Marvel Comics Characters Saying Donald Trump Quotes


Ike Perlmutter, the billionaire CEO of Marvel, recently donated $1 Million to the Donald J. Trump foundation. I know that doesn’t mean Marvel as a whole supports trump, but it does make me think more about how my entertainment dollars are eventually used and also how Trump would fit into the Marvel Universe. Here’s a bunch of Marvel characters saying famous/infamous Trump quotes and tweets.

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Here’s another resurrected and recolored FANEURYSM comic. As I explained here, there are a few FANEURYSM comics that I don’t want to allow to slip into the void of the Internet’s hazy memory, and that fit in nicely with the aesthetic of Sharkzpode. You can see the original version HERE.

Of course all of this changes in Captain America: Civil War in which EACH AND EVERY character in the Marvel Cinematic Universe will be making an appearance. If the movie is two and a half hours, I bet there’s 40 minutes just taking role call.

Sharksploders: Which lesser know Marvel character deserves their own solo movie and why?




Super hero comics have a lot of problems when it comes to believable stories. Chief among them is when the there is a struggle and after all hope seems lost, the hero, or the hero’s weapon or the hero’s team is shown to be MASSIVELY powerful and effective in diffusing the villain or situation. Then the next time the hero or team faces a similar threat, they don’t just start with the final thing that worked the last time.

For instance, when you know one hero, let’s say Iron Man, wasn’t enough to get a job done on his own; that success was only achievable by putting ego aside and coming together with other heroes to form a team, then how do you ever go back to just doing shit on your own? When your contact list includes like 150 of the most powerful beings in the galaxy, how do you not call at least a couple of them whenever some nasty badness goes down? Have these guys not seen The Incredibles? There was a lesson!

Tuesday June 3rd is my birthday (I’m almost positive I’m turning 33). If you like to help me celebrate, please feel free to check out:

The Patreon is honestly the greatest thing you can do for me in terms of making sure I am still able to do HijiNKS ENSUE as my full time job. Otherwise, I’ll happily take an Internet high five via Twitter or Facebook.

This problem is occasionally solved by depowering a hero in some fashion, or knocking them completely out of commission while some lesser powered being takes over for them for a few months. Remember when Superman got turned into a blue energy guy for awhile? He’s really got it the worst when it comes to “too powerful to tell a believable story.” Before his powers were significantly reduced in The New 52, Superman could pretty much toss a planet around like a softball. He could have handled any problem thrown at him by any villain in under a minute. Until they depowered his body, they tried to keep him bound by his conscience. It made for good internal conflict I suppose, but in a world where Superman exists and the same villains are constantly killings 1000’s of people all the time with no ability to be contained and showing no signs of remorse, or of slowing down their reign of chaos he would just solve every problem the same way. Heat vision to the brain from orbit.

COMMENTERS: What superheroes do you think were too powerful, or at least shown to be crazy powerful, but then never seemed to use that power when it was most necessary? What about super heroes having their powers taken away? I nearly fell out of chair in 5th grade when Magneto ripped out Wolverine’s adamantium. I don’t think I could concentrate or eat lunch after that. Damn.


I also made you this super cute Adventure Time/Doctor Who shirt. GO BUY IT! 



Everybody Wants Prosthetic Foreheads On Their Real Heads


I am very bad at seeing movies right when they come out. As my parenting has gotten stronger, my ability to drop everything at a moment’s notice and go to a 1am showing of a movie where nerds are likely to be dressed up in cloaks and brandishing lazer swords has severely diminished. I am also bad at seeing a headline like “DO NOT READ THIS ARTICLE BECAUSE IT SPOILS THE ENTIRE MOVIE YOU REALLY WANT TO GO SEE IF YOU CAN FIND A BABY SITTER IN A FEW WEEKS!!!” and not reading it immediately.  I am my nerd enjoyment’s own worst enemy.

COMMENTERS: What’s the greatest length you’ve ever gone to in order to remain unspoiled? Given up the Internet? Severed friendships? GIVEN UP THE INTERET?!?! THE ACTUAL INTERNET?!?!?

