If This Battlestar’s A-Rockin’

Sometimes he makes her wear an eye patch and call him “The Old Man.”

Isn’t it about time these two frakked? Or do you believe, as I do, that Adama and Roslin have been knocking space boots since New Caprica? Or are you of the opinion, as so many unfortunately are, that you have no idea what this comic is about because you don’t watch Battlestar Galactica (shame on you, bad geek, BAD GEEK!)?

I know ultraspecificSPLODE comics like these are bound to alienate a vast number of you Fancy Bastards, but BSG has nearly run its course and I have to get this stuff out of my system while it’s still relevant.

Even if you don’t know the specifics of the Roslin/Adama relationship dynamic, you can still enjoy the fact that two old people are banging in space. That’s Grade-A Hotness right there. To make it even nastier, the lady involved is bald and dying of cancer (queue the “bow-chicka-wow-wow” music)!  I know, right? If you are too turned on to continue reading this, feel free to stop here and go have some sex.

……….

Did I mention the dude portion of this futuristic elderly sexcapade has a face so leathery and scarred with pock marks, craters, cracks and crevaces that it looks like the Moon and an old couch bad a baby? This pairing is oozing with sexual intercourse appeal… and probably some BenGay.

[Credit goes to Eli for coming up with the de-cornered condom wrappers. That shit is gold.]

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92 Comments

  1. So gross and so awesome….Not sure what to say…

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  2. Ahahaha. All I have to add.

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  3. well…..That was Disturbing. Yet awesome.
    Disturbingly awesome ? wut ?

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  4. so say we all

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  5. They're both just after a good frak.

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  6. Getting a handjob for round 7 sounds like a pretty decent deal to me.

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      • He's just hot for teacher!

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        • So say we all, Shawn, so say we all.

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  7. oh god why did I have to be eating when I read this….

    Related note: did anybody else notice that HotDog is starting to inherit the Olmos Canyonface?

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    • All Olmos males are shot in the face by Dick Cheney upon reaching adulthood.

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      • Shot in the face….ewwww bad choice of words give the comic topic. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit…

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        • at least he wont get it in her hair.

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          • Hahahahahahah!

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    • That's just because he's the next version of the Husker model cylon.

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  8. Since I've yet to watch BSG, I'm just going to go ahead and assume this comic is hilarious with the proper background. So good job Joel!

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  9. I made this knowing good and well that non-BSG people would have no idea what it was about, but BSG ends soon so I have to get these out of my system while I still can. Also watch BSG.

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  10. That was so frakkin' worth the wait.

    Does anyone else think Bill and Laura have actually been doing it since New Caprica, and this is just the first time they've let us see it? Or am I just a repressed slash writer? I mean, it was one thing when I assumed that about Mulder and Scully, but when I passionately argued that Lister and Rimmer were doing the nasty off-camera, my friends started getting a little worried.

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    • Oh totally. I think they've been knocking space boots since the occupation.

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    • No, I actually agree with you. I think the Battlestar's been rocking for at least a season and a half.

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    • According to the official podcast, the actors always assumed this as well.

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    • I'm a total geek for saying this, but slash is a subset of fanfic that deals with same-sex relatioships. So, you're not a repressed slash writer, but a repressed fanfic writer.

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  11. LMFAO..You just made my night, corner cut condoms too…frakkin A!

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  12. I'm impresssed with how quickly you got the frakking strip up.

    And SEVEN times? Damn. I feel lucking to get two a night and i'm 25 years younger than him. (starts looking for vitamin C)

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    • yeah, number 3 is always like a dry heave.

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      • On that note, how about Roslin slips on a light-brunnette wig and makes ol' Moonface call her "D'anna" for the next go-around?

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        • Both funny and disturbing. And a little hot. Oh, I'm a sick puppy.

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  13. This is frakkin' brilliant! Great touch with the condom wrappers, too.

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  14. Bald president there kinda makes me think of bald Ripley from Aliens 3.

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    • The comic and the scene reminded me of Ilia from ST:TMP

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  15. And if the "5 Delegates" get tired, there is always the "Final 5"…

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    • I cant tell you how close I was to using that joke instead, but it broke the continuity.

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  16. You're just a repressed slash writer. :)

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    • Fair enough. I think more slash writers should be repressed. I knew I should suppress the impulse way back in 1989 when I wrote some V slash.

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  17. So if there were 6 "payloads" where are the other 2 condoms or did they just go au natural?

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    • nobody knows! (and I got tired of drawing condoms)

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      • Condoms? Shouldn't they be trying to repopulate the human race or something? And they've totally been together since new caprica….

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  18. i-i feel so dirty now. 0_o

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  19. i-i feel so dirty now. 0_o

    …and a little turned on….

    i didn't type that!

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  20. Oh god i feel just as gross reading this as I did watching it.

    She could have at least had the decency to wear the wig.

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    • Adama was wearing it until climax #3.

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    • Is it the old sex, hetero sex, sci-fi sex or bald sex that's made your stomach turn Josh?

      Personally it's the thought of Bill's cum face that's knocked me off-kilter a little…

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      • The Edward-James-O-Face?

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        • AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
          My eyes! MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!! What in the gods' names have you made me think of??!!!

