Tonight’s Forecast: Snow And Ice

Yep. That really just happened. For “IRL” reals, even.

A moment later 100 white doves burst into the sky each doing an air guitar rendition of “Eruption” by Van Halen while swarms of hawks painted like the jets from Top Gun picked them off one by one mid-air. A team of sled dogs pulled a polar bear with a flame thrower as he burned “WILLGHFHYOUHFGAUEGQ AIFHMARRYJIAJDHGAHHHH” into the side of the resort (because polar bears can’t spell very well, much less do they have the fine motor control to write legibly with a flame thrower). But the sentiment was beautiful, none the less.

So Fancy Bastards, please join me in offering 1000 congratulations (and not a congratulation more!) to Eli and Denise on their pending fanciest ofΒ nuptials. I have watched their friendship grow into bromance over the years. A bromance which culminated this weekend in a broposal of marriage (I know that implies two dudes, but Eli is bro enough for the bro-th of them). Feel free to post your well wishes in the comments (be super respectful or get immediately deleted/banned), as well as your ideas for the perfect geek wedding.

In less joyous news: I’ve had a pretty crappy day dealing with the fallout of our last trip with the kiddo to the ER. The bill is over $2700 (that’s WITH insurance) and the best they will offer me is a monthly payment that is more than my car payment. If you enjoy the comic and would like to help out, please consider making a small DONATION. Put “ER Bill” in the comments and I will make sure it goes straight to the Hospital/Collection Agency.




If you missed out on the “Riker? I Hardly Know Her” shirt and would still like to purchase one, please email me.

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  1. I offer congratulasplosions (new fav word, btw) to Eli and Denise and wish them nothing but the best.

    As for geek wedding ideas, I’m pretty sure walking down the aisle under lightsaber sword arches would fit the bill.

  2. I see it now when Josh gets to pop the question. He'll train his friends for weeks on just the right song on Guitar Hero. He will swear on all that is doritos and peanut butter his love for that special guy. And when he finishes a chorus of perfect Guitar Hero scores will sound. And a tiny tear from Josh. Realizing just how awesome that was. As the other guy is like, "Dude… we're in the middle of Best Buy… seriously!!??!" πŸ˜‰ πŸ™‚

    Congratulations to the happy couple!

  3. Many congratulations! Perhaps Eli and Denise could make the wedding party wear cosplay outfits (within a specific theme, of course). If they go the Star Wars route, I think it would be appropriate to dress Eli and Denise could dress as Princess Leia–gold bikini optional–and Han Solo. I could list more character associations, but I figure the FBs can figure that on their own.

  4. w00t! Congratulations, you krazy kids!

    Joel, you did a lovely job on that scene! All? Is all a number? All of beer. (hee!)
    I'm sure you'll give them a nice discount on a print version, right? *snerk* I keeed.

  5. The most congratulations!
    As for ideas… they could always be like my father and use the Imperial (Darth Vader) March instead of the Wedding March!
    In fact, all of congratulations. Because all is a number.

  6. Congrats and Godspeed, you Fancy Bastards! πŸ˜€

    As far as geek weddings go, the best are the subtle ones. Geek-oriented cake topper, a reference to couples in geek canon in a speech, blue milk for the kids at the reception. Little touches.

    (Re-reading what I wrote, "Little touches" after a sentence regarding children probably wasn't my best writing, but you all get the point.

  7. Congrats you guys. Even though it was never really said … I think most people knew you guys were a couple for a while now. I suspected shortly after the second podcast episode. So all the love in the world to you guys. I think no one geek genre can contain you… so like most things Hijinksian a chaos of geekdom is the way to go. The groomsmen with lightsabers the bridesmaids in elven dresses…. run with it.

  8. Awww… and now it's part of HE dogma.

    Some songs that should play during the reception:
    The Final Countdown
    The Futurama Theme Song
    Anything from the Dr. Horrible Soundtrack
    Shatner's Rocket Man rendition
    Big Bang Theory Theme Song

    Anyway, congrats!!

  9. I'm not sure how a wedding could get nerdier than the one I had… unless they get married IN costumes… I mean, we had the Dr. Who theme playing during the entrance to the reception and our first dance was to a song from Final Fantasy. They can borrow my entrance music of "The Final Countdown" though… That one I don't mind sharing. πŸ˜€

    Congrats Eli & Denise!!!

  10. Congrats! Yes, a Princess bride theme would be perfect for a romantic/geeky wedding! My husband and I did a medieval theme. Also very geeky and romantic.

    • [Homer scream] Thanks for dredging up those B&R memories I thought I reperessed years ago!!! Now I have to drink all of beer to undo that.

  11. I'm so happy for you guys. πŸ™‚ I have it on good authority that Eli looks smashing in a tux. Here's hoping tuxedo football plays a part in your nuptials.

