La Cucaracha

I’ve been making alternate versions of my recent comics with NEW JOKES and posting them exclusively for my Patreon Patrons. I posted 5 DIFFERENT VERSION OF YESTERDAY’s COMIC and opened it up for all to see!!!!

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They’re HERE on my Patreon FREE FOR EVERYONE!

Dearest Sharksploders, please help me get my Patreon over the $2000 hump. Comics is my full time job, but it doesn’t currently pay full time money. Every little bit helps and is QUITE appreciated.


This is a no joke thing that happened to me (and probably everyone else whose ever had an allergy test). It was… disconcerting to say the least. It took me forever to realize why they even test for cockroach allergy. I mean, I didn’t plan on eating all that many of them, or grinding them up into a protein shake, or letting them entomb me in a sarcophagus made of their exoskeletons or whatever. Days later I realized that bugs make up large portion of the dust in our homes, so cockroach brand dust might be especially shitty for people with cockroach allergies. I feel like the smart thing would be to do rails of that sweet cockroach dust off a mirror in a bathroom stall in order to build up a super immunity.

What if they figured out the cure for blindness was to inject cockroach dust straight into your eyeball 6 times a day? Would you do it? I bet your eyes would be able to survive a nuclear holocaust, so there’s something for the plus column. TWO things, actually, because you also got your sight back. Of course, you DID lose all your friends and family because you metamorphosed into a disgusting monster. I don’t mean your physical appearance changed at all. It’s just, who wants to associate with someone who has dusty roach eyes?

Let’s finish this off by collectively pretending I made a joke where the punchline was “….seeing through ROACH colored glasses!” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHwhatever.

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  1. Personally, I’d be more worried about them sticking a needle in my eye than what it contained at that point…..

    Organic matter is used for all sorts of things. Hell – cochineal is used as a dye in many products, and it’s made from ground up beetles….

  2. When I was a kid I had a heap of these tests because the results were always that I was allergic to everything.
    Took them a while to figure out my skin flares up when pricked.

  3. Here’s another fun fact to horrify you and your friends! When you smell something, your body is actually absorbing tiny particles of whatever you smell. Think about that the next time you’re in the stall next to someone taking a massive dump.

  4. Inhaling dead cockroaches is the least of it if you have a bug phobia. We all have tiny little spiders living in our pores, and sometimes, when your skin itches, its not because its dry, but because the spiders crawl out to mate all over your face. There’s nothing you can do about it either, there’s no way of getting rid of them. All of us have face spiders, all the time, forever. Until we die, and other bugs show up to eat our rotting flesh.

  5. So, you did not “plan on eating all that many of them”, but still some of them? That is what I took away from that paragraph.

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