Alternate title: “Meesa Makin’ Him An Offer Heesa Can’t Be Refusin’ ”
The idea that the upcoming Star Wars TV series would be like “Deadwood meets The Sopranos ” does little else other than make me twitch. Not that I have anything against either show (I’ve never seen them). I just can’t understand how, when given the opportunity to resurrect his now laughable franchise Lucas will ignore each and every single one of his (former) fans as they scream in unison, “ALL WE WANT IS JEDI AND LIGHTSABERS AND SPACE BATTLES AND DROIDS!!!” That’s it.
Now you might say, “The dreaded prequels had all of those things. You must be some kind of idiot.” Let me clarify. We want those things and ONLY those things. No Senate sub-committees, no trade disputes, no convoluted political posturing, no biology to explain the metaphysics of the universe, no terrible child actors, no great actors forced into mediocrity by poor writing and worse directing, none of that shit!
This is also not to say that we don’t want story elements. We do. We crave it like delicious mango’s or spiced meats. We want action, suspense, love, Wookies, “The Heroes Journey,” all of it. But you are so fucking bad at those things, George. You are just terrible at each and every one… at least you have been for the last decade or so. Stick to your guns. And by that I mean guns. The kinds with lasers. If you try and reinvent this franchise as a mafia drama or anything other than “Knights of the Old Republic: The Series” I’m going to kick you in the neck-scrotum.
George, you have spent 100% of your effort focusing on perfecting the technology of film making and in the process you have robbed your films of their soul. The Original Trilogy was a technical masterpiece, but it had heart. You are trying so hard to control everything down to the smallest detail that you’ve completely lost your way. The people that cared about you don’t even recognize you behind all of the machinery and computers. You seem fueled by a lust for ultimate control and power, but you are alienating everyone that loves you and transforming into more machine than… ohmyfuckinggod George Lucas is Darth Vader.
The prequels were a cry for help. George, I know there is still good in you. Come back to the light side.
On a side note, rather than make this rediculous “The HutFather” series, hire these two kids and let them run wild. I had more fun watching Ryan and Dorkman than I had during all 3 prequels combined.
So, give it to me. What’s your IDEAL Star Wars series? I would accept either “Jedi Academy” or “KOTOR: The Series.”
Here’s a decapitated horse head in a bed. I’m just saying is all.