Repulsive Behavior

Punned! (not to be confused with Pwned)

It’s 2:30am. Cheap puns are all I have to offer. All the trailers for “Iron Man” make it look like the type of thing I would want to see. At first I thought Robert Downey Jr. (RDJ if you’re nasty) was a bit of bizarro¬† casting, but that’s when I remembered that Tony Stark was a loathsome, womanizing douche-hole. So RDJ is perfect! I’m full on expecting the suit to have a coke-vac nose candy sucking attachment. A face-Hoover of sorts.

I never really read Iron Man comics. Eli read the Marvel Civil War religiously. Apparently Iron Man is the Cheney of the group. I did buy the issues where Tony “died” and his black friend took over the suit-duties and became War Machine. As soon as they resurrected Stark I lost interest. How is a brother supposed to make it in this super hero game if the white man keeps coming back from the dead to take him down. Do you remember Black-Superman or Afro-Flash? Of course not. That’s my point. Stark… like stark white. Now it’s all starting to make sense. I hate the white man so much.

So much.

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27 Comments

  1. @jovin6
    Im glad your researched proved me right because I was just pulling all of this out of my ass. My fallback was saying that it was PCP.

    @Peppy
    Every early Marvel character has to have a fatal flaw so they can be REAL. Peter Parker killed his uncle through negligence and hubris. Iron Man has a hear condition and substance abuse problems. Namor the Submariner was uninteresting talked to fish.

    Also, please site issues of Iron Man where he kills a hooker. Preferably brunette, 5’3″ and a medium build. I need it for….a friend.

  2. @Denise
    That and our love for balut and Soup #5. The white man especially hates traditional Philippino dishes. He REALLY hates purple yam ice cream served on a roll. GOD DAMN THE WHITE MAN!

  3. Not having read the Iron Man comics either, I would more than likely line up to see that, if it were something akin to your take on it.

    BTW, I love the expressions on the characters! Another note-worthy evolution. *thumbs up*

  4. Also, Afro-Flash needs to make an apperance. I don’t know how aerodynamic a fro could be on your head, but what the hell.

  5. @AJ
    Thanks. Im still working on it so expect some pretty frequent changes in the comics to come.

    @Jeff
    Thats just fucking bizarre (its Joel BTW). Also, as soon as I typed Afro-Flash, I was designing the costume in my head. Its going to be so bad.

  6. Why can’t you guys stop insulting me? You think Albinism is a fucking joke? You think it’s fun to go your whole life being called “The White Man,” or “Caspar, the ugly ghost”? Well, it’s not.

  7. Fucking A right they will Hammer-Rape the joy out of it! I’m still in denial over the crap-fest that was X-Men: The Last Stand! Awesome work as usual, and I really hope they use your “Stark kills a hooker” plot-line, but only if he tries to hide the body in a hotel mattress.

  8. “Hammer-rape”. Classic. And a very good description of what has been done to so many poor superheroes. Your comic continues to amuse and delight. Keep it up!

  9. I saw the preview, and I know I’ll take the heat but nobody else is defending it…it looks better than Elektra, punisher and Daredevil. doesn’t that count for something?

  10. Maybe its just marvel comic book adaptions. All the DC comic book films (apart from Constantine-but then it had kyano reeves in it so it had to suck) have been pretty good. But then from what I gather, in America marvel is loved and DC hated. Maybe its karma.

  11. @Chuck-“it looks better than Elektra, Punisher and Daredevil…” That’s like saying it looks better than herpes of the face. No it counts for nothing. As for it not looking that bad, I actually agree with you, but I thought X-3 looked good in the previews too, and we see how I got ass-raped for that optimism. Am I bitter? You betcha! (Sorry for the snark, its not really addressed at you Chuck, just a general dissatisfaction with comic movies lately).

  12. I think (at least, I hope) that Iron Man is gonna kick ass.

    “Hammer-rape” is classic, as is the LED fan on the chest. Where’d you even get that idea? Either idea, really. They’re both genius, but also bat-shit crazy (which often go hand-in-hand, I s’pose).

  13. @The White Man
    I hate you so much.

