Interspecies Diplomacy

If you see Predators (to which I give a solid B* on the UJWF Scale) try to image the whole thing is taking place just on the other side of Pandora. The parallels between the two films are both striking and mostly nonexistent unless you, like me, like to imagine fictional crossover subplots during movies.

If you are a fan of Predator and subscribe to the view that after the original no additional films were ever made containing Predators or their various adversaries (Aliens, Danny Glover, etc) then you should be able to enjoy this film. That is, as long as you set your sites squarely in the “I hope it’s pretty good” zone.

Here’s a quick, spoiler free breakdown:

Visuals: A – The (seemingly) limited use of CG was refreshing. It was nice to see some practical effects and some guys-in-suits that were still believable. Of course the Predadogs (Predoodles? Targs?) and spaceships were CG but the movie didn’t feel like there were 100’s of effects shots which gave it a nice, stripped down atmosphere similar to the original.

Acting: N/A – Doesn’t matter. Most of the cast do just fine but spend the entire film acting serious or scared. The rest of the time (which is the majority) they are shooting, running or dying. Topher Grace probably turns in the best performance but that isn’t saying a lot.

Story: B – The initial concept of the “game preserve planet” is very cool but the story doesn’t really progress past that point. That’s not entirely a bad thing, though. The movie just establishes it self right away then gets immediately to the “kill or be killed” reality of being stuck in the Predators’ play pen.

All in all I enjoyed it, but less for the content of the film or more for the fact that I was having an oh so rare night out with friends. Take from that what you will.

POST YOUR SPOILER FREE THOUGHTS IN THE COMMENTS!

*A grade of B on the Unified Joel Watson Filmitological Scale denotes a film that should be seen in the theater by those who already have an interest in the film or it’s genre, are single, without child and having copious free time and money to burn. Those of you with children (ie limited free time/no spare cash) should wait for DVD.

The Magic Blaster Theory

NEW LoFiJINKS Podcast!!! [here]

If you want to support HE, please READ THIS.

Holyfuckballs, San Diego Comicon is in 2 weeks.

I watched some of the revamped/ruined Original Trilogy on SpikeHD this week. Every time I see the Han/Greedo exchange I think about how there must be conspiracy theorists on Tatooine that know what really happened to Greedo. You’ve got altered tapes, gunfire at wrong angles, wounds that can’t be accounted for, dozens of witness but few corroborating stories. It’s a classic cover up. I think Lucas is Castro in this scenario.

Confused? Seeking clarification? Read Han Shot First and Back And To The Left.

[Science Fiction TV-Movie Title Generator T-Shirt @Topatoco!!!
There is also a PRINT of this design too!]

SciFi SyFy Tv-Movie Title Generator Shirt

A Dramatic Recreation

IS THIS COMIC SUPER-CONFUSING? READ THESE ARTICLES 1st THEN COME BACK FOR LAUGH-TIMES:

NEW LoFiJINKS Podcast!!! [here] and If you want to support HE, please READ THIS.

Poor Mel Gibson. The media has really blown his rampant Jew-hating, misogyny, n-word using (they run in packs now?) and general horribleness out of proportion. Give him a break. He’s only human. A despicable, racist, hate-filled human.

I hope you (those of you in the US) exercised your right to make explosions for freedom yesterday. My wife and I took our 3 year old daughter out into the sticks and left her there with nothing but a hatchet and a compass. If she finds her way home she will get her medicine name and be recognized at the tribal council. Wait. No. We took her out there to explode things because that’s what George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and the other one would have wanted (there were 3 founding fathers right?).

Saturday night was our first attempt at explosiberty, which was thwarted (I shit you not) by a stray cow in the road which attracted a cop. The cop, in the midst of all her shooing and “YAH! GET!”ing of the wayward bovine, noticed us and informed us that though there were 400 fireworks stands along the highway there was ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE within 100 miles that we could utilize them for their intended purpose. We then drove a few miles down a darker, scarier more “dueling banjos” type of road and sang “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” while our daughter made air circles with sparklers.

Sunday night we met a friend and his daughter and went to our town’s fireworks display shindig by the lake. The airborne explosives were as majestic as the cover band playing that night was awful (they were majestically awful).

Special thanks to Fancy Bastard @Hermetic for suggesting the name of Eli’s firework.

Update: Mel Gibson Admits to Hitting Ex on Tape

Tight Pants And Tiaras

!!!IMPORTANT FANCY BASTARD NEWS!!!

hijinks-ensue-godspeed-you-fancy-bastard-book

July 1st – July 31st will be your LAST CHANCE to get a PERSONALIZED HE BOOK 1 ARTIST EDITION until the 2011 holiday season!!!

ORDER NOW or forever (or for like 6 months) hold on to your funds!

After July 31st you will be able to order the book through my Topatoco store in regular and (non-personalized, as in “pre drawn”) Artist Edition flavors. If you want something special in your HE book 1 you must act nowish.

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Thanks to FB Michael for suggesting the setting for this comic based on me started “Couch to 5K” yesterday. And bigger thanks to Spike for suggesting that I get off my ass and get some exercise. I think I will do a podcast with my initial impressions of C25K after the first week.

I don’t really give a crap about Wonder Woman’s new costume or rewritten past. I stopped reading Marvel and DC super hero comics (by which I mean comics featuring the standard roster of characters that have been around for 30-60 years) when I was 13 or so. The traditional comics industry is a bit like a dog that eats it’s own shit. Continue reading