UPDATE: Or maybe this didn’t happen at all.
In the same week it was announced that former TV Hulk, Lou “The Ferrigs” Ferrigno, was joining Steven “Fat Karate” Seagal in the Arizona Anti-Illegal Immigration Marauder Posse Squad Strike Force Delta, AND that Guillermo “The Most Mexican Director In Hollywood” del Toro would be bringing a new Hulk TV series to ABC.
I can put up with a lot of things, but brand disparity among individuals loosely affiliated with the same fictional property is ALWAYS where I draw the line. I guess. Come on, The Incredible Hulk Franchise. Pro-Mexican or Anti-Mexican? Pick a side. We’re at war.
Is it just me, or does this story make it seem like Steven Seagal actually is the character he played in Robert Rodriguez’s Machete? Pro-tip for illegals trying to sneak past Lou Ferrigno at the border: he’s partially deaf. Stay behind him and be very, very quiet. If he catches you in a sleeper hold, it’s lights out.
For those unfamiliar with Eli’s Vespa-riding doppleganger, it is his friend Alex. He last appeared in THIS COMIC taking Eli’s place after Eli asked for too much imaginary comic money.
COMMENTERS: This whole thing just screams, “set up for a reality show.” Name the show, come up with the tagline, and/or give us an episode synopsis. I’ll get you started:
“Bean Counters with Lou Ferrigno and Steven Seagal! We’re taking these illegals back to brown-town!”
The one and only thing I appreciate about Mtv’s Teen Wolf adaptation is that the townsfolk in the trailer seem to react to werewolves with reasonable levels of terror. It’s more, “OH GOD, A HORRIBLE MONSTER! KILL IT! KILLLL IT IN THE FAAAAACE!” than attitude presented in the classic 80’s movies of, “Hey, how come the short kid is a dog? I sure hope he can play sports good now. Dum dee dum dee doooo.”
