The Adverse Effects Of Climate Change

LAST CHANCE FOR “KEEP YOUR LAWS OFF MY OVIPOSITOR SHIRTS”!!!
They are only $15! They will never be printed again, so get ’em while you can.

Thanks for forgiving Monday and Tuesday’s absent comics. My wife and I had been working on Book 2 for 5 days straight with very little sleep and I just didn’t have the energy to create anything else. The good news is we turned the files over to the printer yesterday afternoon and then I went to sleep for 12 hours. All that’s left is for Canadian book-witches to magic them into existence. Then frost giants will carry them by the pallet to America, and I in turn will ship them out to you. It might be more like early March instead of late February. We’ll see how quickly the Canadian are able to etch each page into living stone and earth (this is the only way Canadians know how to make books). The best news of all is that I was able to accomplish 100% of what I set out to do with the book. I am extremely proud of it, and I think you will enjoy it. You can still PREORDER BOOK 2 if you haven’t already. This will be one of your only opportunities to get an artist edition other than at conventions.

Speaking of barren, icy wastelands: IT IS AS COLD AS A WARLOCKS BALLS IN DALLAS! The city, which is supposed to be playing host to nearly a million visitors this week, is for all intents and purposes shut down. People up north talk about us like we’re pussies because we freak out when we get an inch or two of snow. The reasons we freak out are A) we lack to infrastructure to navigate the snow (shovels, sand trucks, snow chains, patience, kindness) B) The news tells us specifically, in no uncertain terms to start freaking out. The treat it like the end times, and encourage us to resort to hoarding and survivalism. C) You can’t shoot snow and ice, which is the default way Texans would solve most problems. I mean you CAN shoot it, but it’s still going to be there long after you’ve run out of ammo (which is saying a lot in Texas).

Yesterday I watched a recycling truck attempt to turn around in my cul de sac and get stuck. The driver’s only recourse was to spin his 6 enormous tires at full speed for 20 minutes while the massive vehicle remained completely motionless. I can only assume he was hoping the either the friction or his frustration would eventually melt the ice.

Returning to the idea of a million sports type people helping to cripple our newly Arctic metroplex, I saw a commercial last week that aimed to teach Dallas natives how to treat our visitors. It featured some Dallas Cowboy dude… Tony Roma? No, that’s a restaurant. Whoever he was, he informed us that soon we would be playing host to a million Superbowl enthusiasts, and that we should show them how great Dallas is by treating them with respect and kindness. I seriously got the impression that he was saying, “Look, Dallas, the neighbors are coming over for dinner and you better not act like a bunch of monkeys – jumping all over the furniture and screaming like animals. We are trying to impress these people so they want to come back again, and I’ll have NONE of your shenanigans.” I also kind got this subtext message of, “I understand these people aren’t necessarily Cowboys fans. Please… PLEASE do not assault them, throw things at them, hit them with bats, run them over with your pickups, or murder them in any fashion. Just as a favor to me, Sportsguy McGee.”

They’ve also been doing rolling blackouts all over Dallas since yesterday because the power company can apparently cool six million homes when it’s 108 degrees all summer, but can’t heat those same homes when it’s 17 degrees with a windchill of 1. I have a feeling all of the power is being diverted to an array of space-based blow dryers that are aimed directly at Cowboys Stadium. You know… priorities and all.

The B-S-G-B-I-B-L-E

ONLY 20 UFE’s LEFT AND ONLY 4 days left to get them: There are 20 Ultimate Fancy Editions of the book left and the files must be fully proofed and turned into the printer by Sunday 1/30/2011. Once those last UFE’s are sold I will have covered 100% of the printing costs + all other book-related expenses. PLEASE HELP me make this thing a success. 4 days! We can do it!

BOOK 2 PROOFREADERS UPDATE: You will likely get the book in a slightly unfinished format by Friday night and will have to have it back to me within 24 hours. Just a heads up.

