[reddit-me]Hello, IE6. Whaaaat’s happening?
We have sort of a problem here.
Yeeeah. You apparently stopped rendering webpages correctly in 2001.
Mmm yeah. Ya see we’re rendering valid html correctly from now on… did you SEE the memo?
If you could just do that from now on that would be great.
And I’ll make sure you get another copy of that memo.
Alternate Title: Sittin’ In The Box O’ The Bay
[reddit-me]Michael Bay traveled to our time from a distant future where man is enslaved by sentient explosions. He also made Megan Fox wash his Ferrari while he filmed it. One can only assume she wasn’t the first actor to get in Bay’s good graces by indulging his is peculiar obsession. Honestly, if the only thing that gets you off is celebrities washing expensive cars there probably isn’t a lot of porn in that genre ready for your enjoyment. I can see why he would take it into his own hands (pun intended) to produce it on his own.
“Like this, Mr. Bay?”
“Yeah, just like that. You’re auditioning for the scene where Cappuccinotron, the Transformer with the stereotypically Italian accent, drives through some mud, then an explosion, then more mud then five more explosions and needs to be washed. Fine Italian transformers can only be washed by hand… in cutoffs…”
SPECIAL THING FOR SERENITY / FIREFLY FANS!!
My friend Mikey is parting with his beloved Serenity Prop Sword and you can totally buy it. It was actually used in the final battle scene between Capt. Mal and The Operative.
PS
Sorry for the lack of a comic on Friday. I was in a bit of a creative rut and didn’t want to half ass it.
[reddit-me]Also, known as “Wizard Withdrawal” and “Phantom Wand Syndrome.”
Now that I’m done with the whole Harry Potter series, I feel a little empty. Like I’ve learned everything there is no know and life poses no more challenges [not actually… I just really enjoyed the books]. I find myself wanting to engage strangers in Harry Potter related discourse, and make constant references to HP characters and events in normal conversation. “Who does this jackoff think he is? The Minister of fucking Magic? C’Mon!”
Die hard fans may disagree, but I think the HP mythos is crying for an expanded universe. I still desire to immerse myself in the wizarding world, and there’s no more magical waters in which to dip my dainty toes. Maybe the release of “The Half-Blood Prince” movie will liven my spirits. The early reviews all say it’s the best in the series.
If nothing else, having finished all 7 books I am better equipped to make veiled sexual references using the vernacular of the Potter-verse. Armed only with knowledge of the movies I might have said something like “I bet he wants to stick his bludger in her snitch, if ya’ know what I mean.” While humorous to the average muggle, that phrasing and word substitution is all wrong. You see “snitch” bares a striking resemblance in spelling to “snatch,” a crude euphemism for vagina. Saturated with Potter lore as I am now I realize, other than in name, a snitch doesn’t accurately convey the idea of an “opening” in which to place a phallus. Unless, you count Harry’s first golden snitch in which Dumbledore hid… well you get the point.
I’d probably be better off comparing, let’s say, an old woman’s (perhaps your mother’s) vagina to the Sorting Hat. Leathery, patched up and floppity.
Thanks to everyone who followed along with my live tweeting while reading (with my ears) the books. I got a lot of positive feedback and only a few “STOP! NO! SPOILERS! AHHH!” A lot of you commented about the long buried emotional scars I was stirring up with my tweets. I admit to getting a little misty on more than one occasion towards the end.
UPDATE: This comic was somehow turned into a shirt by space wizards with laser swords!
CHECK IT OUT IN THE STORE!
This idea has been stuck in my brain hole for a couple of months. I had to purge it lest I spend another night waking up in cold sweats screaming, “THE EWOKS! THEY ARE LIKE CARE BEARS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! I CAN TASTE INSANITY AND IT TASTES LIKE SUNNY D!”
So, enjoy if you can. Otherwise wait and there will be another comic in it’s place eventually.
Here’s some news about the new Jedi-Free “Star Wars” TV Show.
UPDATE: There’s a desktop based on this comic in The Vault now
Donate then Download Here
[reddit-me]“Yarrr! Tell Steve, it be me 15 minute break. Ye’ll be findin’ me in Davey Jones’ Break Room feastin’ on a Hot Pocket and a tankard o’ Mr. Pib.”
[There are a few new additions and updates to The Store. Check it out!]
So, The Pirate Bay was acquired by a “legitimate” company that plans to transform it into a “legitimate company.” I’m sure they’re banking on name recognition from all the media exposure and lawsuits to bring the honest non-eyepatch customers around. Remember how well that worked for Napster? [hint: not well]
YOUR COMMENT CHALLENGE: Assuming The Pirate Bay was a retail store (see the above comic for precident), give me some scenarios that might play in said store. How about bathroom signs that say “Employees must wash hooks before returning to work.” Or maybe OSHA guidelines demand all peglegs be made of spruce or maple.