    @Not Mandatory
    Im pretty sure Stark would have a an entire 40 story hollowed out building where he just dumps the bodies. He pays a guy like $500,000 a year to stand out front and make sure no one goes in.

    @Scot
    Glad you are enjoying the comics. Not sure where I got hammer-raped from, but I guess walking about of SpiderMan 3 and X-Men 3 I felt a little like someone had forcibly inserted a claw hammer in my ass about 200 times. Maybe I should have mentioned that it was a claw hammer. makes a difference.

    @Chuck
    I agree that it LOOKS good, but the trailers are designed to be tricksy and false. I take all of this with a grain of salt. I also agree with Not Mandatory, that I’ve seen farm equipment accidents that looked better than Elektra and Punisher. Snake tattoos that come to life? Were they even trying?

    @reece
    When I was growing up you were either one or the other. Marvel or DC to the death. But only comics wise. Movies, toys and cartoons were another story. You could wear a Batman shirt and watch his cartoon all day but the comics were off limits if you were a Marvel Die Hard. Not sure if it was the same way everywhere. So I was a marvel only guy. In the early 90’s they just seemed to have more soul and less camp. Then Supes died. That changed everything for me. I got engrossed in DC and realized that I had been lied too. They did have more stereotypical “super heroes” but their books were just as good. Its too bad I wasted my prime comic years with only one publisher.

    Oh, we also though iMage was super bad ass because of Spawn, but in reality they were putting out more schlock-bullshit than anyone else at the time.

    @Dean
    There was a period that josh was putting an LED fan in everything. Someday I will post a page with all the projects we’ve done. We’ve modded and painted a few xbox’s, put an LCD monitor in a coffee table, built an arcade cabinet, etc etc. LED fans were everywhere.

    Also, if there were one more panel you would see that the fan operation killed him. He’s dead now.

  14. @Joel
    Listen, you stupid doodler, Jim Rhodes isn’t the kind of guy you want to fuck with. You act the part, but where are you getting your information from? Are you trying to spread lies about me? Here’s the deal: Tony didn’t die. He just became a raging alcoholic. Believe me, I’ve flown almost every suit he’s designed, and they’re not the type of machines you want to operate drunk. While he was in rehab, I took over for him. As Iron Man. I didn’t become War Machine until he faked his own death, and even then I was pretending to be Iron Man, wearing a suit we nicknamed “War Machine”. Once I found out that lying, alcoholic son-of-a-bitch had faked his own death and not even told ME? James Rupert Motherfucking Rhodes? After I covered his ass more times than I can count? Pretending to be Iron Man whenever he was too fucked-up to do it? Well, once I found that shit out, I took the suit and started calling myself War Machine. And now? I’m twice the superhero that he is and he’s fucking Darth Cheney.

    So, get your facts straight next time you feel like running your mouth, or we’re going to have a problem.

    @The White Man
    You better believe I’m going to kick your cracker ass.

  15. Robert Downey Jr as Tony Stark. When I first heard it, I said to myself, “Who better to play a recovering addict than someone who’s been there?”

    It’s like the opposite of all those critically acclaimed movies where the gay character is played by a famous straight actor, or vice versa.

    I have high hopes, solely based on the first part of the trailer where that arrogant SOB won’t SHUT UP! He’s over the top and he knows it, and he doesn’t care.

  16. @War Machine
    I’d probably have a come back if you didn’t have shoulder cannons.

    @BlueNight
    He really does fit the part, which is weird. Just keep thinking happy thoughts. If we all believe, it will be a good movie.

  17. just to keep up dcs side, there are more black heroes in DCs universe than marvels. hell there is even a black green lantern. And just to disrupt your arfo flash thought there is a black flash in the DC universe. Though he represents death, so perhaps not a great blow for equality. And joel thanks for the reply and to be honest, in some cases you are right. dc kind of only got its act together properly in the 90s onwards, though there was great stuff before like animal man, batman (of course) and superman and… basically i love DC, though i started reading in 1999 after they started getting really good so I’ve been spoiled.

    As for the death of superman, yes that was emotional. as sad as it is its one of those things you remember where you were when you saw it.Like Captain Americas death. Oddly enough civil war ruined marvels comics beyond redemption for me, as the bad guys won (see how Eli takes that)!

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