Comments (39)

Yusaku777's avatar

Yusaku777 · 108 weeks ago

I actually made it through all three Star Wars prequels without ever seeing the trailers. I avoided everything possible, even the toys. And this was while I was working at Target. That was hard to do.

The biggest spoiler I got before one of the three movies? That Obi-wan grew a beard before the second movie. (Couldn’t avoid the graphics on the toy aisle end caps.)

5 replies · active 107 weeks ago

A buddy of mine bought the soundtrack for Episode 1 that came out something like 2 weeks before the film, and one of the tracks was called “The Death of Qui-Gon Jinn.” He said he’d never been angrier in his life (all 12 years of it).
That. Is. Fucking. Bullshit.
They did it on the Serenity Soundtrack too. Track 10 is called “Shepherd Book’s Last Words.” Of course by 2005, no one bought soundtracks anymore.
I was in uni during the prequels. Two months before Clones came out, a guy in class did a presentation and his background music was the unreleased (at that point) soundtrack. To make matters worse, he emailed everyone in class a copy of the script.

This is 2 months before the movie came out. God I was furious.

How he got those things, I have no idea.

Junkyard's avatar

Junkyard · 107 weeks ago

I actually made it through all three Star Wars prequels without ever seeing the films.
Haughty-helmet-wearing-hands-on-hips Joel is MY FAVORITE JOEL.

1 reply · active 108 weeks ago

It’s a permanent change. Glad you like it.
They Might Be Giants reference win!

2 replies · active 108 weeks ago

Rebecca's avatar

Rebecca · 108 weeks ago

Seriously! I was just remembering how much I loved listening to TMBG with my dad when I was in awkward pre-teen (and beyond). Even though Joel and I are the same age, he often reminds me of my dad in these nerdy ways that are also sometimes really touching.
Go to your room.
Athene's avatar

Athene · 108 weeks ago

When the LOTR movies came out, I refused to watch any trailers. I think I saw some stills, but that is it. Whenever a trailer would come on, I would change the channel or leave the room. If I couldn’t change the channel or leave, I’d close my eyes and hum until I was sure it was over. I’m actually really glad I did that because a lot of the wonderful visual moments were brand new to me when I saw the movies.

1 reply · active 108 weeks ago

I guess that’s different for me since when a movie is based on a book that everyone knows the ending to, I dont really consider it a spoiler.
My dad went to see Skyfall before me. He was going to say something about it but
I told him to shut up, because a mere mention of him liking it or not would tell me many things, as I know his taste in movies.

At the moment Star Trek Into Darkness is the only film I’m spoiler-shielding myself as I got to see Iron Man 3 last weekend. I should just go tumblr-free until I’ve seen it. I don’t watch trailers online, but mere seconds after any new material comes out, there’s a saturated gif set, fan art, frame by frame analysis and crossover with Supernatural or something. Tumblr savior is a thing, sure, but it only works if people tag their posts properly.

I’m going to see the Great Gatsby, but I read the book and Kate Beaton’s strips, so the only thing internet can spoil for me is the level of trainwreck.

As for Superman, I saw a Man of Steel teaser in the cinema and at first thought it was a gritty fishing drama, The Perfect Storm 2 or something.

2 replies · active 108 weeks ago

“My dad went to see Skyfall before me… that was 8 months ago. I may never speak to him again.”
Greg's avatar

Greg · 108 weeks ago

I prepared for my trip to the cinema with my wife to see Skyfall for her birthday by going the week before with a work colleague. I deserve a prize for keeping my mouth shut.
Being in that slightly niche position of being in the UK, but also liking NFL, for the 2012 Superbowl I had to record the match on the Sunday night, and wasn’t able to watch it until the Tuesday evening. So I spent 2 whole days ignoring every and any media possible – no internet, no radio, no newspapers, no TV. It was hellish, but I managed to avoid finding out the result.
I’ve so far remained almost entirely knowledge-free about Star Trek Into Darkness. No trailers, nothing. I did accidentally come across some headlines that mentioned a major plot point (which I assume is in the trailers) when I was looking for photos from the London premiere.

I haven’t really given anything up – just been extremely careful around any internet-mention of the movie.

