The Dark Mac

Buh. The “I wish Hollywood would stop forcibly penetrating my childhood” argument is just moot at this point. “This has all happened before and it will all happen again” is the film industry’s mantra. Macgyer was one of the TV cornerstones of my young geek development. Much like TNG, Mac taught me improvisational problem solving and brains over brawn. I don’t know if they meant the show to be educational/developmental, but that’s what I took from it. Mac was like Mr. Rogers with an airplane made of bamboo and duct tape. Also a mullet. Never forget the mullet.

Also, remember when Mac went back to medieval times? That was awesome.

So, FB’s, how about we cast this movie? If any of you say “Shia Thebeaf” I’m going to murder you with a quickly improvised weapon involving a tube sock, silly putty and an 8-track tape. Share your ideas for the premise, how it might tie into the original and what “inventions to get out of sticky situations” he might build using more modern items.

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  1. If Harrison Ford can still be Indie, RIchard Dean Anderson can still be Mac. He just needs a young popular sidekick, like Shia…I mean, Daniel Radcliffe.

  2. Assuming it's done well, I'd love to see a MacGyver movie made. If MacGyver could turn in his mufllet for a scruffy beard, we could have Ryan Reynolds play him. Ooo or Brendan Fraiser, I still firmly believe he's underutilized as an action hero. Actually, maybe not Brendan, I don't feel like he could pull off geeky smart.

  3. I'm looking forward to seeing your interpretation of the new Three Stooges with Benicio del Toro, Jim Carrey and Sean Penn.

  4. OK, I'm going to say:

    Nathan Fillion as MacGyver
    Michael Chiklis as Peter Thornton
    Malcolm McDowell as Murdoc
    Steve Carrell as Jack Dalton
    Evangeline Lilly as Penny Parker

  5. Wow I laughed hard at this one, so many lols in that second panel.

    There's no need to make this movie. If someone wants more MacGuyver they can just watch Burn Notice.

  6. Aww, MacGyver is one of my earliest TV memories! And that fixation led me to watch Stargate SG-1, eh. (Don't look at me like that.) Mac in space! I mean, in a forest. With guns, silly effects and lots of snark!
    But yeah, I'm not going to see the movie if it's not RDA. Seconding the Indy point, no way anybody else could pull it off. Grumpy pensioner Mac improvising gadgets from walking canes, heart pills and duct tape (good old Jesus tape, fun for all ages) to keep the damn kids off his lawn, yes please!


    • Yeah he improvises his way to escape the retirement home.
      Straw + syringe + crushed up meds in water paste coating the tip = blow gun to incapacitate the staff
      Oxygen tank + nitrous oxide tank + wheel chair = rocket car

  7. Not to naysay, but I don't hold any hope for that film being even passable in the eyes of anyone over the age of twenty-five. Great comic interpretation, however! 🙂

  8. If SNL is any example, you KNOW Richard Dean Anderson will make an appearance in this film… maybe playing MacGuyver’s father?

    I honestly never watched MacGuyver… but I still hope this movie doesn’t turn it into a big joke, like what happened to the Dukes of Hazard.

    I would TOTALLY watch it if they cast Ryan Reynolds… I’d watch him hang wallpaper…

    • That sounds awful, for reasons I've stated above. Also, that reeks of Knight Rider bullshit. Except he'd have to be a new MacGuyver, because the title has to be MacGuyver. None of this "I'm Mike Traceur" bullshit.

      I'm just thinking, not that Mac isn't great, but when's the last time Mac was relevant in pop culture? This is one of the most obvious nostalgia cash ins I've ever seen in Hollywood. "YOU REMEMBER MACGUYVER RIGHT?!"

  9. Like this new scenery style. Shouldn't this comic have the "Josh dies" tag? I'm assuming that's him strapped to the wall, judging by Joel's knife in the evidence bag.

  10. Yes to RDA being MacGuyver, no to a sidekick. Mac is still a genius doesn't need his fucking Swiss Army knife to roll down the aisle on his wedding day.

    RDA can still pull off Mac, especially in those MasterCard ads.

  11. That's the thing. I think RDA has aged less in the time since the show was on than Harrison Ford did since the last Indy.

    Mac's partner should be Daniel Jackson via an earpiece. Like his Otacon.

  12. I was going to post how Shia could be Mac's estranged son… but you basically stole any 'funny' i might have gotten from that…


    My idea for the ultimate 80's movie script would involve the A-Team, MacGuyver, Airwolf and StreetHawk. It'd be a sort of Civil War/Cold War Mash-up…. Basically the Ruskies (a new communist party) start "Cold War 2" by kidnapping all the American 'pig-dog' freedom fighters (such as the A-Team, Mac and co.) and by lining up double nukes on their borders and making the titanium curtain (a real item like the great wall of China) and the new, untested generation of heroes (some of them the kids of the heroes) turns out to free them.
    However, at the same time there's this whole political story going on in the background about how the government wants to regulate the freelance freedom fighters of the US and some of the guys, especially StreetHawk guy (that b*st*rd) are all for registering up and allowing themselves to be under the control of the military. Somewhere along the line, Michael Knight gets killed (again) by being shot in the face and he is replaced by "Adrian Grenier" (he is actually a guy merged with the personality of KITT), who must face the new regime and win back the freedom to fight commies and injustice (to be continued in the sequel)

    In the sequel, the new Ruskies are overthrown by the people of Russia with the help of the freelance freedom fighters, "Michael Knight" leads an overwhelming and (most importantly) logical victory against the US government in a massive legal battle which ends in a victory muscial dance bit right at the end of the film which ends on a high note of a following pan (or whatever they call it) of the new KITTI (Knight Industries Three Thousand Interceptor and has a female voice) racing across the desert, dust billowing out behind it set to some sort of deep-voiced speech…. KITTI is joined by Airwolf and the new A-Team van and they all ride off into the sunset.

    Did i mention that Mr T's replacement is his niece?

    • My idea for the ultimate 80's movie script would involve the A-Team, MacGuyver, Airwolf and StreetHawk. It'd be a sort of Civil War/Cold War Mash-up…. Basically the Ruskies (a new communist party) start "Cold War 2"

      To *really* capture the 80's zeitgeist, the Russians would have to start "Cold War 2: Electric Boogaloo".

  13. Hahahaha fantastic comic, ive been a long time reader and this is one of my faves, I loved the Mac, me and my buddies would hum the theme in high school whenever we were asked a question to stall for time.

    As for a MacGyver-esque escape…He is trapped in a room when he notices the computer is linked to a network. Finding a trusty USB thumb drive that has been left in the room (stupidly), he uses some form of liquid (if I were actually producing the film, it would be urine), and causes the windows based operating system to go into an infinite loop and fuck itself. The Ensuing computer crash would, of course, pop open the doors.

    The scenario isnt exactly fitting with the whole educational theme, but more often than not the story was a teensy bit tongue in cheek, but imho that was the charm, of the show. 🙂

  14. That comic makes me think of what would happen if you crossed MacGyver with Darkman. You could even explain that MacGyver what disfigured in an improvised escape gone wrong.
    "OMG the baking soda and vinegar bomb meant to blow open the locked door blew up in Mac's face!!"

  15. But MacGyver didn't avoid lethal force because of his moral code. He avoided it because he tried it once during the pilot and discovered he couldn't hit the broad side of a barn:

    I kind of hope that if they make a MacGyver movie, that he's had some shooting lessons by now.

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