All joking aside, THIS is exactly how we, as a nation, will be subjugated by foreign powers in the years to come. Coffee embargos! Java rationing! That will only be the beginning, but it will lead us to our end. Save your spent grounds! Stuff them in your mattresses! You will need them for bartering in tomorrow’s coffee-less wasteland. The Great Coffee Wars will claim 50% of humanity in the first 5 years. The other 50% will wish they had died along with their sons and daughters and former baristas. Dark times are ahead indeed, but not dark roasted timed. I like my future like I like my coffee: harsh and bleak.
I shutter to even consider the fact that we can’t actually grow the trees necessary to product chocolate in North America. How are we even still a thing?