90percentgeek's avatar

90percentgeek · 108 weeks ago

I’m holding off reading the Game of Thrones novels until after the TV series (and therefore presumably the books) are completed. Its one of the only adaptations where I hadn’t got to reading the books before they chose to adapt it to another medium. As such whenever I say I like the show and someone starts to say how it compares to the books I have to shut them down quickly but politely and explain I haven’t read the books and want to make my own comparisons once I’ve watched the whole show.

2 replies · active 107 weeks ago

Neph Sy's avatar

Neph Sy · 108 weeks ago

I’m reading a book after each tv season, so just read book 2. You could read book 1 and 2 and it wouldn’t affect your enjoyment of series 3.
Junkyard's avatar

Junkyard · 107 weeks ago

I found having read the books enhances my enjoyment of the series, rather than spoiling it. Great though the series is, the books are better, so I’d rather the spoiling happens that way around. Also, lots of little details in the series (which are barely explained) make far more sense with the background from the books.
Kiltmancomics's avatar

Kiltmancomics · 108 weeks ago

Google “Coolest Motorcycle Helmets” Ironman Is Among Them. As Someone Who Imdbs All Movies I Watch.. Spoilers Dont Bother Me..But A Load Of Movies I End Up Seeibg In My “Home Theatre” Via Redbox, Rather Than The Theatre, Because Of Schedules And Finances.. (Again, Sorry About Caps, All Words Seem Proper To The Android I Guess)
 Stephen's avatar

Stephen · 108 weeks ago

Spoilers don’t really bother me too much. I mean I don’t go seeking them out, but if someone lets something slip I’m not going to eviscerate them with my adamantium claws. The most important thing to me is not what happens but how it happens. It’s the journey, not the destination. Unless the destination sucks… then no amount of journey can save it.
The Black Dog's avatar

The Black Dog · 108 weeks ago

I have a few people who are being filtered out of my Twitter feed because they decided this year to start quoting lines from Mad Men as they are watching the new episodes. I can’t watch the episode until Monday so I don’t want to be spoiled.
ElNick's avatar

ElNick · 108 weeks ago

I’d been talking to this girl for a while; she’s hot, I think she’s a little into me too, the conversation’s flowing as great as ever, when:

‘Oh yeah I saw the Avengers on the weekend! -character name- dies, how sad.’

I never spoke to her again. On sheer principle.

skoby's avatar

skoby · 108 weeks ago

I was 13 when The Matrix was released and it was rated 15 here, I tried getting in to see it with some older mates but failed. Two of my friends at school somehow got to see it and I somehow managed to avoid any major spoilers right up until a week before it was released on video (didn’t have a dvd player yet lol) and then for some reason one of the teachers decided to use the plot of the matrix for a subject of an assembly somehow twisting it to a metaphor about Christianity and Jesus, everything from the humans being used as a power source, being betrayed by Cypher (yes they even said his name), Zion and Neo’s powers.

Totally ruined the film for me and I think I may be the only person here who enjoyed the sequels more than the original, as disappointing as they were at least I didn’t see any spoilers.

bionelly's avatar

bionelly · 108 weeks ago

I don’t really worry too much about movie spoilers – the whole responsible-parent thing, combined with a general lack of funds, means that I almost never see a movie less than a month after it comes out (and the vast majority wait until they’re on Netflix) and by then it’s pretty much a lost cause. If I have to wait a few days to see a TV episode I’ll go into “internet quarantine”, though – I don’t stay away from the internet entirely, but places like this, tumblr, fan forums and news sites are off-limits.

3 replies · active 108 weeks ago

I manage to make it to the theater about 6 times a year. I like seeing a movie when it’s new, but I find the overall theater experience pretty dreadful. During Iron Man 3 a woman behind me was explaining the entire movie to her 10 year old THE ENTIRE TIME. She never stopped talking at a normal volume.
Those are the worst types of people.
Rebecca's avatar

