet. All of the little loose threads just keep weaving themselves back into the main story. It’s never boring, it’s never hack. It’s just purely entertaining, cohesive and rewarding story telling. Watch the deleted Doctor Who Hitler scene too expensive to film Doctor Who and the One Woman the Doctor Can’t Screw Up [Tv Recap] COMMENTERS: Come on! Who’s with me on this? Matt’s the best, right? Ok, so who‘s YOUR favorite doctor? WARNING!!! THERE ARE SPOILERS FOR “Let’s Kill Hitler” IN THE COMMENTS. Tags: bbc, doctor...
One Louder

One Louder

THE HIJINKS ENSUE STORE IS A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN BUY STUFF!!! Where can you go from there? Where? No where? Exactly. Hooray for making comics with multiple obscure seemingly unrelated references that exactly not quite 5% of you will get [Kermit Arms]!!! This one has been in my idea file for a while and getting it out of my system will allow me to move on a healthier, more reader-accessible direction. I appreciate you bearing with me during this difficult time(y wimey). If you are going to be at PAX this week, please go see my buddy Wil and get a signed poster based on our Three Wheaton Moon shirt. He will, at some point, be wearing the shirt and you will have a fleeting opportunity to bask in its majesty. Karen Gillan: Everything changes for Amy Pond in Doctor Who season 6.5 Steven Moffat calls those Doctor Who rumors ‘absolute nonsense’ 2 clips from Doctor Who‘s fall premiere will only leave you with more questions COMMENTERS: Are you as excited-pants as I am for the return of Doctor Who? [SPOILERS] You are not. [/SPOILERS] Tags: bbc, doctor who, movies, music, scifi, spinal tap, this is spinal...
Baltimore Comic-Con 2011 Fancy Sketches

Baltimore Comic-Con 2011 Fancy Sketches

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made this Three Wheaton Moon shirt. You can buy it! Then you can wear it! Only two steps to total geeky happiness? Sign me up! Baltimore comic-con was a blast, and not the kind where I get shot in the chest and die in my partner’s arms forcing him to avenge me and clean up the mean streets at the same time. Honestly, I had intended to this to be my last year due to slumping sales from 2009 to 2010 but the Fancy Bastards came out in force and made it one of my best cons of the year. Thanks! Special ultimate thanks go to FB’s Adam and Casey for hosting me all weekend, driving me around, and throwing me a wonderful party/FB Meetup and to FB Alex for being my booth babe at the convention. Additional thanks to all of the FB’s who came the meetup. We had burgers, hotdogs, drinks, shitty movies and good times in excess of the legal limit as stipulated by Maryland municipal code. See you next year for BatliMORE! [get it?] #imsorry #dontshootme #iknowyouhaveguns HEY LOOK!: You asked for it, so I added a “Winter Is Coming” desktop to The Vault. I’ve also added “Chibi Wolverine” and “Three Wheaton Moon” desktops as well. Just make a donation of any amount, or sign up for a recurring donation subscription and you’ll get access. I’ve also added mobile versions of these desktops HERE.   Tags: baltimore comic-con, buffy, comic books, conventions, dc comics, doctor who, ewoks, jedi, scifi, sketch, sketch comics, stan lee, star wars, the green lantern, wil...
SDCC 2011 Fancy Sketches

SDCC 2011 Fancy Sketches

THE HIJINKS ENSUE STORE IS BACK!!! The newly relaunched HE Store is up and running over at Blind Ferret. Please go check it out and maybe buy a book or a shirt or something. Shirts will begin shipping soon, now that we are all back from Comic-Con. I am still recovering from San Diego Comic-Con. I have 100 shout outs and thank you’s to dole out over the next week, but for now I will leave you with these (mostly Doctor Who themed) sketches while I continue to deCONpress and process the amazing events of the last week. This week will probably round out with a couple of regular HE comics, a special HE comic of sorts and an SDCC photo comic over the weekend. Tags: battlestar galactica, doctor who, sketch, sketch comics, wil...
Porta-John Smith