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      • Oh ew. I'm pretty kinky but that… (shudder)

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    • Just imagine that She's Mr. Clean and everything will be ok.

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  21. Hell yeah! Get it, Laura. *grin*

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  22. This was fucking funny, but didn't at all make make me hate BSG any less.

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    • at least BSG made this comic possible. Thats sort of something.

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  23. WOW! Great job!
    I fucking love this show! Adama and Roslin are the best shit ever. They can fuck each others brains out till the universe collapses. How much ya'll wanna make a bet these two end up saving the whole fucking world? ROCK ON!

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    • assuming there's a world to save. They've had 14 (counting New Caprica and Earth That Was) and they havent managed to keep one planet in working order.

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      • 15 counting Cobol

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        • Did that super nova blow up Cobol? I dont remember. If not, why not just go back and live there. Seemed like a nice enough place. Better yet, why not go back to new caprica and make it work?

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      • "and Earth That Was"

        So the Firefly appearance in the pilot wasn't just an in-joke! It all makes sense now!

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  24. Im going to talk to Ron D. Moore and Durex about putting those into production.

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  25. She probably couldnt get into it until she stopped the meds. Now Adama's like "Yeah you probably dont need any more treatments. you'll probably be fine. Lets go frak some more."

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    • "This'll cure your frakkin' cancer!" and so on…

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      • I'll also whiten your teeth!

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  26. Just……So funny no acronym in the world could express how dementedly hilarious this is. By the way I think Olmos/McDonnell have to be the best old couple in Sci-fi…..nay, the world. Maybe if Mother Teresa and Pope John Paul II shagged they could beat out Olmos/McDonnell, But it would have to be some kinky shit.

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    • Like involving the pastoral staff and Rosary beads?

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      • Come into my rectory…

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    • Lwaxana Troi and Odo is a pretty good pair of old scifarts too.

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  27. My guess is they ran out, but ruled that in a state of emergency, they are reusable. Disgusting, I know. There was splashback.

    Btw, thanks for this comic. It rocked my face so hard (and the wife's). We're still on season 3, and have been for a while now, but have picked up watching it again recently. This comic made my week.

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    • Watch it quickly and you might be able to catch up to the new eps.

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  28. Hahahaha! wow, this is excellent. I love Adama's expression in the third panel

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  29. Joel, you're killing me man. I just managed to sear that image out of my brain, and then you just go and put it right back in. I was all for them hooking up, but I really didn't want to see it. shiver…

    BTW: great idea on the condom wrappers but doesn't that break the BSG law on baby makin'?

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  30. Oh.. My.. God.. Thank you for that.

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  31. Oh My… *vomits*
    Every bit as disgusting as the actual scene. While I can appreciate the scene for having allowed this comic to exist, I still wish they had never included it in the show.

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  32. Bald guy from King of the Hill? Also named Bill.
    The more you know ★

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  33. Is that Adama or Casey Kasem?

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  34. Is that Adama or Casey Kasem or Jamie Farr?

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  35. Just wondering, what with the corner-cut condom wrappers and all, are the actual condoms similar? Octagonal, for her pleasure!

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    • You are a sick bitch, Bruce, you know that?

      "Feel my octagonal, admiral command penis you slag!" or shall I stop crossing BSG with The Mighty Boosh now?

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    • Actually in this universe, their dicks are octagonal, as are their vaginas.

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  36. Something about Adama's face makes me think of the bald guy from King of the Hill…
    'Frakking' awesome comic though! Made me chuckle most heartily so it did!
    Kudos to Eli; the cut corners do make that last panel something special!

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  37. The condom wrappers were a nice touch. Good show. This is classic, and will get you a lot of traffic from us BSG Frakkers.

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  38. hahaha… love it… i took your advice and watched BSG Season 1… LOOOOVED it…. i'll continue on it pretty soon

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  39. Aww, I wish they sold condoms like that!

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  40. Gross and awesome all at the same time. Good job Joel! I'm glad I wasn't the only one kinda grossed out by that scene. I mean, hooray for them and all, but I was happy without the mental image.

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  41. I love you. Please have my babies.

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  42. It probably wouldn't have mattered anyway. Those eggs are certainly shriveled up after all those Diloxin treatments.

    Oh Gods, that picture's back in my head, aagghh

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  43. That's the plan – gonna watch episode 7 right now. Meanwhile, thanks for not spoiling the hell out of everything too much in the main podcast, but I heard things in the post-show that made me push the stop button and claw at my brain to erase the knowledge of… well, stuff that I can't type here cuz the wife would kill me. I've caught a few things before, but now I had a real big mindsplode. Trying hard to ignore and forget. Not that I'm holding a grudge against you guys for talking about junk, though.

    Anyway, will be watching lots these next few afternoons to get caught up.

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  44. If I remember correctly, Adama once had Roslin arressted & tossed in the brig. Ya think they might get a little kinky in there? Maybe the safe word is "mutiny"!

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  45. She's dying. So, condom wrappers? Really?

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    • Well, exactly. Who'd want morning sickness on top of chemo nausea?

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  46. I am SO happy I started to watch BSG, so I get this. I've only seen the Miniseries, and most of Season 1 though..

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  47. I think they're both really hot! Mary McDonnell is such a gorgeous woman, even bald!

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  48. So say we all!

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