Decaf Just To Recaf Pt. 2

Part 1 is HERE.

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I’m about 3 or 4 days into my new caffeine free situation. I am happy to report there have been very few headaches, and also very little joy, happiness or hope. Also there have been a lot of headaches. Since giving up the Devil’s additive, I have noticed my appetite has gone down a bit (from “WAY TOO LARGE” to “medium too large”). I wonder if I just always wanted a snack to go with my soda or if the caffeine was actually affecting my hunger. I do know it was dehydrating me like a mother eff. I suppose it isn’t normal for your eyes to make a crackling sound when you blink. I’ve taken to soaking contact lenses in aloe and putting 3 or 4 of them in each eye.

Mostly I am just annoyed with how difficult it is to find caffeine free alternatives to the drinks I enjoy. That’s a real problem, right? I mean, it’s got to be up there somewhere on the hierarchy of basic needs. First it’s food/water, then shelter, then… what like some sweet bros to hang out with, maybe a lady friend or two, then a ready supply of decaf Pepsi Max followed by self actualization. I think I remember that from sociology class.

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39 Comments

  1. And when you take into account that artificial sweeteners in diet sodas actually counter natural hunger mechanisms and make you eat more you realize that you were better off with all the sugar you could snort.

  2. It's generally a lot easier in Australia, I don't think we've gotten to the saturation point with caffeine you guys have over there. Soft drink doesn't have caffeine in it here, unless it's cola, and diet soft drink is pretty decent tasting.

    There's also water. You know, it's not just for washing in anymore.

  3. Sparkling/seltzer water isn't too horrible of an alternative to soda. It's cold and fizzy, and only tastes mildly like your soul being ripped out! Otherwise tea works pretty good, especially in cold weather.

  4. I've quit a lot of things cold turkey and the only one I keep coming back to is caffeine. Despite numerous positive effects from quitting like not feeling like a walking corpse as soon as I wake up and not getting twitchy eyes and heart palpitations I always seem to work my way back up to a pot of coffee or more a day. Its like the shittiest rollercoaster ride ever.

  5. I just quit caffeine myself last month, switched out an expensive vanilla coke habit for healthier (and cheaper) apple&cranberry juice. No added sugar, no artificial flavours, and most definitely no caffeine. Tastes great, though.

    Switched entirely within a few weeks. I didn't go cold turkey, I started cutting off the caffeine at set hours (5pm, 3pm, 1pm, etc.) until I reached one cup a day. Then I started automatically pouring juice instead of that one cup. Even my subconscious was trying to get me off of that stuff!

    I still had coke left though, and I hate waste, so I tried a glass, a few days after quitting. I was vibrating after only a sip. I gave away the rest of the coke.

    I feel so much better now, though. I never really believed the dehydrating powers of caffeine until I stopped. I don't know how I survived long enough to quit, coke was the only thing I drank for years.

    • Someone on twitter told me not to quit and to "take all things in moderation." That really only applies to things that arent 100% bad for you like caffeine. There are no positive benefits at all, unless you are looking for a cheap stimulant (which I am not). Vitamin B does a better job at that anyway.

      • Not entirely true. Caffeine helps a lot of people relieve headaches. (No, not just caffeine withdrawal headaches, wiseasses.)

        Anyway, by that logic, you should quit alcohol too, which IS 100% bad for you. (Of course, if you're drinking booze on a daily basis, you probably have bigger things to worry about than caffeine…)

        • I've got to admit that caffeine is the only thing that reduces the pain of my migraines. Outside of morphine that is, and my doctor is reluctant to dish that out for some stupid reason.

            • Well my head is large, I am rather morbid and John Cusack is set to play me in a movie so I'm going to call it a win anyway. 🙂

            • Didn't know that. Hmm… Might have to check my doctor's credentials.

              On a related matter, does your doctor massage your prostrate to take your temperature? Cos its a little embarrassing in the waiting room when he does that.

              • My prescription migraine meds include caffeine. I once understood just how it all works (especially since caffeine is bad for normal headaches), but that was years ago in my neuro psych class.

            • I tried the caffeine free diet recommended for my migraines. Didn't work, made things worse. After about 6 weeks on the diet, my doc told me to go back onto the caffeine. I picked up a Mt. Dew on the way home. 🙂

          • It's the antioxidants released by fermenting grapes that are healthy. Ethyl alcohol is still poison, which is why you vomit if you drink enough of it.

  6. Hijinks EnsNu? I'm picturing SuperEli cradling a dead SuperJosh ala the cover of Crisis On Inifinite Earths #7. (FlashJoel is in the background melting into the Caffeine Force). Josh is, of course, wearing the headband and miniskirt.

    I demand to see that. I don't have a subscription, but if that were to appear in the Vault, I would absolutely pay for it.

    • I only got hooked on Diet Mountain Dew because there was no diet Ecto Cooler (or as they called it when I was a kid, "Citrus Cooler"). Now I can finally start working on my bastardized diabetic-safe version! Thanks!