When Battlestar Galactica (I accidentally just wrote GalactiviA, and then thought that would be a good name for space-yogurt that makes you poop)… eh’ hem… When Battlestar Galactica first started I remember being excited that the only real difference between the crew of the BSG and modern day man was that they could travel between the stars. Other than that their technology was actually LESS advanced than ours. A big part of that had to do with them being aboard a 75 year old ship and the fact that all ships with modern (modern for them) tech were destroyed in the attack on the 12 Colonies. With no lasers, androids (sort of), holodecks, super-computers (at least not on their ships) or even any aliens BSG had to rely on believable, relatable, compelling characters to suck you in. That and space battles with evil robots. That was also a big part of the appeal in the early seasons.

In retrospect the show really ran out of reasons for the characters to be interesting after season 3 and resorted to crazy stunts, and plot twists that really didn’t make any sense (al la LOST). Be that as it may, the show was incredibly original for a sci-fi serial drama and made me rethink my definition of science fiction. Or at least adjust my perception as to what I expected from the genre. I was raised by Star Trek: TNG, and BSG was certainly its antithesis. The disparities between the two are even more evident when you realize Ron D. Moore (who cut his teeth on Deep Space Nine), was using TNG as the anti-blueprint for Battlestar. No mirror universes, no bumpy foreheads, no god-like powers, and no standard character archetypes (the cocky guy, the smart guy, the alien, the slut) were the commandments of the BSG Bible. I would say that his philosophy worked… until it didn’t. Or maybe until he lost faith in his own good book. Seems like BSG started to stray when it abandoned stories rooted in the human condition and the struggle for survival and started making everything about Space God and destiny and what not. You can argue that those aspects were always central to the narrative of BSG (because they were), but viewer like myself always hoped they would be a red herring and not the ACTUAL crux of the show.

COMMENTERS: Since you were already doing this before I made this post, what aspect of BSG did you find the MOST confusing. Just to balance things out, what did you love about BSG that wasn’t a common Sci-Fi trope.

And if you find panel three confusing, please check out the work of Bear McCreary. I want him to score my life.

~~Colors, backgrounds and post coming later tonight.~~ In other news: Kiddo has requested that “Daddy stop working so much” and spend some time with her. Going to 5 days a week and trying to get the book done at the same time was a stupid idea. I’ve been working 14-16 hour days, sleeping 5-6 hours then getting up and doing it all again. If you appreciate the increased output and you would like to help out, please consider making a donation. THANKS!

The original Battlestar Galactica series bible is Ron Moore’s rebuke to Star Trek

The Bovine Comedy

IMPORTANT HE BOOK 2 UPDATE: There are less than 25 Ultimate Fancy Editions of the book left and the files must be fully proofed and turned into the printer by Sunday 1/30/2011 or I will not have the book in time for my first conventions of the year. Once those last UFE’s are sold I will have covered 100% of the printing costs + enough to purchase shipping supplies, pay for shipping for all books (regular + UFE’s), and cover the costs of the prints, stickers and buttons for the UFE’s. Please help me make this thing a success. I am positive there are at least 25 of you Fancy Bastards out there that can help out.

BOOK 2 PROOFREADERS UPDATE: I received WAY MORE responses than I expected. I will select 3 of you (probably the ones with professional experience) and email you a PDF of the book (hopefully) before this weekend. THANKS!

True story: Josh once sold me a guitar for a Taco Bell taco. It was maybe the 3rd time I’d ever been to his apartment (circa 2001) and I was only there as a friend of a mutual friend. I showed up with my own dinner and revealed that the taco lady had given me a couple of extra tacos. Josh looked around his home, picked out the first thing that mattered less to him than the satisfaction of eating a taco at that exact moment (a crappy Jasmine acoustic guitar that was worth about $90) and offered it to me in trade. I probably would have just given it to him, but I distinctly remember him leading with “HERE! TAKE THIS GUITAR! YOU PLAY RIGHT? TAKE IT AND GIVE ME THAT TACO FOOD!” I kept that guitar until last year when one of machine heads broke and I decided to get rid of it via the Craig List.

Considering our friendship was essentially founded on “Meat Like Beef Substitute” served in a corn tortilla shell, I was sad to learn via Twitter that Josh IRL has lost his taste for The Bell. Something about it “making his stomach throw up into his intestines” is less appealing now than it was when we were younger men. I’m not sure a world where Josh hates Taco Bell is a world I want to live in.