Rebecca · 108 weeks ago

At least you know she is going to the special hell.
Connor's avatar

Connor · 108 weeks ago

So far during every Saturday since the second part of season 7 of Doctor Who I give up the internet until I have seen the episode. As for movies it is hard to stay away from spoilers when I have a sister who won’t ever stop spoiling stuff like Iron Man 3 to me. I wish I had that helmet for those times.
I wanted to be absolutely surprised for the very last YJ comic issue, so I stayed off Tumblr and twitter the whole day. I know that sounds like a small task but I work from a computer ALL DAY, so the temptation was right there the whole time. It was worth it since the last two pages had moments for my favorite pairing ever.
MichaelH's avatar

MichaelH · 108 weeks ago

I rely on stupidity and bad memory to remain spoiler free for something. A UK Sci-fi magazine back in the day spoiled the Angel/Buffy huge plot twistfor mid season 2, ages before I saw Buffy on normal BBC TV. Infact I think I got the video from Blockbuster ahead of series 2 being shown, and was surprised. Then went ‘oh, wait… duh’

Recently, both a friend and I were completely blindsided by the villain reveal in Dark Knight Rises, despite having heard the character name and person who played them being revealed in the starting run up to the film, before it was even realised this was a spoiler.

I go the other way and deliberately spoil stuff for myself assuming I’ll never see the TV show, etc in question, and then later decide to get in to it 🙁

Currently the furthest I go to be spoiler free is giving up twitter until I’ve seen the newest Strip Searched. I even braved twitter when I hadn’t seen the latest Doctor Who. Though that was because it was a stand alone episode. If it had been the final episode… well, it’s easier to just watch the darn thing no matter the tim of night/morning than avoid the internet for too long!

Neph Sy's avatar

Neph Sy · 108 weeks ago

I do close my eyes, cover my ears and hum a tune when I see a commercial or promo for a show or movie I am looking forward to seeing. Working at home makes a difference, I don’t pass by newsstands or hear people conversing on the bus or at the “office”, since my office is my basement.

The less plugged in you are the easier it is to avoid spoilers; no tumblr, no twitter, and I avoid Yahoo news at times. For reality show contests like Survivor, Project Runway, and Idol, I no longer watch Entertainment Tonight or other entertainment news shows, that cuts down on the chance of the finales being spoiled until I have a chance to watch them. Even managed to record the Oscars and watch it two days later, without any knowledge of who won.

I managed to avoid being spoiled on the dark knight rises for almost 2 years

1 reply · active 107 weeks ago

The Unknown FB's avatar

The Unknown FB · 107 weeks ago

Alfred did it.
BlackBunny's avatar

BlackBunny · 107 weeks ago

I stopped reading this comic (and started avoiding all forms of internet geekery) because I couldn’t bring myself to watch Doctor Who series 7 part I until January and I was afraid of spoilers (I didn’t want my time with the Ponds to end!). While I managed to stay spoiler-free, I alienated several friends who wanted my opinions on the series. It was a dark, humourless time.

Might Club (His Name Is Phillip Coulson)



Thanks to Joss Whedon, we can now utter Phil Coulson in the same breath as Tara and Wash. Whedon really knows how to go straight for the heart, which is funny consdering each of those characters were “the heart” of their show (maybe less so with Tara), they were ACTUALLY shot IN the heart (with a bullet, a giant pike and a magic spear) and their deaths hit us, the audience, right in the heart (specifically in the area governing the FEELS).

I know Coulson will make at least an appearance in the new S.H.I.E.L.D TV series, but I hope they find a way to bring him back as more than just the occasional flashback. I don’t, however, hope this means the whole series would be set in a world before The Avengers. I’d like to see a team of post-Avengers S.H.I.E.L.D agents making passing references to “the big green guy” and “the pompous ass in the robot suit. Maybe Coulson will be an A.I. construct the team consults with. Or perhaps one agent is studying Coulson’s video logs to learn more about his methods. Or maybe he’s the god damn Vision. Who knows. All things being equal, Joss is probably going to use Coulson as his personal Kenny, and find a different, more brutal way to kill him in every episode.


COMMENTERS: Are you glad that Coulson is returning (in some unspecified capacity)? How would you like to see his character used in the new S.H.I.E.L.D show? Why does Joss Whedon love to see us cry real human tears? Outside of the Whedonverse, which character deaths in TV, movies, comics, books or otherwise hit you the hardest? Please use the SPOILERS!!! tag if it’s a current series or a popular book series that people are still reading.