  7. I miss Josta. I wonder if it was just the scrapings of bathtub meth chucked into a cherry cola. Maybe it was the blood of a long-dead Mesoamerican god.

  8. I would go with Caffeine Free Dt Dr Pepper if it's available in your area. I too drink only diet sodas, though I don't shy away from the caffeinated varieties. Diet Colas do indeed suck. I don't know how you feel about diet sodas that are fruity; I think they're pretty good, and most of those are caffeine free. Talking Diet Fanta / Slice / Crush or whatever. Some of the flavored Diet Rites are real good, the white grape and the black cherry and stuff. I think the Dt Mt Dews are good, though the only one in caffeine free is the regular citrus, and in my opinion that is the worst of the bunch there.

  9. I once had a doctor tell me I took enough caffeine every day to kill an elephant. I used to crush vivarin up and mix it with pretty much everything. I quit cold turkey a few weeks ago, and despite the days of soul crushing headaches and depression I came out of it pretty well. I started taking B vitamins to help with the energy thing since I still don't get enough sleep and that helps alot. I do find that I don't like soda as much but I keep going back to it on the days I feel really run down. But the fact that I've come down to 2 or 3 a week is very good. I also started drinking sprite whenever I crave the sugar and fizz. It helps too. But seriously, try the b vitamins, it really does help. I've been pairing it with extra C since everyone has been sick at work and I feel great!

  10. If I remember correctly, caffine is actually a poison that plants developed as a self-defense mechanism to keep bugs from eating them. It's just a quirk of evolution that it gives humans a bit of a rush instead of attaking the central nervous system, shutting down the heart and lungs like it's supposed to. Man, nature is a MAD SCIENTIST!

  11. Years ago, I was drinking 1 liter of Coke every day. Which eventually started eating through my teeth and my stomach and my, for lack of a better term, good outlook on life.
    I gave that up pretty easily. Switched to 20 oz of Coke a day. Which was all right.
    I switched to caffeine free Coke for a while, but then that was hard to find in a store.
    Then I switched to water, unless I happened to find my favorite soda (Mello Yello) in a store. I lost 10 lbs simply from that switch. It's awesome.
    I still have a soda every once in a while – maybe twice a week, but usually more like 1 every 2 weeks.
    My blood pressure has gone down from removing all the unnecessary sodium from my diet.

    • I've also used Coke to remove rust from hinges, nails, and other pieces of metal.
      It's also good for running experiments in alternative energy, subspace communications, and scalding old ladies who can't handle caffiene anymore.

  12. Doesn't anyone drink regular black coffee anymore? Call me a stick in the mud, but I don't get why it's all about sugared/sweetened soda.

    My worst buzz was a couple of months ago, when I discovered a sale on some caffeine shots (150mg caffeine in 89 ml bottle, thats around five ounces of caffeine in a three oz bottle). Acidentally had two the first day, including my regular intake of coffee. I had a little bit of trouble sleeping a few days after that.

    • I can't drink coffee, it amps the acid in my stomach up so high that it makes all of me too acidic. Even my eyes burn. I love tea, to a point of obsessiveness but due to the staining it's causing my teeth I had to lay off until I get the braces off. Mountain Dew White Out was my poison of choice until the acid in that started eating my teeth too. That was why I finally got off the sauce altogether

  13. Red Bull is gross, this obsession people have with caffeine and being wound up is something I just don't get. It's not that I won't ever drink coffee, but I most coffee tastes awful and does a number on my stomach. I won't say no to a few coke/pepsi Slurpees in the summertime, because at least it isn't carbonated (blech!)

    Mainly I drink water, treat myself to herbal teas (tissanes), or fruit juice. If you've ever had real ginger tea in a chinese restaurant, made from boiling ginger root, it is awesome, especially when you don't feel well as ginger settles the stomach. Mint teas are relaxing and great when you have a cold.
    I highly recommend Chais, sometimes I just skip the tea, and heat up some milk with Chai spices and add some sugar. It is yummy and puts me right to sleep.

  14. The first 3-4 days are the worst; congradulations on getting past them 🙂

    Caffine does actually increase appetite. It's the same with sugery foods. They have a high Glycemic Index (high-GI) so when ingested, they release their energy into your body quickly. This is why you get that instant buzz. Caffine also stimulates the production of adrenaline, which increases your metabolism, and endorphins which suppress your appetite (so while in effect your appetite will go down).

    However, because Caffine releases it's energy quickly, you also run out quickly (and adrenaline and endorphin production stops). And when they run out and you crash, your body gets hungry because it's missing the high energy input it's grown used to in the past couple of hours.

    There are a couple of other factors too;
    – When you crash your body triggers stress hormones (cortisol), and stress can lead to overeating
    – Many caffine users are compensating for not getting a regular 6 hours sleep. When you overtax your body your appetite increases to compensate.

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