La Cucaracha

I’ve been making alternate versions of my recent comics with NEW JOKES and posting them exclusively for my Patreon Patrons. I posted 5 DIFFERENT VERSION OF YESTERDAY’s COMIC and opened it up for all to see!!!!

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They’re HERE on my Patreon FREE FOR EVERYONE!

Dearest Sharksploders, please help me get my Patreon over the $2000 hump. Comics is my full time job, but it doesn’t currently pay full time money. Every little bit helps and is QUITE appreciated.


This is a no joke thing that happened to me (and probably everyone else whose ever had an allergy test). It was… disconcerting to say the least. It took me forever to realize why they even test for cockroach allergy. I mean, I didn’t plan on eating all that many of them, or grinding them up into a protein shake, or letting them entomb me in a sarcophagus made of their exoskeletons or whatever. Days later I realized that bugs make up large portion of the dust in our homes, so cockroach brand dust might be especially shitty for people with cockroach allergies. I feel like the smart thing would be to do rails of that sweet cockroach dust off a mirror in a bathroom stall in order to build up a super immunity.

What if they figured out the cure for blindness was to inject cockroach dust straight into your eyeball 6 times a day? Would you do it? I bet your eyes would be able to survive a nuclear holocaust, so there’s something for the plus column. TWO things, actually, because you also got your sight back. Of course, you DID lose all your friends and family because you metamorphosed into a disgusting monster. I don’t mean your physical appearance changed at all. It’s just, who wants to associate with someone who has dusty roach eyes?

Let’s finish this off by collectively pretending I made a joke where the punchline was “….seeing through ROACH colored glasses!” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHwhatever.

People With Idiot Cat Brains: A Bug

Hey! It’s another “People With Idiot Cat Brains!” Here’s the previous installmentsWhen my cat, Tivo, was young he would catch grasshoppers, chase them around the house, then systematically maim them, reducing their mobility and life expectancy a little bit at a time. Finally, he’d take it one step too far, bop it pretty good on the thorax or whatever, and stare puzzled as to why it was no longer half-hopping and spastically twitching around our living room.

When my Patreon hits the next goal ($2000), I’ll start making Patron-only exclusive monthly comics! Your $5 a month can make that a real thing for real!


Nowadays, both of our cats will just sort of sit in one spot, transfixed on a moth or junebug that’s made its way inside. They are infinitely interested in its activities, yet infinitely disinterested in moving their lazy asses in order to effect any change on its circumstance. If it happens to cross within an arm’s length radius of one of the cats, a couple of quick bops, and it’s a motionless pile of formerly-a-bug. Then they stare at it for another couple of hours for good measure.

Here’s a T-Shirt I made about how much people care about fictional depictions of long past interstellar conflicts.

HijiNKS ENSUE I have opinions about Space Wizards - Star Wars t-shirt