An Audience Lost


Heroes Con 2010 in Charlotte, NC
Here’s a handy map that I made so that you can easily locate your favorite webcomics artists while at the convention. My 29th birthday will be during the con. I am expecting party hats and pasties pastries.

LOST has been done with for over a week now. I miss the hatch. I miss the time traveling bunnies. I miss how Ben’s face looked like canned apricot preserves after a fresh beating. Awwww sonofabitch, Freckles, I miss the dang polar bear.

SciFi SyFy Tv-Movie Title Generator Shirt

Science Fiction TV-Movie Title Generator T-Shirt @Topatoco!!!

Presented in the right way I think “Limbo Beach” could be a smash hit. It’s like Gilligan’s Island meets Fantasty Island meets DHARMA Island meets The Ghost Whisperer [I know I’m being silly, but seriously… can’t you see a network exec just about pissing his pants when he hears that pitch?]. And since ABC passed on picking up “The Boobs n’ Spectre Mystery Hour,” Jennifer Love Hewitt could reprise her role on my new show. She could play the up tight resort operations manager and all sorts of hilarity would ensue because only she and Hurley could speak to the guests [I’m sure Miles would have a small part as the hand man or something]. That goofy ol’ Ben would always be getting into trouble, delivering clean towels to the wrong DHARMA station bungalo, or accidentally murdering Rose and Bernard. I’m telling you it would be a riot of Lucile Ballian proportions.

For you comment challenge, please come up with a different show ABC can produce to recapture their lost LOSTies, OR a plot device (including a LOST cast member guest star) for an episode of “Limbo Beach.”

More LOST links:

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  1. Obviously, the Harlem Globetrotters need to make an appearance.

    Oddly (and this is only semi-related) I've been flashing back to 2004, when I was trying to tell my friends about this cool new show about this plane crash, and the following exchange would inevitably take place:

    ME: …and there's some kind of monster in the jungle–
    THEM: It's a dinosaur.
    ME: No, there's–
    THEM: It's. A. Dinosaur.

    I took great pleasure in rubbing their noses in their smug smugness when they finally came around and started watching the show.

    • Did they rub your nose in your smug smugness when you finally saw the finale? I live in a house with three obsessive Lost fans, and I could see their faces all fall at the same time when they realised "oh god, it's not an alternate universe" and they'd been cheerleading for Not Science Fiction, but Godbothering.

      I bailed at the end of Season One, 26 episodes that went nowhere and ignored the mysteries I was interested in. I said to them I recognised writing that shows that the writers don't have answers for their mysteries, having been burnt twice by The X-Files and Twin Peaks. Having been endlessly nagged for five more years that I should be watching it by all comers, I am revelling in the joy of it turning out to be nothing more than a ripoff of the sixties 'Carnival Of Souls' horror classic, and am loving watching people try to convince themselves out loud that they only watched it 'for the characters', and the mysteries 'weren't important'.

  2. I've never watched an episode of Lost. From what little I've read about it, I'm glad I saved my brain cells from that rot. Feh, I say.

  3. Okay, we take some proven DD-List geeksplotation talent like Jennifer Love Hewitt, Rose McGowan and Ali Larter, but get this: they're Mobsters. And get this: They are outer space alien types. And get this: They aren't human shaped, so they are wearing robotic human shaped suits whose bio-skin needs to be replenished weekly in some sort of group shower scenario. But everyone thinks they are regular human-type female mobsters who run a strip club called Va Va Va Voom, or V4. It's like the Sopranos meets V meets Terminator meets Charmed. We'll call it the "Falsettos" and call the fans "Falsies."

  4. Monkey-based sketch comedy show – "Chimping At The Bit."

    "Bain Of My Existence" – an hour-long dramedy revolving around an Andy Rooney-esque news commentator played by Conrad Bain.

  5. The weirdest thing about that comic Joel…is I really think the network would steal that idea and put it on tv….they've had worse ideas than Limbo Beach…

    Wait, that's been done…eh, whatever. A reboot of that series with a more modern-esque family may pique the interests of several Lost fans.

  7. As soon as I saw the title "Bitchfangs" I immediately imagined Will Ferrel as the Bitch Hunter being their arch nemesis, with a name like Chet VanHelsing.

  8. "Wait, I got it! How about a quirky comedy about a guy who can raise the dead by touching them! It's perfect and will run for years!… oh, wait…"

  9. Disney owns both ABC and Marvel. Smallville is the ONLY profitable thing on The WB – um, The CW. The obvious solution to recapturing LOST fans and their delicious, delicious ratings, given the track record of all parties involved, is a live action Spiderman which focuses on the Clone Saga.

  10. …and then we’ll make a game based on it, and call it “Limbo For The Lost”! (Oh, yeah, I went there.)

  11. We should probably adapt the plot of Cap'n Crunch, sailing the Milky Seas the world over lookin' fer Crunchberry treasures and fighting the Sog Armada.

    Jazz it up … 'Master and Commander' meets 'The Pirates of Dark Water' style. Guest appearances by Boo Berry as the season one villain.

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