They Call Me The Workin’ Man

IMPORTANT HE BOOK 2 UPDATE: There are less than 30 Ultimate Fancy Editions of the book left and the files must be fully proofed and turned into the printer by Sunday 1/30/2011 or I will not have the book in time for my first conventions of the year. Once those last UFE’s are sold I will have covered 100% of the printing costs + enough to purchase shipping supplies, pay for shipping for all books (regular + UFE’s), and cover the costs of the prints, stickers and buttons for the UFE’s. Please help me make this thing a success. I am positive there are at least 25 of you Fancy Bastards out there that can help out.

PROOFREADERS NEEDED:
UPDATE: WHOAH! I got WAY more responses than I needed already. Thanks!
I need 2 or 3 volunteers to proofread HE Book 2. You will need to have a background in English or copy editing(or some equivalent) and be able to turn the assignment around in 48 hours (24 would be preferable). You will be credited as an editor in the book. Please email [comics at hijinksensue dot com] if you are interested.

I’ve mentioned before that since HE doesn’t follow a narrative, I don’t see any need to focus on the characters’ personal lives, relationships, jobs, etc. I’ve also done my best to stay away from video game related content since The Internet has plenty and I have very little original thought to offer on the subject. Though I feel I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that Josh (the actual Josh in real life) is currently working on Duke Nukem Forever, and his company, Gearbox Software, just announced the release date for the (up until now almost entirely fictional) game. I hesitate to speak in absolutes, since it is all together possible that a planet will fall on their headquarters in the next couple of months thus delaying Duke‘s release another decade or so.

I’m not a gamer, so I’m not extremely concerned with playing the game. I’m more concerned with the greater pop culture implications of it actually being released. The history of DNF is just a dickshittingly insane story and the fact that one of best friends eventually became associated with it in real life is something I find astounding. It would be no more shocking if Tom Cruise publicly came out of the closet and Josh was the reason.

COMMENTERS: Is there any way fans will judge this game fairly considering many of them have been waiting a baker’s dozen years for it? Even if it is good, can it live up to expectations, or is the myth too big? Do you plan to buy it? If so, will it be just to prove that it actually exists?

My Fashion Sense Is Tingling

There is a new HE Podcast.
Download episode 77!

You can still order Ultimate Fancy Editions of HE Book 2 AND get your name in the book until I tell you otherwise. Could be a few more days, or longer. Not Sure Yet. There are about 30 left and selling them ALL is super important in order for me to afford the full print run without having to go into the red.

Coveralls and Corduroys is my combination Deathcab For Cutie/Devo cover band. Speaking of #w00tstock jokes, The regional hockey team fan pictured above is none other than my friend Stephen “Stepto” Toulouse. He tweeted the inspiration for this comic. He is also the chief banhammer wielder for X-Box Live, and the author of “A Microsoft Life,” a chronicle of his 15 years at a giant company run by nerds. He also told the story that inspired the BARMAGEDDONBECUE.

Regarding teenage superhero’s costumes and the suspension of disbelief: it isn’t like Peter Park has access to Edna freakin’ Mode from The Incredibles. He has to be his own seamstress, and I don’t think the local Hobby Lobby caries a 60/40 kevlar/carbon nanotube blend. Plus Aunt May probably has a really shitty sewing machine. The bobbin is always loose and the foot pedals hardly work. It would be much more likely that Peter would swing out his bedroom window wearing a patchwork get up made of an old afghan and a few doilies. At best maybe a Uncle Ben would have an old disco speed suit in the attic.

Even if he could produce this space-flubber suit, have you ever worn a latex mask for any length of time? It’s horrible. It’s like encasing your head in claustrophobia. One time at the mall I put on a full-on Michael Keaton Batman cowl and I nearly had a panic attack. I certainly was in NO MOOD to fight crime. I might have committed a few had the mask not completely blocked my peripheral vision.

COMMENTERS: What do you think of the new Spider-suit? What about the rumor that new Spidey will have mechanical webshooters? Feel free to comment on those or any of the other stories below.

Spider-Man News:

More Super Hero Movie Costume News: