2015-06-25-sharksplode-unassembled

Unassembled

2015-06-25-sharksplode-unassembled

Here’s another resurrected and recolored FANEURYSM comic. As I explained here, there are a few FANEURYSM comics that I don’t want to allow to slip into the void of the Internet’s hazy memory, and that fit in nicely with the aesthetic of Sharkzpode. You can see the original version HERE.

Of course all of this changes in Captain America: Civil War in which EACH AND EVERY character in the Marvel Cinematic Universe will be making an appearance. If the movie is two and a half hours, I bet there’s 40 minutes just taking role call.

Sharksploders: Which lesser know Marvel character deserves their own solo movie and why?

2015-06-22-sharksplode-ripping-my-insides-out

Ripping My Insides Out

2015-06-22-sharksplode-ripping-my-insides-out

Pixar are at their best when they’re reminding you of the frailty of the human condition. Sometimes I think they’re bold for having the guts to tell honest and often deeply sad stories in a way that has one level of significance to a child and a whole different level to an adult. Other times I think they are fucking our emotions for money.

I saw Inside Out this weekend. Ironically enough, the film is about this very subject. It’s about the idea that you can’t really be happy if you never allow yourself to be sad. It’s also about Pixar’s two other favorite ideas: Your kids are going to grow up and leave you, and then you’re going to die. Whether they’re tugging on our collective heart strings to bilk us out of billions or not, they ARE presenting very adult ideas in a format that is typically reserved for children’s entertainment and they’re doing it extremely well. This isn’t to say they’re exposing children to concepts that should be hidden from them. Far from it. I think it’s good for children to have realistic expectations of loss, and death and the concept of people and the world around them constantly changing. They do… it’s just that they SEEM to lean on this mechanism A LOT. I don’t even know if I want them to stop. I honestly don’t know if I thought Inside Out was a great movie. I enjoyed it, but I’d have to see it again (and like ALL Pixar movies, I will be seeing it again and again and again) before I know how I really feel about it. That’s ALSO a theme of the movie. Feeling more than one way about something, that is. This was a new concept to my Kiddo. For those that have seen the movie already, I explained to Kiddo that she’s probably still in the “single color memories” stage of her life, and she had a few more years before the “colors started to swirl.”

SHARKSPLODERS: Rank the Pixar films using any criteria you like. Entertainment value, cultural significance, number of times you’ve seen them, etc.

2015-06-16-sharksplode-binder-clippy

INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY

2015-06-16-sharksplode-binder-clippy

Joel and Ethan Cohen? More like Joel and Ethan Goin’… To Put Me To Sleep! FROM BOREDOM! WITH ALL THEIR SMART WORDS! AM I RIGHT!? LADIES?! FELLAS?!

[It’s secretly June 18, 2015, and I am back from a short vacation with my family. We went to a water park and also a cave. Both were wet. Also I nearly sliced off my left thumb the day we left, so doing… things, anything really has been pretty difficult. I’ve never seen that much of my own blood and/or finger meats. It was an ordeal to say the least. Getting caught up on comics for this week now that I have mostly regained use of my thumb and have relocated to my home where there is reliable comic-making technology and Internet service.]

SHARKSPLODERS: What movie dialog cliches are you sick of hearing? They can also be dialog+action cliches like, “I’m not going, there’s no way you can get me on that plane, I’ll never go!” *cut to that dude totally on the plane.

2015-06-11-sharksplode-how-to-find-your-star-wars-name

How To Find Your Star Wars Name

2015-06-11-sharksplode-how-to-find-your-star-wars-name

Here’s another resurrected and recolored FANEURYSM comic. As I explained here, there are a few FANEURYSM comics that I don’t want to allow to slip into the void of the Internet’s hazy memory, and that fit in nicely with the aesthetic of Sharkzpode.

George Lucas is a hack, Star Wars is garbage, KILL YOUR IDOLS KILL YOUR IDOLS KILL YOUR IDOLS!!! I do gotta admit that new soccer-ball-with-a-head robot from the commercials is pretty dang cute.

Have you seen my store? NO!? GO THERE! SEE IT! GIVE IT YOUR MONEY AND IT WILL GIVE UNTO YOU SUCH TREASURES! OH SUCH TREASURES IT WILL GIVE!

Have you seen my wife’s geeky jewelry store, Science & Fiction? She’s got necklaces and earrings based on Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Star Wars, The Fibonacci Sequence, DNA, Pac-Man and lot’s more. CHECK. IT. OUT. 

2015-06-10-sharksplode-order-from-chaos-theory

Order From Chaos Theory

2015-06-10-sharksplode-order-from-chaos-theory

And due to John Hammond’s greatest innovation, the Skull-encased Remote Detonated Dinosaur Head Bomb, there was never a single problem at Jurassic Park. In fact, it hasn’t been closed a single day since it opened in 1993. There has only been one death on the island since the park’s inception. Unfortunately, on his first day of work, an I.T. worker named Dennis Nedry fell face first into a  6 foot tall mound of Triceratops turds and suffocated… on dinosaur poop. And when you think about it, that’s a pretty amazing way to die. I mean, he’s probably the first guy ever to die that way. Anywho, I’m sure he was great and we’re all super blah blah for his loss or whatever. Bottom line: Head Bombs keep everything running smooth.  Samuel L. Jackson even still has all his original arms.

Comics have been slow this week, because my friend Stepto* fell into a coma on Monday, and I haven’t really felt like being funny or creative since then.

His prognosis was not good, but last night (06/11) he started responding to voices. I am trying to cling onto that as a sign of hope and eventual recovery, but he is still very far from out of the woods. His family has incurred significant expenses for travel and lodging to be by his side, not to mention his medical bills. They have set up a crowd funding campaign to help alleviate that burden HERE. If you can spare anything for one of the kindest, most enthusiastic and genuine people I have ever had the privilege of calling my friend, please do so. If you would like to share any words of support with his friends or family, we are tweeting with the hashtag #ArmyOfSteptos.

stepto fundraiser

*Stepto was the original director for policy and enforcement (THE BANHAMMER) for Xbox Live, and now he works with a hacker advocacy group to strengthen the security of the Internet that you are on right now.