We Got It All On UHF

Ephram? Paw? Sweet Apple IIe of Appalachia, it’s The Technobillies!

Ephram and Paw get their satellite service from a special program provider that caters directly to those of a certain cultural status. It’s 400 channels of reality-game shows hosted by Jeff Foxworthy.

This is a friendly reminder to call your grandma and explain why her “tv box got all snowy” and she “can’t watch Maury and The Wheel“.

I doubt many of you were negatively afftected by the analog Tv shut-off, so how about we just make up other shows that would be on Ephram and Paw’s satellite service?

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60 Comments

  1. lol @ gynosynchronous

    The Technobillies win as always – nice job dude!

    Reply
    • agreed: I need to discover a way to use that in casual conversation

      Reply
  2. "Cast yur moronic eyes roof-ward, EphramI"

    Ah jaysus, I'm glad they're back.

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  3. I guess it's out of the question to suggest that people who can't buy and install their own converters should instead go buy a $10 radio…

    Reply
  4. Unsolicited suggestion time!

    You should have a "random comic" button on your header, or with the nav buttons below the comic. I like when webcomics have these, because sometimes you just want a quick hit of funny.

    Reply
    • second. make the button something like big. and a catchy name. "Fun-Shot" "Random Fancy Bastard?" i dunno.

      PD: just got a new 1.5 Gig RAM. gonna (re)start translating comics in my new blog
      (santiagoaquino.wordpress.com)
      The font was Lafayette Comic Pro, Right?

      Reply
  5. I expect compensation for the use of what is obviously my family in this comic.

    Reply
  6. CSI Hoskin’s Corner – This week’s episode: The investigation team, Luke and Zeke and Zeke’s dog who’s also named Luke, finally get their DNA test kit in the mail only to find out that everyone’s matches.

    Reply
    • Somewhere, someplace there is a rural community called Geneticbottleneck.

      Reply
    • "and Zeke's dog who's also named Luke"

      Thats gold.

      Reply
  7. Gynencosynchronicity is a concept I would welcome with open arms. It'd be worth the week of hell knowing that ALL women were giving that hell all in the same week.

    Great comic title, BTW.

    Reply
    • This must have come up before somewhere. The phrase "Ladies, synchronize your periods!" was already on my list of "phrases I need to incorporate into something someday" and I have no idea what inspired me to put it there.

      Reply
  8. The 24 hour Beverly Hillbillies channel. Except they don't know that it's not real, they just assume it's another celebrity reality show.

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  9. Please God, if there is any justice in this poor excuse for a world, let the word "transmogrifisplosion" get into the dictionary.

    Reply
    • well, argentinian word "fernet" is going into the RAE dictionary. its a BRANDED alcoholic drink. i think transmogrification can go into the US dictionary.

      Reply
  10. Seandalf, the world would come to an end. Or at least mankind would.

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  11. Top Roadkill Chef.

    America's Next Top Dollar Store Employee.

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  12. Our attempts at coping with the DTV changeover mostly involve doing diddly-squat too, not because we have cable or satellite but because everyone in my family, bar none, is too damn lazy to actually do anything about it. We have one digital TV in the house and converter boxes on all the others, but of course none of the antennas are powerful enough to actually pick up half the channels.

    Oh, and we have a DVD recorder hooked up that nobody wants to learn how to use. (Would you believe subscription-free DVRs don't even exist? Madness!)

    Reply
    • They do….they're call a media pc with a TV tuner video card….not that you want to go that route but that the only alternative.

      Reply
  13. Oh, and now that song is stuck in my freaking head.

    YOU CAN WATCH US ALL DAY
    YOU CAN WATCH US ALL NIGHT
    YOU CAN WATCH US ANY TIME THAT YOU PLEASE
    YOU CAN SIT AROUND AND STARE AT YOUR PICTURE TUBE
    TILL YOUR BRAIN TURNS INTO COTTAGE CHEEEEEEEESE

    Reply
    • call Charlie Halper! we need a jingle tune for that.

      Reply
  14. I wanna "Baby Jesus in Outer Space" t-shirt!

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  15. I actually was affected by the switchover because I'm too cheap to pay $60 a month to time warner to get the 8 cable channels I'm interested in.

    I have a digital box that I bought several years ago when they were very expensive on one TV, then I have a digital tuner in my desktop computer. Both are hooked up to indoor antennas.

    And everything was fine except one of my stations decided to move their digital signal from the UHF band to the VHF band. I tried both antennas, and I can't get that channel to show up anymore. So thanks, WLUK, I've apparently now lost the ability to see you.

    Reply
  16. I like the "ugly closeup" a la Ren and Stimpy in the middle panel.

    also Baby Jesus in Outer Space sound like a title for an awesome shitty movie.

    Reply
  17. I am way too young to have watched UHF but I have heard the song. Wait, what does UHF stand for? We don't use that terminology in Australia.

    All we have is Foxtel and Austar and stuff unless you watch Free to Air, we don't get half the crazy shows you Americans get. Not that one would want to watch all those trashy reality shows when we could be watching The Gruen Transfer…

    Reply
    • UHF=Ultra High Frequency

      Reply
  18. If baby Jesus and or god beamed down 500 channels of television from space for us to watch I might consider worship….as it stands….nope.

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  19. If baby Jesus beamed down 500 channels of television from space for us to watch I might consider worship….as it stands….nope.

    Reply
  20. Isn't it funny how Ren and Stimpy envisioned how people would look on HD TV.

