Somebody Set Up Us The Bomb

Maybe the giant turtle is UNDER the island, and the H-bomb will awaken him from his 1000 year slumber to rain slow turtley terror upon the island’s inhabitants!

This comic was intended to run right after the “LOST” Season 5 finale, but… it didn’t. Just pretend it got stuck in a complicated time loop and spent the last 3 years in 1977.

***SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE LOST SEASON 5 FINALE***

Jack Shephard is off his fucking nut. He’s a few fish biscuits short of a box of DHARMA fish biscuits, if you know what I mean. Even if his plan to BLOW UP TIME works, he will essentially be making everyone’s life [but his own] worse. Charlie would still be a junkie and probably still be dead, Kate would be in prison, Sawyer would have no closure with his dad, Desmond would still be on the island away from Penny, Locke would still be in a wheel chair (i suppose you can argue that his new found sense of purpose and the ability to walk may not have been worth his life in the end), Juliette would still be a captive of Ben, Sun would have left Jin and Jin wouldn’t have stopped being an asshole, and Hurley… well, he always seems fine, so I suppose his life would be the same.

My new theory is that Jacob’s enemy, Fake-Locke, has actually been every dead island person who has appeared to anyone else. That includes Shannon, Boone, Christian, Claire, Hurley’s head-deads, etc. My guess is that he was unable to kill Jacob directly, so he had to trick Ben into doing it.

***END SPOILERS***

A couple of quick things:

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25 Comments

  4. Probably a question for the forums, but after seeing the season finale, I started to wonder.

    Are they insinuating that Jacob drove the bus that killed Juliet's ex husband? Because that's what it took to bring her to the island.

    • I interpret it as Juliet has no bearing on Jacob, his temporal influences or his endgame simply because he was not in her flashback.

      Juliet's flashback was grounding and reasoning for her change of heart regarding jack's island-nuking.

  5. > My new theory is that Jacob’s enemy, Fake-Locke, has actually been every dead island
    > person who has appeared to anyone else.

    And the smoke monster. Dear god lets try and tie up some loose ends… 🙂

    • Actually there may be something to that. The Smoke Monster seems to judge the people on the island, and Jacob's Enemy believes that people only come to island to corrupt and kill. The Smoke Monster may be him trying to eliminate corruption on the island.

      I do believe that the visions of dead people are forms of the Monster (which in this theory would make them forms of Jacob's Enemy). I don't think that includes Hurley's visions though. Jacob implied that those are a "gift", and I don't think he'd say that about his enemy. Only Jacob (and your doctor) knows for sure.

      • Those are some interesting points about the Smoke Monster. If Fake Locke (let's call him Brian since I don't think there's been a character named Brian on the show yet) is the Smoke Monster then that would explain why the Brian (as the Smoke Monster) let Ben live and told him to follow Fake Locke's direction. I think you're right in that Brian has also been fake other people too – Christian, Boone, and others. The Smoke Monster grabbed his enemies and pulled them underground – I can only assume that they went to the temple, where Brian kills them and is then able to duplicate their physical characteristics.

        So now we need to figure out where Jacob, Brian, and Richard (referred to as "Ricardos" in the finale) really came from, what their ties are, and where their magic came from.

        Damn Lost – a year without a new episode is too long! Next season is going to absolutely rock.

  8. Ha! I used the "Somebody set us up the bomb" line in the FB chat during the finale! I guess great minds really do think alike.

  10. Boy they totally made Jacob seem like perhaps he's some kind of god or something and the smoke monster is really a demon or devil or something. Granted I know this theory has been debunked by the creators of the show but still, I'm not convinced they know where they're going with that show so I'm not going to take anything they say without assuming its meant to at least throw us off.

    • Those are some interesting points about the Smoke Monster. If Fake Locke (let's call him Brian since I don't think there's been a character named Brian on the show yet) is the Smoke Monster then that would explain why the Brian (as the Smoke Monster) let Ben live and told him to follow Fake Locke's direction. I think you're right in that Brian has also been fake other people too – Christian, Boone, and others. The Smoke Monster grabbed his enemies and pulled them underground – I can only assume that they went to the temple, where Brian kills them and is then able to duplicate their physical characteristics.

    • I've been reading comments from the Screen Rant post, and researching references from its comments, for the past two hours. Really interesting stuff. Thanks for the link!

  14. Ricardos — I mean Richard Alpert — has eyeliner, and Jacob weaves Egyptian symbols and has ORGAN JARS in the foot of the destroyed Egyptian statue. This all means there's a mummy in play somewhere. Hopefully "they" who are coming are not aliens who pretended to be gods; that's such a cop-out ever since Stargate did it right.

    I've said, ever since I realized JJ was trying to get us to hate Ben, that he'll end up being the good guy in the end. And Sawyer's rant about Jack not thinking was SPOT ON. Rewatch the whole series, and you'll see Jack is just a guy with a hero complex trying to bring order to chaos, which in a postmodern story is exactly the wrong thing to do.

    Jacob is Chaos and Not-Locke is Order, just like The Matrix. The Blackrock destroyed the statue with their cannon.

    • I'd love it if the Incident caused the fertility problems on the Island with the resulting seismic activity caused by the nuke literally shook the Taweret statue down, thus creating beautiful symbology of the end of fertility.

      Personally, I still stand by my 2-season theory that Jacob is a Lemurian (not Atlantis – been done already, plus the island is Pacific) immortal charged with protecting the island from those who would misuse its advanced technology and everything we've seen is nothing more than a huge game of chess (or should I say backgammon) between Jacob and Esau (unnamed other guy) trying to off each other.

  18. "Desmond would still be on the island away from Penny"

    I don't think so. "The Incident" caused whateverthehell was happening in the swan, was it?, to need someone to press a button every 108 minutes. Blowing the fuck out of it would prevent that incident from ever occurring. There would be no need to press a button. There would be no need to staff that place.

    Hell, that might mean that the Dharma Initiative stayed on the island and wasn't killed by Ben. Who the heck knows, right? This could all be part of Jacob's dastardly plan. That line "They are coming" could refer to some co-incidental return of the guys from the 70's when the bomb changed what happened/happens and there is some kind of science fiction bullshit rubber band effect where they wind back up in the present.

    That means that all the insanity that happened to lead up to Jacob's death didn't happen and the only people that remember the alternate timeline are the people that directly experienced it. If the enemy of Jacob was surprised that the smoke monster told him to do whatever Locke said, then maybe it's a different entity. Or maybe the smoke monster IS Jacob and Jacob has planned for Locke to kill him and it's all part of this plan to really and truly win. Somehow.

    That leaves the question of who the fuck is Christian Sheppard (Jack's dad)- or at least, which creature / entity is portraying him.

    And now I've gone all cross-eyed.

    But, still- if the bomb actually changes what happened then Jacob may still be alive or incarnated in to someone else or something weird like that.

    And where the fuck is Alvar Hanso?

    -The Purple Pimp 🙂

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