Infinite Martys In Infinite Combinations

I think about Back To The Future a lot. Like, more than a regular lot. A LOT a lot. I frequently watch the movies with my wife, and I frequently pause the movies for extended periods of time to go on rants about the various unchecked, universe ending paradoxes within the series and, let me tell you what, these rants are guaranteed panty melters… except the opposite of that. They’re… panty doublers? Panty reinforcers? Stone cold panty fortifiers? Anyway, about a week ago I posted a bunch of those “a lot of thoughts about Back To The Future” on Twitter, then my friend Wil dared me to make a comic about them (as he is wont to do) and I obliged.

Please check out my Patreon and throw in a a few bucks a month so that making comics can continue to be my job.

If that doesn’t suit you, how about buying yourself a nice shirt or print from my store. That’s almost entirely self-serving when you think about it. Getting yourself a present, that is. You deserve it. You did a good thing one time, and now you need a reward lest you forget why you do good deeds at all and descend into your own personal moral chaos spectrum.

I am happy to answer any questions about Back To The Future, the Infinite Martys Paradox, the 1885/1955/1985/2015 Temporal Nexus or Why Doc Brown doesn’t understand time travel or causality at all that you may decide to post in the comments. Rest assured that my answers will be 100% canon, truthful and definitive.

No Child Left Alive

Here’s another redraw/recolor of one of my FANEURYSM strips. The original is here.

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“Now, I know you’re a little apprehensive about sending your child to Hogwarts, but let me assure that our mortality rate is well within the guidelines for other reputable wizarding schools in Europe and Asia. Mortality rate… yes. The likelihood that your child will die or otherwise be rendered irreparably cursed, hexed or transfigured while in our care. What IS that rate? Like I said, it’s well within the standard… well, it’s… it’s around 30% NOW I know that seems high, but I promise you it is well within… yes, of course. No, I understand. It’s just with every single one of us, teacher and student, adult and child, carrying the power to kill with but a flick of the wrist and a a couple of odd words one has to expect a certain level of… no, I wouldn’t use that word. Well, because MURDER is a very particular word and I believe what happens here is more akin to… well OF COURSE you would bring HIM up. Yes, he was VERY murdered. Yes, horrifically so. Yes, all of the other students saw it. Well, because it happened right here in the great hall during lunch. I don’t know, I suppose he wanted to make an example of the little… yes, I’ve heard that about American wizarding schools as well. Honestly I don’t see how they could be teaching proper magic if THAT many children survive each year.”

If you like Harry Potter, you might like the podcast I do with my 8 year old daughter called Potter And Daughter. We recap each book about 6 chapters at a time as she reads through the series. Right now we’re in the middle of book five. It’s cute.

 

The “Just Us” Club

I have completely retooled my Patreon rewards and goals! Become a Patron now and you can help me release more eBooks of my comics and sketches, bonus monthly Patron-Only comics, an album of cover songs, a LOST EPISODE OF THE HIJINKS ENSUE PODCAST, and MORE! Read the details HERE or just check out my Patreon HERE.

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Here’s another of my recolored/rewritten FANEURYSM comics. You can see the original here. If you can spot all the differences, you win a punched out and devoured heart! Whose heart? Maybe yours! Are you a whale?! How did you get Internet in the ocean?! Oh, you bit into an intercontinental, underwater data cable? And now you can download the entire Internet straight into your whale brain? And even though you get decent download speeds depending on the tides, the upload is kind of slow? That’s a bummer! Still, pretty good for a whale, right?

 

Missing Movie Scenes: The Fifth Element

I am SUPER EXICTED to announce that I have completely retooled my Patreon rewards and goals! Become a Patron now and you can help me release eBooks of my comics and sketches, bonus Patron-Only comics, an album of cover songs, a LOST EPISODE OF THE HIJINKS ENSUE PODCAST, and MORE! Read the details HERE or just check out my Patreon HERE.

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If you’ve never seen The Fifth Element, then this comic doesn’t make any sense. A) Fix your problem and treat yourself to one of the most unique and definitive films of the Sci-Fi/action drama and 2) Come back and read this comic again so we can all be on the same page.

Corbin Dallas is initially surprised when The Diva tells him to pull a bunch of Universe saving rocks out of her guts, but there’s too much else going on at the time for him to stop and wonder just how they got in there in the first place. He’s pretty gung-ho about his mission, so the second he realizes what she’s getting at, he’s two elbows deep in her gooey blueness, ripping out kilos of magical sandstone like there’s no tomorrow (because it is very likely there will not be one. A tomorrow that is.).

I see the stones getting in there one of a few different ways. There’s the method illustrated above, where The Diva Plava Laguna eats them like a bowl full of Grapenuts (though I expect they’d be slightly easier to actually get down than Grapenuts). Then there’s my second theory, where upon she’s running to the gate, just about to miss her space plane to Floston Paradise, she tosses her bag up on the scale and… and… FUCK! 52lbs! Her carry-on is already packed to the brim with head-tendril moisturizing jelly, so there’s only one option. She has to HOMF them down, right then and there. The slight variation to this theory involves a Space TSA agent telling her, “Can’t you read? No firearms, no liquids over 4 ounces and NO MAGIC STONES. You’re going to have to finish those here, if you want to go through security.” I call this the “forgot I had a bottle of water in my backpack” theory.

Maybe The Diva’s species are like crocodiles, and they already swallow stones to aid in digestion. Or maybe they’re like those elephants that eat river clay to gain much needed minerals that aren’t found in their natural diet. Or maybe The Diva is just a dirty ol’ rock eatin’ nasty freak.

Think Only Tree

Look at these t-shirts I made for you! Look at them, then complete the necessary steps to own them! There’s even one of the very comic on THIS PAGE!

HijiNKS ENSUE Store t-shirts
Here’s another resurrected and recolored FANEURYSM comic. As I explained here, there are a few FANEURYSM comics that I don’t want to allow to slip into the void of the Internet’s hazy memory, and that fit in nicely with the aesthetic of Sharkzpode. You can see the original, much smaller, and much more orange version HERE.