Porta-John Smith

UPDATE 9/23/13: This comic is now a shirt over at Sharksplode!  STORE NEWS! The HijiNKS ENSUE Store will be shutting down for a few weeks so I can make some big, exciting changes. [READ MORE HERE] If there is a shirt you want, and you DON’T WANT to wait until sometime after San Diego Comicon, you should probably buy it now. This week will be your last chance for a at least a few weeks. Please check out this blog post to see which designs won’t be coming back, in case you want one of those. CONVENTION NEWS: I will be at San Diego Comicon at the Blind Ferret Booth with Least I Could Do, Looking For Group, Gutters, Girls With Slingshots and possibly more. It’s going to be a blast and a frakking half. I had this idea back in Phoenix while having dinner at this neat little Neapolitan Pizza place with some friends. About halfway through drawing it, I did a quick google and saw that Jon Rosenberg had already touched on the idea of a PorTARDIS-John with “Doctor Whoah” in Scenes From A Multiverse. Oh well. I guess it’s a pretty obvious comparison for two guys that think allot about science fiction and poop jokes. His comic is great. Go read it. Commenters: GOD DAMNIT NO NEW SEASON OF DOCTOR WHO UNTIL 2012?!?! BEST THING EVER: My good friend Lar “Poned” me. I have never been so happy or honored in all my stupid life. [click to embiggen] Tags: doctor who,...
The Ivy-Wivey League

The Ivy-Wivey League

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! This comic is inspired by our Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt which you can purchase now over at Sharksplode. You can read more about it on Wheaton’s Tumblr and the Sharksplode Blogsplode. Splode. PHOENIX COMICON IS THIS WEEKEND!!! I will be there with Kel McDonald at table 241. WHEATON and I may actually have one or two of our Gallifrey University shirts to show you. I am closing out some current t-shirt and print designs. Please check out this blog post since the stuff on closeout probably won’t be available again any time soon. COMMENTERS: What else goes on at Gallifrey U? What courses do they take? What sports do they letter in? Who are their rival schools? What other sort of pranks might Time Lord House pull on the Dean? Personally I assumed they didn’t have proper schooling on Gallifrey at all. I thought they just took a young Time Lord, maybe 8 or 9 years old, shoved his face in the Untempered Schism and let him gaze at the Time Vortex for a bit. If he wasn’t completely dingo-tits insane afterwards, he graduated with honors. Tags: animal house, bbc, college, doctor who, scifi, tv, wil...
TCAF 2011 Fancy Sketches Part 1

TCAF 2011 Fancy Sketches Part 1

Still decompressing from my trip to Toronto for TCAF 2011. If you missed part 1 of my TCAF sketches you can see it HERE [even if you didn’t miss it, I updated the coloring and added the alt-text so go check it out again]. Canada was kind to me, and I expect a return trip is inevitable. Wednesday and Thursday I’ll be posting photo comics from the trip. Very special thanks to my friend Paul Westover, who is the artist for the comic Woody After Hours. You may remember Paul from THIS very beardly HE guest comic. He was kind enough to drive me from Buffalo to Canada and back, thus making the trip possible. It turns out flying directly from Texas to Canada costs $100,000. Even with the exchange rate, that’s still a lot of money. Paul and I watched the season finale of Fringe at his place, so even though I am not getting to it right away, rest assured that it will be covered in the comic (holy crapgasm was it amazing). “The Doctor Is In” shirt based off the “You’re The Last of The Time Lords, Charlie Brown” comic is here! Tags: admiral ackbar, alien, canada, conventions, doctor who, farscape, scifi, star wars, tcaf,...
TCAF 2011 Fancy Sketches Part 1

TCAF 2011 Fancy Sketches Part 1

TCAF was so much fun. Thank you Toronto! Getting on a plane now. I’ll post another round of sketches tomorrow and do some photo comics after that. Watch out for moose-vipers. ~Joel “The Doctor Is In” shirt based off the “You’re The Last of The Time Lords, Charlie Brown” comic is here! Tags: canada, conventions, doctor who, dr. horrible's sing-a-long blog, firefly, ham, harry potter, serenity,...
Something Blue

Something Blue

“The Doctor Is In” shirt based off the “You’re The Last of The Time Lords, Charlie Brown” comic is here! NEW HE PODCAST – Episode 83 “Ass Merkins” Please enjoy this comic sans any sort of commentary or post regarding a 20 million pound party thrown for some fancy pants inbreds, and paid for by people who generally don’t give a shit about them. I have been furiously sketching and shipping preordered HE Book 2’s. 15 more left today and there are about 65 left to go. I am making the sketches extra special since I know you guys have been waiting a long time. Sorry for the truncated post, but I am running right now to see The Decemberists play in Dallas. They are one of my favorite bands and I have never seen them live, so I am SUPER excitedpants. COMMENTERS: How else might The Doctor have interacted with the royal wedding? I bet there was a Cyberman attack brewing in the basement and he stopped it in the nick of time. Tags: bbc, britain, doctor who, the royal family,...
The Ballerina And The Marmoset

