Computer, Activate the EHB

I’m almost always oblivious to the fact that everyone didn’t grow up as engrossed in Star Trek as I did. I have to stop myself from making obscure TNG, Voyager and DS:9 references dozens of times a day.

“Oh man! You just got owned! Chaka, when the walls fell! Oh Snap!”

See? That’s a great burn, but no one knows what I’m talking about.

“That fuckshit just cut me off! What’s he trying to do? Execute the Picard Maneuver?!

No one gets me.

Anywho, that’s why I have such mixed feeling about CNN’s new “hologram” technology that they showcased during the election results coverage. It’s like they want us to believe they’ve traveled into the future, stolen advanced technology and brought it back to impress us. The visual trickery they are employing is closer to bullet time than holograms, anyway. They are basically using a mix of green screen, bullet time and camera syncing to achieve the illusion of a hologram. The person interviewing the photonic being can’t actually SEE them at all. Therefore this is balls and no one should pay attention to it.

I’m glad to see that I wasn’t the only one that noticed that Anderson Cooper doesn’t know his “Trek” from his “Wars”. When Chief “Lady Lumps” Correspondant, Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas, referred to the hologram effect as “being just like Star Wars,” Cooper followed up with “yes, it’s just like Star Trek. We’ve beamed you in.” To which Mr. I.Am responded, “No, I mean…(must correct SciFi Faux Pa. No, Will.I.Am, there will be another time, pick your battles wisely).”

Can I coin the term SciFaux?

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10 Comments

  1. Finally! another matt Groening show reference!
    also, Another Josh Dies!
    Also, Do you like jurassic park, sphere or ER? Michael Chrichton is DEAD at 66 years old from Cancer. I must say it everywhere, i loved his novel pray, i fell in love with it

    *baby laughther* i ruined your day……*Baby laugther*

    • i hated ER, Crichton's writing sucked, and your misspelling of Prey is the only thing that really ruined my day. Though the concepts he had will be missed.

  2. Seriously, that hologram effect was cheesy as fuck, of the calibre of the first superman movie bluescreen flight, I assume they'd applied some high-contrast grain filter over the incoming video on purpose to try giving it the whole Oba-Ma Kenobi effect. Why, in that case, not just go the whole hog, and go mad with the cyan-filter/50% alpha/oodles of flickers and glitches?

    And the news guy anchor dude (whoever) kept going on about it, like he was reliving his younger brother's childhood dream (obviously NOT his, as he hadn't a twatting clue WTF he was going on about), like he was reading from a script.

    Anyhoo, congrats on electing a decent president, Amuricans. Can we still keep taking the piss out of Caribou Barbie though?

  3. "Chaka, when the walls fell." is still the only Star Trek reference I get from direct viewing. Darmok is the only episode of any Star Trek that I have ever seen. (I watched it for my Linguistics 101 class. Yes, my professor is awesome.)

    One day this will be remedied.

    Anyway, this is actually my first ever comment on HE. Good job! 😀

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