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    • yeah i liked that. Spongebob does that too, right? and the episode of The Simpsons where krusty shows everyone how the show will look in HDTV and hes all ugly

      Reply
    • Thats actually exactly what I was thinking of but I didnt go all the way and make him super disgusting.

      Reply
    • This exact joke was done at CAD. The exact same thing. Are you just crawling his site for material,

      Reply
      • This obviously isnt a serious question so I wont bother with a serious answer. If you want to comment on this site please be respectful. Maybe you spend too much time reading CAD to know how to be kind on the internet.

        Reply
  21. This cracked me up big time. Hahaha

    Kinda surprised though that this is only the second time that Ephram and Paw graced the pages of this site.

    Reply
  22. "Queer Eye Punched by the Straight Guy"?

    I feel guilty just for typing that one.

    Reply
  23. The reference to the "wok" seems awfully cosmopolitan for the hill-billys. I think he'd more likely to refer to it as a, "Tekmogasmatronic Ear'Horn."

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  24. When people were crying foul back in Jan/Feb about the conversion and how SO many people would be left behind… you know, because they could figure out how to get the FREE conversion boxes that the government provided… well, I was thinking, hey, here's a new list of people for the next round of supervirus-based eugenics!

    Reply
  25. When people were crying foul back in Jan/Feb about the conversion and how SO many people would be left behind… you know, because they couldn't figure out how to get the FREE conversion boxes that the government provided… well, I was thinking, hey, here's a new list of people for the next round of supervirus-based eugenics!

    Reply
  26. Law N' Order?

    or Law and Ordure? Sorry, that one's offal, I know.

    Reply
  27. "Like makin' breakfast in reverse" cracked me up!

    Reply
    • Awesome. I wasnt sure that would work.

      Reply
  28. "If I Divorce my Wife, Will she Still be my Sister?"

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    • Actually the show is called "Fuck, Marry, Kill." And you have to choose from your brother you wife and your dog.

      Reply
  29. Ha! Fantastic writing in this one. Great to see the technobillies back, they really worked for this.

    Reply
  30. Hah… As a Questionable Content reader for a few years now, I can't help but find it awesome that we completely obliterated your website with our WAAAAAGH of fanbase.

    …and now time to read the entirety of your comic, in a single sitting.

    Reply
    • I sort of knew it would happen. Jeph has the 2nd largest audience in webcomics. Im happy to have you guys reading the comic, so I little down time is no sweat.

      Reply
      • Whoa, a response. O_o Almost like…. you're *real*.

        Done with the whole comic, now… and all I have to say is: At least it wasn't another Digg-death.

        Reply
  31. Just have all the 'Blue Collar Comedy' shows on back to back and non stop.
    Awesome comic, laughed my gigantic, pasty white, British arse off, especially at the 'making breakfast in reverse' bit!
    However, we will be facing the reality of the digital domination fairly soon… Mass panic will ensue and the little old biddies who can't watch Bargain Hunt of weekday lunchtime will be out en-mass threatening the world with their knitting!

    Reply
    • Nanageddon?

      "Blood on the walls, of London Town
      Satan's evil in a nylon gown
      Evil cakes
      Fiery Lakes
      Nanageddon's coming with a demon in a wig"

      Reply
  32. Yes! Nannatoo, however, will probably have no trouble getting a picture in the depths of the underworld. I understand they have excellent digital reception down there.

    (for those as yet uninitiated into the brilliance that is The Mighty Boosh, check this out… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_mighty_boosh)

    Reply
  33. They watch Wife-Cousin Swap and Seven Piglets for Seven Brothers.

    Reply
  34. American Idol
    The O'Riley Factor
    Hannity
    Reno 911
    Most of WWE's Programing

    … wait, we were making up fake shows? I thought these would actually be on a hillbilly satellite service.

    Reply
  35. This is a friendly reminder to call your grandma and explain why her “tv box got all snowy” and she “can’t watch Maury and The Wheel“. -this made me lol so hard!

    Reply
  36. Okay. I have come through the QC gateway. I have read all and now conquered. I demand more. Seriously. I demand it.

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  37. Survivor: New York City.

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  38. This is a classic, Joel. Seriously, I'm grinning from ear to ear. Excellent script; you write hillbillies disturbingly well. :)

    Reply
  39. Trailer Fabulous! Which was a real and entertaining show, even if it was on MTV.
    My Big Redneck Wedding. Which was also a real show and filmed one of my parents neighbors weddings, they road to the altar on a tractor.
    Deadliest Roadkill
    Project Taxidermist
    Are You Smarter Than a Woodchuck
    Family Feud: First Blood
    Bayou Chef: Guess If It's Edible
    All in the Family Values

    BTW: Technically the receiver first catches and then "descrambilates" the signal. I know, it's nit-picking.

    Reply
  40. Shine On!, a doc'mentry program all about folk what makes they own hooch. Fambly recipies is shared, lawmens is shot.

    Hey, MacLeod, Get Offa My Ewe! – situation comedy about a Scots-Irish family with a Rolling Stones soundtrack.

    Monster Trucks and Twelve Point Bucks – A program that features bikini clad women driving monster trucks through the back country's best deer hunting spots.

    We could probably fill the rest of the time with professional bowling and reruns of Dukes of Hazzard.

    Reply
  41. If you find yourself unable to stop commenting on years-old strips during an archive run, you just might be a Fancy Bastard. Or at least a desperate wannabe.

    Reply

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