Computer, Activate the EHB


I’m almost always oblivious to the fact that everyone didn’t grow up as engrossed in Star Trek as I did. I have to stop myself from making obscure TNG, Voyager and DS:9 references dozens of times a day.

“Oh man! You just got owned! Chaka, when the walls fell! Oh Snap!”

See? That’s a great burn, but no one knows what I’m talking about.

“That fuckshit just cut me off! What’s he trying to do? Execute the Picard Maneuver?!

No one gets me.

Anywho, that’s why I have such mixed feeling about CNN’s new “hologram” technology that they showcased during the election results coverage. It’s like they want us to believe they’ve traveled into the future, stolen advanced technology and brought it back to impress us. The visual trickery they are employing is closer to bullet time than holograms, anyway. They are basically using a mix of green screen, bullet time and camera syncing to achieve the illusion of a hologram. The person interviewing the photonic being can’t actually SEE them at all. Therefore this is balls and no one should pay attention to it.

I’m glad to see that I wasn’t the only one that noticed that Anderson Cooper doesn’t know his “Trek” from his “Wars”. When Chief “Lady Lumps” Correspondant, Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas, referred to the hologram effect as “being just like Star Wars,” Cooper followed up with “yes, it’s just like Star Trek. We’ve beamed you in.” To which Mr. I.Am responded, “No, I mean…(must correct SciFi Faux Pa. No, Will.I.Am, there will be another time, pick your battles wisely).”

Can I coin the term SciFaux?