ArmNomNomNomNom

So, cannibalism?  Haven’t done that yet, have I?

If you are desperate for context, read about the man with the magical piGxie dust finger, then read about how it probably never happened (or at least not how you would think).

Josh’s relationship with bacon is a long and lustrous one. Whether he’s eating a Baconator from Wendy’s (I’d like to point out that the word “Baconator” is derived from the word “Terminator.” As in the robot sent from the future to kill John Connor and lead the Republicans of California. Think about what that implies regarding the sandwich in question), or mainlining bacon greese into his eyeball (which is really the only way he can get high now) he’s usually… well, ingesting bacon. Like always. If they offered a complete bacon transfusion, he would be in the trials. If it was legal to marry bacon (is there gay bacon? Gaycon?) he would lawfully wed, then devour is crackling, sizzling bride.

Much like Tony Stark needs an electromagnet near his heart to keep the shrapnel out, Josh requires a similar device to prevent the years of bacon build up from strangling his aorta. If it were also able to power a suit of robo-bacon armor, villains worldwide would fear the crushing might and delicious aroma of BACirON Man. Or Iron Bacon, or Cast Iron Skillet or whatever.

Hmmmm…. a bacon super hero? I might be on to something.

UPDATE:
Clown Face Ham!

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45 Comments

  1. OH MY GOD A TALKING CHAINSAW!

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  2. "Now let's to teriyaki."

    I don't know if that's a typo, if you meant "let's DO teriyaki," or "let's MOVE ON to teriyaki," but something about it tickles me just the right way. Fortunately, I eat enough teriyaki that I'll be able to use it. A lot.

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  3. Though I fixed the typo, "to" does make it sound more formal.

    "Now, let's away to Teriyaki and the promise of ultimate flavor!"

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  4. I think you referenced cannibalism in one of the Lost comics with Hurley talking about staying fat by eating all the Others, or I could just be dreaming that. This reminds me of a recent story on the Escape Pod podcast where the main character was some kind of weird sex/worship slave whose skin was modified to enhance flavor and people worshiped by eating meals off of his body. With more chainsaws.

    Everything's better with more chainsaws. What other things make everything better? Hummus, peanut butter, sex dwarves. Anything else?

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  5. Teriyaki and the promise of ultimate flavor!

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  6. Speaking of Teriyaki (this is a longshot), anyone in the Denver area have a recommendation for good teriyaki? I can get pretty decent Thai food out here, but in 10 years I have yet to find anything above just passable teriyaki. I've pretty much given up looking. But whenever I go back to see family in Seattle, a trip to Nasai is always on the schedule, sometimes multiple trips. So I'll see Josh's BACirON MAN and join forces as TERIYAKIron MAN, with my sidekick, The Potsticker!

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  7. Dude, so what happened to the first arm?

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  8. Oh yeah, and had this been incorporated five comics back? -Hilarious. More so, anyway.

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  9. That is the noise exactly. The movies and television have gotten it wrong all along.

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  10. I dunno… my stomach's kinda churning with this one. I think it may have been some food poisoning from bad pork I ate yesterday.

    Then again, cannibalism's never really been my sorta thing. Had I been born a carrot, that'd probably be another story…

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  11. Jeezus, spoiler alert? I haven't seen the damn movie yet!

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  12. So now Josh needs to do the other arm in pancake batter, one leg in syrup, and the other in eggs and he can provide a fully balanced breakfast

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  13. Oh god, you got the marbling and everything. I wonder if Eli is man enough – or bacon-mad enough – to even eat the deformed claw that Josh's hand has become.

    I love how he's peeking through his fingers as the chainsaw edges closer…

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  14. Reminds me of my days at Eton! A hearty breakfast of bacon arm before buggering the house boy! Pip pip, cheerio!

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  15. Nice omage to DOOM with the chainsaw and OH MY GOD I'M A DOOM FREAK (starts sobbing)

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  16. So…..who's holding the chainsaw?

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  17. Its either bolted to a table or being held by a friendly gnome. Take your pick.

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  18. Hmm, xkcd ran a bacon-themed comic last Friday. Coincidence? Or did that comic lead you to the glorious revelation that you can indeed cook bacon anytime you want, and you haven't been able to think about, much less eat, anything but bacon ever since?

    I'm currently in Japan, where bacon does not exist. They have something that they call bacon, but it is in fact a mockery of bacon. It is to bacon what Mystic Quest was to Final Fantasy VI.

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  19. Naw, Josh told me the original story at lunch before CAPE on Saturday. His love for bacon is nothing short of legendary so the idea that bacon proposed some sort of fountain of youth for him seemed fitting.

    Diesel Sweeties does a lot with bacon from what I hear.

    If Japan does not have bacon… that just… it explains everything.

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  20. Wait, so all chainsaw depictions are doom homages? Seek help.

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  21. I wish they would have cut them off and made jerky.

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  22. You just wrote a much better 4th panel for this comic.

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  23. If you are referring to Iron Man, saying Tony must wear the suit because he has a bad ticker is like saying Batman's parents are dead, or Superman doesnt like Kryptonite.

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  24. If the comic makes you throw up, take a picture. That would be a first for me.

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  25. This is a good question. One best left to the ages. THE BACON AGES!

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  26. As far as Hurley is concerned, we all have bacon appendages.

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  27. And who's holding the chainsaw? Though given its stature and angle, well–Iron Man, indeedly.

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  28. Yah, I was mostly kidding. I've never been a big Iron Man fan, so I didn't make the connection regarding his glowy blue tech-lectromagnet thing right away.

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  29. I LOLed at "obviously". In the same panel, I love how he's covering his eyes yet still peaking through. He doesn't wanna see it, but he really does.

    Mmm… arm bacon…

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  30. I have to agree – that would've been hilarious.

    New superhero: Saw-Off-My-Appendages-So-That-They-Regrow-With-More-Flavor Man.

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  31. I have a similar relationship with bacon. And gravy. I have an IV bag full pumping it into my veins at all times.

    And I can't believe you mentioned Freddy Got Fingered/Tom Green without mentioning his battle with ADD, and its hyperactive cousin, ADHD.

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  32. The chainsaw should have said "TURKEY CARVER"…

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  33. i love that the chainsaw's sound effect is "chainsaw" freaking brilliant!

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  34. Its not like he had a choice. Science demanded it!

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  35. Lick the book. Lick the Book. Book Book Book Book…

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  36. … hello, Evil Dead? Evil Dead was the inspiration for the chainsaw in the first Doom to begin with, so without Evil Dead there wouldn't be a chainsaw in Doom.

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  37. i tried the bacon grease thing. my lord, it's sp beautiful.

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  38. Dude, seriously?

    "Somehow the matrix summons the cells and tell them what to do […] where they need to go, how they need to differentiate – […] become a blood vessel, a nerve, a muscle cell or whatever."

    The matrix tells them what to do… really? XD

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  39. Gay Bacon Strips.
    Ultimate meal time or something.

    I will name my first-born "Muscles Shades"

    Reply

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