The Ballerina And The Marmoset

“The Doctor Is In” shirt based off the “You’re The Last of The Time Lords, Charlie Brown” comic is here! NEW HE PODCAST – Episode 83 “Ass Merkins” I will save commenting on the Doctor Who season premiere, “The Impossible Astronaut,” until after I see part two. I will say that I really enjoyed what I saw and I think it sets up a great arch for the rest of the season, but I really feel like it cut off right in the middle of the episode, so what I have seen is incomplete. I have about 40 episodes of Tennant-era Who on my DVR right now, as my wife and I are working our way through the complete re-tooled series (while watching 11 concurrently). Panel 1 above represents my honest reaction to reading the list of recorded eps last night. They really do have FANTASTIC titles. You get the impression Davies and Moffat originally wanted careers naming bands and somehow stumbled into television. “Voyage Of The Damed” sounds like a Mastodon B-Sides album. “Utopia” is all vast, etherial keyboards and vaguely Celtic moaning. “The Lazarus Experiment” is a stoner granola-fusion trio featuring Les Claypool and Trey Anastasio. They only have one song and it has no beginning or end. “Family Of Blood” is a 90’s clown make up, horror show 9-piece alterna-rap outfit from Norman, Oklahoma. They are obscenely terrible, yet still better than Korn. COMMENTERS: I will give you two options. Either take a Doctor Who episode title and tell me what the band with the same name is all about, or give me a band name that sounds like a...
You’re The Last Of The Time Lords, Charlie Brown

You’re The Last Of The Time Lords, Charlie Brown

UPDATE: THE SHIRTS ARE HERE!!! If you are waiting on your copy of HE Book 2, PLEASE READ THIS!!! I scoured the Internet, positive that someone had already done this. How, in the grand scheme of pop-culture references, had no one ever put these two ideas together? After doing my due Google image searching diligence, I was confident that had this gag already been explored, it was not on the Internet and thus fair game. I did, however find a few pices of “Snoopy as The Doctor” fan art. Odd. Also, I KNOW “The Doctor Is In” refers to that football-yanking bitch Lucy and not Charlie Brown. I figured as long as I was taking creative liberties I should go for the gusto. New Doctor Who behind-the-scenes video is like Time Lord 101 Why Doctor Who‘s opening two-parter will be bigger than ever before Learn why this season of Doctor Who changes everything I suppose had I used Matt Smith’s Doctor as my subject I could have given new meaning to “the little red-haired girl.” Maybe someday I’ll do a follow up. UPDATE: I put a desktop version of this comic in The Vault. You can donate or become a subscriber to get access.     Tags: animation, bbc, cartoons, charlie brown, doctor who, scifi,...
Afraid Of The Future

Afraid Of The Future

If you are waiting on your copy of HE Book 2, PLEASE READ THIS!!! The Chinese government has banned movies and TV shows that depict time travel. They did this presumably in order to prevent filmakers from depicting people traveling back to feudal China and realizes it was terrible or some such nonsense. I assume this whole new legislation was brought on by Ninja Turtles 3. This film must be such a slap in the face to Chinese lawmakers. First of all, turtles are NOT ninja heroes. They are food. Their shells are rendered into a disgusting “turtle jelly” and slurped up in cafes all over China. The fact that they are walking and talking and wisecracking and kicking people instead of being consumed must provoke Communist outrage. Secondly, the film shows feudal China as… oh… wait… it was Japan? They were in Japan? Never mind. Either way that movie was terrible and certainly started this whole time travel mess. If only there was a way to go back in time and prevent that movie from ever… COMMENTERS: Rather than dwell on the limitations of the freedoms of the Chinese people, let’s focus on siller things. For instance, how would various sci-fi time travel movies be affected were they edited down for broadcast on Chinese TV [I do understand they aren’t actually editing time travel out of movies]. For instance: There’s the raunchy comedy Four Grown Men In An Unremarkable Hot Tub For a Few Minutes. And you can’t forget the Bill Murray classic An Asshole Has One Bad Day In A Shitty Little Town. I assume Primer and Donnie Darko would...