Dog Ownership: A Review

We got a dog for the Kiddo a little over a week ago on “Clear The Shelters” day. However, the dog has decided that I, not Kiddo, am the All Knowing, Benevolent MAN-GOD of her little Dogiverse. I told Kiddo that the puppy imprinted on me and thinks I’m her mommy. She said, “Don’t you mean DADDY?” To which I replied, “Nope.”

When my Patreon hits the next goal ($2000), I’ll start making Patron-only exclusive monthly comics! Your $5 a month can make that a real thing for real!


I’ve never had a dog before, so it’s an altogether new experience having another living being get just as excited about my naps as I do. It’s also been awhile since another creature went completely apeshit just because it noticed that I continue to exist. It’s a pretty validating feeling. Is that what dogs are for? To be our ever-constant, nonjudgemental cheerleaders? To just follow us around and root us on for our every dumb, lumbering mistake? Cool.

Here’s a T-Shirt I made about how much people care about fictional depictions of long past interstellar conflicts.

HijiNKS ENSUE I have opinions about Space Wizards - Star Wars t-shirt

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  1. We’ve always had dogs for pretty much exactly that reason. It’s nice to have somebody go ballistic with joy when you get back from the mailbox.

    When we adopted our youngest, my wife claimed it would be her dog. Well, I’m the one who’s home all the time, so guess what. Even if all I’m doing is getting more coffee, she basically clings to my ankle. I have to look behind me when I turn around so I don’t accidentally step on this idiot.

  2. My dog, a 160# English Mastiff, even has a dog, a 8# Yorkie.I thought that was something cartoonists just made up until I saw it happen

      • Translating from the British: “160 lb”; “8 lb”.

        Us Canadians are bilingual; we speak British AND American! 😉 (and French I guess too, eh, but only our own special version that’s useless everywhere else.)

        • Well, and for those of us who grew up outside of Québec, we mostly just learned food words.

          Seriously, I swear there was a unit every single year of elementary, junior high, and high school French that was food. Combine that with English+French food labels and it makes sense that I know in most practical senses zero French, but can read a menu in France with no problems.

          • Cool! You actually learned useful French vocab. Most French classes don’t teach you anything you actually need to know when traveling.

    • Considering that the less awesome bits include pooping just about anywhere other than in a toilet, I find that hard to imagine. My mother apparently did. She always had at least one.

  3. The alt text is funnier than the comic. 🙂 And yes, dogs imprint on the one they like or are around the most, not the one they were necessarily acquired for. I love my rescue dogs and in fact, now foster for the rescue group.

  4. Yes. Yes, that is what dogs exist for. Also for protection, because the vast majority of them will throw their own lives away to keep you from harm. That is the dog-love. Disclaimer: Mostly bigger dogs. Dogs in the kind of smallish range usually know they’re going to be ineffective for this purpose. Except chihuahuas.

  5. As much as I’ve always found the HE and Sharksplode cat comics as entertaining as anything else, it’s crazy how excited I am that you’ve now got a Dog.
    In the bastardised words of Captain America: “I got that reference”

  6. Small dogs are just as fiesty. Look at jack russell terriers. They do NOT back down. From ANYTHING. My vet says he has seen more of them in his office because the little thing decided to tangle with a dog at least 10 times its size. Funny thing is…usually he had to see BOTH the dogs in those situations.

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