Extinction Level Event

After Monday’s near miss, it’s only a matter of time before we are gently nudged into oblivion by an asteroid. Despite what the movies tell you, no amount of Bruce Willis or President Morgan Freeman can save us. The last one missed us by 41,000 miles. 41,000 miles is the width of a galactic taint hair. As a species we are doomed and I, for one, welcome our new Gay Mole Men Overlords. I would get on their good side now. If they intend to keep the species going, they are going to need some breeding stock.

Short post, because I’m leaving for Austin for the weekend to visit family. I’ll be walking around STAPLE for a while on Saturday. Say hi if you see me there.

I also want to mention that as of today, reader donations and artwork auctions have fully paid for my flight, and hotel expenses for Webcomics Weekend. Thank you so much, guys. This means more to me than you know.

-Joel

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56 Comments

  1. FIRST!
    "… huffing the cat box?" "Let me get this straight, no pun intended;" Eli had some of the best lines in today's strip and Josh had the craziest ideas. Joel, great job again & let this be a warning; keep anything that creates so much as a strange odor away from Josh, unless you need joke-fodder.

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  2. Josh! How dare you reveal Contingency Plan Epsilon Zeta Three?

    You know it's going to be harder to get them to dig tunnels now that they're expecting it.

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  3. That's right. Thats what all that leather and bondage gear in 5XL is for…

    We'll be the cutest underground road-warriors evar!

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  4. Thank god they'll need my woman powers to be able to repopulate. Perhaps I won't have to dig any of their tunnels if I'm pregnant (which is worse than digging tunnels, to be honest).

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    • What are they gonna do? Aim roughly in your direction? Isn't that how salmon breed…the blokes just spray everywhere and hope for the best.

      While I think about it, isn't that how humans do it too?

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      • I'm praying to god that the new gay bear overlords will be way more clean than straight males. Hopefully, they will use science, and artificial insemination, rather than doing it God's way.

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  5. "41,000 miles is the width of a galactic taint hair."

    Thank you for clarifying this, as my measurement scale seems to have been slightly off.

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    • who's taint hair?

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  6. is "digging tunnels" a new metaphor for…

    nevermind.

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    • Bless you for not finishing that thought.

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  7. It's kinda gratifying to know that should the world meet some post-apocalyptic Mad-Maxian future, I would automatically get an elite status as a card-carrying sodomite of the bear persuasion.

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    • Brings a whole different perspective to "The Rapture"

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      • "Rapture, rapture
        When love's votary,
        Flushed with capture,
        Seeks the notary,
        Joy and jollity
        Then is polity;
        Reigns frivolity!
        Rapture, rapture!"

        I'm a singing bear!

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      • Actually, I think I went to a circuit party back in '02 called that.

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  8. Yes, we'll have to move to underground cities, but only until Queen Starsha offers us the Cosma DNA and we launch the Argo to stop the Gamilon planet bombs. So that's something to look forward to.

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    • r u huffing the cat box too?

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  9. Mmmmm, tunnel digging!

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    • Also referred to as "spelunking".

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  10. But we all finished it for her, right?

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    • Alas my gf's tunnel is off limits…. :(

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  11. Fabulous and Cute Gay Mole Men Overlords – isn't that the theme for TBRU this year?

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    • That's the theme for EVERY year.

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      • And it's bigger, better, and furrier than ever!

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  12. I forget, who all signed up to cater the apres-asteroid party?

    We're all set for the Mr. Holocaust contest (winner gets 5 extra "tunnel diggers" for a week).

    And setup for the pool party is coming along fine. Filters have been cleaned and we've bumped up the chlorine levels for … you know.

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    • I vote for Buffalo Wild Wings!

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  13. Wasn't that the plot for "A Boy And His Dog"?

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  14. Josh is totally cheesing his brains out! Bear friends hide your cats!

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  15. Yeah and the sun 2219 taint hairs distant. It's a commonly accepted measurement in the gay Astronomy community.

