Historical Fiction

I dedicate this comic to Paul, who seems to actually enjoy this stupid-ass show.
Heroes Con 2010 in Charlotte, NC

HEROES CON in CHARLOTTE, NC is THIS WEEKEND!!!
Here’s a handy map that I made so that you can easily locate your favorite webcomics artists on Indie Island.


Also, TODAY IS MY FREAKING BIRTHDAY!!! I am 29 years old for the first time ever!

If you are a Fancy Bastard living in NC:
1) COME TO THE CON 2) TELL ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY 3) BUY SOMETHING (from me)* 4) TELL ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN 5) Repeat until one of us passes out
*in lieu of buying something you may also just give me cash, a present or a home made desert item. I’m not picky.

If you are not in NC, then why not drop a b-day donation in the e-tip jar, or pick up some lovely geek swag from the HE Store? That would be like a present for me AND YOU! A happy birthday memory we can share.

If you choose not to do any of these things then maybe tell a friend about HE, or share a happy birthday wish via Twitter.

I really wish I could show you what Josh made me for my birthday, but I think you’re going to have to wait for HE book 2 to see it. I hope to start preorders on that this summer.

SciFi SyFy Tv-Movie Title Generator Shirt

Science Fiction TV-Movie Title Generator T-Shirt @Topatoco!!!

There is also a PRINT of this design too!

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43 Comments

  1. Ancient astronaut theory's been around for a while, but got kinda popular in the 70s with Erich von Danniken's "Chariot of the Gods?" which was made into a very dry documentary. A lot of the "proof" used by these theorists has been debunked…but let's be honest: "Aliens did it" is slightly more feasible than "some big old white guy with a ZZ Top beard did it from his crazy cloud palace full of winged naked babies".

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    • I still don't see why either "Aliens did it" or "ZZ Top Sky Wizard" are more believable to people than "natural forces over billions of years." Makes perfect sense to me, and I haven't even read any Richard Dawkins.

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      • I didn't say it was more feasible than…well, than what actually happened. To be fair, though, "Aliens did it" is also a lot more fun to think about.

        (But now I'm tempted to go through a Bible and replace any instance of "God" or "Lord" with "ZZ Top Sky Wizard"; I think we could build a cult around this.)

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    • I totally believe in our goa'uld/atlantean masters that gave up pyramids, Atlantis, Arthurian legend, and chlorimidians…sorry, wrong sci-fi thing.

      I also believe in a jelaous/angry, yet omnipotent, omniscent, occasionally omnevolent (or omnivorous) being who summoned forth his son from a virgin's womb to hang out with some other guys, get killed, come back to life, and ascendened to a heaven of seraphim/cherubim/Angel(abim), who will open seals and pour forth lambs blood via 4 guys on horses.

      Or, there's the Flying Spaghetti Monster…or the Ages of Man…or… take your pick, get a tax shelter, and declare a jihad/fatwa on whomever argues with you. Just don't draw cartoons of your chosen deity.

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  2. The Bible Code shows are the worst of all, the rest of them are at least entertaining.

    The Necronomi Code = up,up,down,down,left,right,left,right,B,A,start.

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    • LOL! You almost made me snort the homework I'm not doing.

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  3. Wow. Really freaking funny! And Happy Birthday!

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  4. Joel, you were so caught up thinking about dessert you spelled it 'desert.' Happy birthday by the way.

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  5. The US history channel has lots of Hitler, too? I thought this was a German phenomenon (Germany has exactly 3 instances of history: the Nazis, the RAF terrorists, the GDR. They take turns). National history documentary dude Guido Knopp did so much stuff about Hitler, he even arrived at “Hitler’s Dogs”, two hours of portraying nazi pets. It followed “Hitler’s Women”.

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    • Oooooh yeah. U.S. war buffs fraggin love WWII. Toss in an enemy so thoroughly vile that you can paint it as a black and white conflict, add a pinch of "we're the sole reason the allies won" national mythology (every Ally nation except *maybe* NZ has one), and you get prime masturbation material for machismo wankers who think they'd surely earn themselves a stack of medals if we could just have another grand old war like that.