  12. Grats Denise and Eli! (all I can picture in my head is the Delorio with cans tied on the back and a Just Married sign in the back) Where we're going we don't HAVE roads…

    I always thought it would be sweet to hire Patrick Stewart or Shatner to perform the ceremony at my wedding.

  13. Congratulation!
    For the Wedding, whilst my idea isn't exactly geek, but I think one of Eli's cats (or all of them) should ride in on skateboards with the ring, then it does a backflip and the ring lands of Denises finger.

    Or a Van Halen tribute band.

  14. My strange librarian friend and his Wife built a R2D2 ring bearer for their wedding, Congratulations are in order, I will drink a tankard of ale and roast a whole pig in your honor this weekend which I will then consume. Proper tradition I'm' told.

  15. Thanks everyone!! It's awesome to have such Geek friends via the internetz. Hijinks has been such a good community and supportive of Joel and all his efforts. I was happy to share this event with all of you and even happier with how the comic turned out. Joel had free reign to do as he saw fit and what he created something special in that Hijinks way.

    Again thank you all and keep those comments coming. We are reading them all

  16. I freaking knew it. I'd always wondered about whether Eli x Denise was a canon pairing, but I guess everyone wins now…

    Man, I hope I find my special somebody soon. Not ready for marriage, just, some actual human companionship would be nice. Eli and Denise, congrats.

  17. Congratu-fracking-lations! Great to see Eli and Denise have found some happy they can horde amongst themselves πŸ™‚
    Far too early to ask, I know, but did any hotels with a honeymoon suite ever buy enough of the BSG set to make a room? πŸ˜‰

  18. YAY!! Congratulasplosions (tm The Other Josh) to Eli and Denise!! I'm very glad that those of us on this side of the interwebs get to share in such a happy occasion. All the best to you both, you Fanciest Of Bastards. πŸ™‚

    Here are the two things taking up the most space in my brain at this exact moment:

    Eli telling Denise to tweet at his face because she's so distraught, and The original (long) version of the spoken word intro of "Let's Go Crazy" by Prince.

    Beyond that odd glimpse into my psyche, a perfect geek wedding would certainly depend on the geek, but Steampunk Star Wars (hell, Steampunk anything) would be rather fantastic. With an actual Firefly-style Shindig (complete with sword fight, fisticuffs, and a levitating chandelier!) as the reception, of course.

  19. Contrats to gord hat and the sound-board master, my you children and your children's children make awesome games just like you.

    Joel please stop using bro in anything outside of a sarcastic manner. thanks from the world who shun and ridicule Jersey Shore


    I'm torn for geek-wedding recs, because on the one hand you want to cram everything in there that you possibly can, but on the other hand staying true to one inspirational geektastic concept is often more of the awesome. Maybe some kind of tasteful CatOnMyFace/veil made from satin and tulle….

  21. Aw, somehow I knew (thru the Force) those two crazy kids would wind up together. Could Eli be any more "bro" for us, Joel?
    Anywayz, Eli, Denise, congratz you facy bastards, & I hope you two do "live long and prosper" as I said in an earlier comment and really geek it up on the big day! Joel, make a comic of that, pleez?!

  22. Ha, and here I thought they were together/married already. Anyhow, I think that re-creating the wedding of Riker and Troi from Nemisis

    • PS: Congratulations, yeah I probably should have lead with that.

      PPS: All beer? Is all a number?

      Yeah, I'm totally using that next time I'm housed.

  23. Congrats, Eli and Denise!

    Joel — I like you how you front-loaded the jokes into the first panel, allowing you to deliver a deep, meaningful moment at the end, without overdoing the sentimentality of the piece as a whole. Or if that isn't how you planned it, you should at least use that explanation.

  24. CONGRATULATIONS Joel, you did good job drawing a girl!

    Oh and good luck to the happy together fellow fancy bastards, I saw the tweets but I only believe things when I see them in strip format.


  25. Wow this comes as a surprise, congratulations to both Eli and Denise. One worry however does this mean that you'll all have to stop making fun of Denise on the podcast now? In all serious though, this is awesome for them both and I wish them absolute happiness and a great wedding day.

  26. When I saw the strip last night before it was coloured I was all "Aaawww super sweet!" Now I've seen it coloured I'm like "Totally Awesome and megasweet!!" The Jayne hat totally wins. And Eli's face in the second panel – brilliant.

    Huge mounds of Congratulations to Eli & Denise. I only know you in cartoon form, but you both seem like completely insane people (from what Joel draws and writes) and that can only be a good thing.

    I think a Princess Bride type wedding would be pretty cool…although that would end with Eli being tied to a chair and Denise running off with the Dread Pirate Roberts…hmmm, maybe that's too literal a take on it. Not being the marrying kind (14 years and still living in 'sin' heh heh) I'm having trouble coming up with any ideas for a geeky wedding – that aren't lame. The Star Wars idea sounds pretty cool though.