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      • Why do you think they're so interested in Uranus? 😀

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        • I don't think she's their type 😛

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          • Ha ha ha, I was about to say, I don't think they're interested in my… LOL. yeah.

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  16. And while I'm quoting:

    The human language is like a cracked kettle on which we beat out a tune for a dancing bear, when we hope with our music to move the stars. —Flaubert

    Get it?? "Flau-bear"!

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    • *Rim shot*

      *Pained groan from the audience*

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  17. I sense the first hit post apocalyptic tv show
    "Extremely fabulous cave makeover!"

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  18. You mean you don't want to be the centerpiece of a big bear circle-jerk?

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  19. An onomatopoetic word, if ever there was one!

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  20. Heheh, you said "rim shot"!

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  21. Umnomnomnom. Unless "Buffalo Wild Wings" means something _else_ to you kids today. In which case … I still say umnomnomnom.

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    • "You kids?"

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      • <old fart>Anyone younger'n me is a kid.</old fart>

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        • I'm 27 (as of next Friday). Surely you can't be much older.

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  22. that didn't cross my mind the 1st 3 times I read this strip
    ALso, Denise, what's going on between u & Eli in real life, if u don't mind me asking? You guys appaeared in quite a few strips together w/o thing 1 or thing 2

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  23. we've covered this. personal life details of the people I exploit in order to make this comic are off limits unless they offer them freely.

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  24. I wish an asteroid would hit Joss Whedon. Ep 4 of Dollhouse sucked balls.

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  25. so….he's thought this through, then?

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  26. Much as it pains my ego, "much" is probably the right word: I'm 45. <panicked screams as folks flee the old man in the forum>

    And stop calling me "Shirley"!

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  27. Heh, comments look weird. Freaks me out.

    Anyway, I introduced a guy at work to HE, and he’s been reading the archives. Yesterday, he told me he was all caught up, and just realized “one of the guys in the comic is a homosexual”…

    So yeah, I thought that was pretty wicked, that he’s read the entire run of HE so far, and this is the point where he gets that Josh is gay. I’ll admit, I don’t remember when I figured it out exactly (it’s not like the comic states “JOSH IS GAY” in big red letters, it’s just that Josh… well, he’s Josh. And he happens to be gay. Possibly in big red letters.), I just figure it’s been out there for a while.

    Anyway, I just wanted to say that I happily submit to the rule of our new masters, going so far as to say that I welcome the Golden Age of the mole-bear-men. Of course, I believe my general shape and furriness should allow me to blend in easily enough.

    Incidentally, in the new society, will there be chanting and some sort of drum-based communication system, or is there a fabulous alternative of which I am unaware?

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  28. Ah, the comments look normal now. Order is restored in the universe etc etc (but my comment still didn't show up 😛 oh well).

    Anyway, I introduced a guy at work to HE, and he's been reading the archives. Yesterday, he told me he was all caught up, and just realized "one of the guys in the comic is a homosexual"…

    So yeah, I thought that was pretty wicked, that he's read the entire run of HE so far, and this is the point where he gets that Josh is gay. I'll admit, I don't remember when I figured it out exactly (it's not like the comic states "JOSH IS GAY" in big red letters, it's just that Josh… well, he's Josh. And he happens to be gay. Possibly in big red letters.), I just figure it's been out there for a while.

    Anyway, I just wanted to say that I happily submit to the rule of our new masters, going so far as to say that I welcome the Golden Age of the mole-bear-men. Of course, I believe my general shape and furriness should allow me to blend in easily enough.

    Incidentally, in the new society, will there be chanting and some sort of drum-based communication system, or is there a fabulous alternative of which I am unaware?

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    • Gods. I *know* I type too much, but I can never seem to stop myself. It might be a condition.

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      • Thats funny because I introduced a gay coworker to this comic recently.

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        • It sounds like you set your coworker up on a blind date with HijinksEnsue, which actually would be the best blind date ever.

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  29. ROFLMAO! This made me do an honest to god spit take I was laughing so hard.

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  30. President Freeman…now there's change I can believe in.

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