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    • Have they done one on Nazi flowers, foods, or favorite drinks?…I hear some new shows for the Fooooood Network: "Das History of der Nazi Kenuckhen!"

      Or we start a H3 (History of Stuff Cubed) channel…"Just like a Hummer, we've got too many channels that clog up your cable box and don't do anything useful…"

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    • There's one about– I shit you not– what medications Hitler was taking called "High Hitler". The name ALMOST makes up for the overuse of faux-psychedelic effects.

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  6. I saw this show about a year ago, and found it very interesting. Whether or not its actually true, it is a somewhat believable theory.

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  7. Happy 29th Joel!!!!!

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  8. Maybe Joel really /wants/ some home made desert items… like those lamps made from cactus skeletons or one of those ashtrays cast from a real, live rattlesnake.

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    • We can't bring food into the convention, but they might allow cacti and animal bones!

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      • You just have to stuff the food in your pants, where security can't see it.
        Just don't tell Joel how you smuggled it in.

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  9. I love how the history channel these days has little to do with actual history, unless it involves Hitler. I was watching one of its many UFO shows the other day man can they find some serrious wack jobs.

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    • I'm just waiting for some Hitler fan-fic show to air.

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    • Saw PoP in the theatre with my date last night, and then got home to the same ad on TV for the H channel's new "marksman's/shooter" show? Whatever it's called…

      They can do one on Nazi gun collectors, or aliens that gave Nazi's guns, and so on.
      Much like Joel's strip the other day about the TV execs, you know someone is getting paid to think of that stuff, and it should be me. Or you, if you cut me in as your agent.

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  10. Two things:

    1. The last frame of that comic would make an AMAZING print.
    2. I would love to bring you a cake or some other type of dessert for your birthday, but we aren't allowed to bring food into the convention center.

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  11. The History Channel man reminds me so much of Ben Schwartz. Hilarious!

    Happy day of birthings as well. Wish I could visit the con, but I'm in stupid hot Florida.

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  12. sad to say despite living in NC I wont be able to attend the con D:

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  13. Hitler Hoarder drinking game: Drink anytime someone says "You don't know Mein Kampf!"

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  14. Coincidentally, SyFy did something similar…

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  15. My favorite History Channel shows are the ones that have aliens with the Nazi's.

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  16. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! 😀 I think they're next show is about Hitlers Ghost and his effect on the rise of Neo Naziism.

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  17. Happy Birthday Joel. I don't have any pumpkins for you yet, but you never know…

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  18. Very funny comic. "The Nostradamus Effect" – when educational TV gets dumbed down because most viewers want light entertainment.

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  19. Happy Birthday! :) You're _almost_ old…

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  20. YAAAAAY!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOEL :D!

    Also, I'd watch the Hitler Hitler channel. You can never have enough WWII documentaries. Oh, wait..

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  21. I know we talked about this before, but I still can't believe they tried to explain how the Ark of the Covenant could be buried in trenches made by aliens in Canada.

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    • That's too damn funny!! I'm deeply honoured that Yahweh and the aliens would choose Canada.

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  22. Still laughing at "Ghostradamus", especially the expression on his face… "The horror! The horror! (of prime-time History and TLC programming)"

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  23. So now the history channel prime has about as much to do with actual history as MTV has to do with music.

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    • +1 to you, sir

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  24. To take your comment 1 step further, and to quote Lewis Black: "MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken."

    Believe we can now make a Mad-Lib out of that sentence…"MTV is to music as <commerical product offering of any type that isn't what it's make says it really produces> is to <actual product you would get if people making it were sane-ish>

    Try it a home instead of strip poker with Uncle Gladys…fun for the whole family.

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  25. "Run out of Hitler?" made me chortle. Chortle indeed. I loved the history channel eight years ago, but it has only harmed itself since then.

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  26. Holy frijole! I'm just now seeing this one – LOL

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  27. There's still HI (History International) for all your real-world, mostly-not-Hitler-related historical viewing enjoyment.

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