  27. Congrats to the happy couple. I think they need to be married by Olmos dressed as Adama.

    Seriously Joel, make it happen. Promise him a Team Edward shirt.

    PS – sorry about the $$ hospital bill. Two years ago basically had the same thing happen only moreso- we're still paying it all off. But hang in there—us bastards have your back.

  28. Man, you guys got me all verklempt! Wow, words cannot describe the gratitude we have for all the well-wishers. It is a little mind-blowing to know that so many people are celebrating this special time with us. Hijinks Ensue and all you Fancy Bastards have been a big part of our lives and we are honored to share this with you all.

    Love and thanks,

  29. @Denise and Eli-Congratulations! I would suggest a Firefly themed Wash/Zoe wedding, but I'm afraid~someone~would take it too far and it would end with Eli being impaled, so probably best to stick with something safer… I would however love to see Starbuck/Sam style matching tattoos!

    @Joel-Fantastic job on the comic!

  30. Those Fancy Bastards!

    @Eli and Denise
    That is badass way and place to propose so..Grats to Eli and Denise. I wish you all the best I you Fancy Bastards!

    I am sorry too hear/read about your hospital troubles. I wish I could help but Ford has me by the balls and the wallet at the moment. 3+ weeks without my truck is a total Bitch.I am scared to find out what my bill will be electrical systems be dammed.

    PS Love the comic as always.

  31. Aww, the last panel keeps making me go a wee bit misty-eyed, even though I heard about the happy news on Twitter first. Congratulations to them both!

    And Joel, I'm stunned to hear the terrible news about the hospital bill– it pretty much doesn't even compute for me as a Canadian. I can't donate much because I'm an unemployed recent graduate, but hopefully even just a little will help…

    P.S. Love Eli's Jayne hat; how about a sweet little ceremony straight out of "Our Mrs Reynolds"?

  32. Congrats again to these two, i say no wedding, keep the money and just buy some books and shirts from that will be way better. Just go to city hall man. Also, definitely getting this as a print.

  33. I went to a wedding where the bride walked down the isle accompanied by Imperial March, and the groom, while doing his speech, said that "These kind of speeches are all about love and staying by your partner's side, and it's already been said so much better than I ever could, so I'd like to play something that expresses my sentiment instead" and put on "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astly. The toastmaster then told the guests to turn to one of the many geeks at the table and ask them to explain the concept of Rick Rolling.

    I can only hope Denise and Eli can top that when it comes to geekiness. Congratulations! I awwed out loud when I read this.

  34. Thanks everyone!! It's awesome to have such Geek friends via the internetz. Hijinks has been such a good community and supportive of Joel and all his efforts. I was happy to share this event with all of you and even happier with how the comic turned out. Joel had free reign to do as he saw fit and what he created something special in that Hijinks way.

  35. OMG OMG OMG YAY! (as the kids say it) Congratulations to two of my favorite online comic characters who are also real life people that i don't know but read about!

  36. Congratulations to the happy couple, and may I suggest having a robot carry the rings up the aisle- with a bottle of preferred liquor inside the chest cavity for an immediate toast right after the kiss. And then have it deliver the cake knife after the speeches- to cut the rocket shaped cake.

  37. On the topic of nerdy wedding ideas, this is a fairly obvious one:
    In place of the traditional little bride and groom on the wedding cake, I heartily recommend Han Solo and Princess Leia action figures/figurines/whatever – Leia in the traditional white dress, of course, and Han's vest is close enough to a tux πŸ˜›

    The (now ex-) wife and I had stumpy big-headed Han and Leia thingies on our cake at our wedding party – the marriage failed, but the cake looked wicked awesome!

  38. All of Beer. Excellent.

    I know there was a girl in my university who got married and went to see the filming site for the Tatoonie scenes in Star Wars and went to London to hug the Tardis as her honey moon.

  39. Dude, congratulations to you both. Marriage is great- even better than the wedding, which I hope goes well.

    Go register at Target, get yourself a latte, and go on a shooting spree with the scanner gun. Most fun I've had in a retail store ever.

  40. What a great way to commemorate their engagement. Also the comic happens to be really pretty cuz the colours are great. So now the married-couple-to-be will have a nice little comic they can frame and put on their wall if they want to. πŸ™‚ I would!

    Congratulations to them!

  41. Congratulations to 'em both! That's really cool.

    As for geeky stuff, I'm partial to LOTR-themed weddings, myself, but one of my friends pulled off the best stealth geek weddings ever: the entire wedding was normal, until the recessional music where the bride and groom's parties exit the church.

    They used the Throne Room Celebration music from "Star Wars" — you know, the music where Han and Luke are getting their medals for blowing up the Death Star. πŸ™‚

    You could see geeks in the audience puzzling for a moment until they figured it out, and then shaking with suppressed laughter. It was AWESOME.

  42. Congrats!
    My wedding idea: have a contest to see which one of you can cram the most references to internet memes into your vows / toasts.

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