Thanksgravy: Full Sequence

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“I will suspend the GraVaVavy sphere in a quantum neutrino field until it can be safely entombed in a sheep’s stomach then placed in my chest in place of my human heart. I will have the power of 100 pilgrims and the wisdom of 1000 turkeys! I will be… THE OMEGARAVY MAN!” 

Thanksgravy comes but once a year, but if we hold the true Thanksgravy spirit in our hearts and our giblet encrusted arteries, we can keep its blessings with us all year ’round. I spent Second Thanksgravy (it’s like Elevensies, but later at night and with more booze) this year with Josh IRL, his husband Jeff and some of their family and friends. It was a wonderful evening. Jeff made Josh a pecan pie using the authentic Luby’s Cafeteria recipe. Luby’s: Where the aged and infirm come to gum their final meal! 

Have you ever seen a Cherpumple? GIS that nonsense. It’s like leafing through autopsy photos. You want to look away, but you can’t. Also you get really hungry and ashamed at the same time.

One does not simply Cherpumple into Mordor.

COMMENTERS: Share your Thanksgravy stories. Ever had a non-traditional Thanksgravy? Weird food? Weird location? Weird family? How would you perfect the Cherpumple? What else needs to be crammed in a cake with all those pies?

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44 Comments

    • I just lost an hour to Epic Meal Time. Thanks for introducing me to it, but goddamn those guys are gonna die soon – unless they eat nothing but salad between shows.

      Also, I have GOT to try candied bacon – it better be nice!

  1. Why is there such an obsession with combining sex with food? It's starting to get confusing now. I don't even know what someone means when they say that the turkey is moist.

    • "I don't even know what someone means when they say that the turkey is moist."

      It means you're an attentive cook/lover.

    • A girl, kinda friend of mine, once was talking about the link between how men eat and how they have sex. She say we have sex exatly the same way we eat. I dismissed the discussion when it slipped on how I'm lazy and selfish in the way I eat… è_è

      • So…I have sex by eating one item at a time? And the food can't touch? And I need lots of napkins?

        Pretty sure my OCD eating habits don't spill over into my sex life. Any volunteers to test?

  2. Every Thanksgiving at my house is nontraditional. We eat weird food like roasted beets, mushroom gravy, and my personal favorite, colcannon: Make mashed potatoes, then add lots of milk and chopped green onions, then add a bunch of cooked kale, some butter, salt, pepper, and a tiny bit of nutmeg. It's awesome.

    Then there's the Tofurky we make because my sister is vegetarian. It's essentially a spherical Oscar Meyer wiener machine-injected with a salty cake made from "wild rice." I do not like it, Sam I Am.

  3. I have mine in October. I prefer to be a holiday hipster and have it at obscure times, probably before you've even started thinking about it.

  4. Well there was the year that the few days before Thanksgiving everything went wrong one after the other,… poeple calling saying they could not come,…people inviting themselves,… freezer dying and turkey going bad [freezer was in the barn],..etc,… so day before Thanksgiving I took the Turkey and used it as ammunition for my tebuchet [yes I have a small trebucet I made,..its only 10 ft tall] then my Dad and I took the johnboat out and spent 24hrs on the water. Came home late that night and when rest of the family got here on Thanksgiving we had smoked mullet, fried mullet, Crab en Shalau, grouper fingers, some salad with crab meat mom made, oysters, boiled crab, baked Sheepshead [its a fish dont worry], Snapper fillet, etc,..yeah that was an interesting Thanksgiving.

    Then this year because I was working a Medieval Faire right before Thanksgiving I brought "the goop" one of my friends discovered when he mispacked his "lunch" at show to dinner,…its Haggis mixed with humis,..and its damn good,….

    • Sheepsheads as in those fish that make the horrible almost bleating sound and lose their scales all over the place? I've never really thought of eating those, I always thought they were considered "junk fish". How do they taste?

      • quite good,.. you basically remove the head [try to do this as soon as possible after catching it as they can be kind of bloody and this helps drain it], scale it [but do not skin it], then butterfly it open [ofcourse clean out all the entrails],..so you have just the meat,skin, and backbone. Place in a baking pan [skin side down] with olives, bay leave [and other spices to taste], and 2 cans chunky pureed tomatoes [or dep[ending on the pan size enough to cover the bottom of the pan and coem to the edge of the fish],..cover with aluminum foil and bake at around 375 until cooked [I dont have the recipe right here so I forget the time]. Once its cooked you should be able to pull the backbone out easily [though there is a small chance some bones may remain behind]. Its quite tasty as the meat falls apart easily and is not too fishy tasting [seems the skin helps adsorb most of the oils to lessen the fishy taste].

  5. Aww, I wanted to see Josh attempting to deep fry a frozen turkey and getting killed in the resultant explosion! There isn't enough Josh-Death lately.

    • Now that you mention it, there hasn't been much anybody-death in the strip lately. I did enjoy the days when the main characters would frequently kill each other, only to return whole and alive in the next strip, sort of like the old Warner Brothers cartoon, only with more blood splashed around. (Not that I don't still enjoy the strip, but there certainly hasn't been nearly as much blood, death, gore, and senseless violence lately.)

      • that has a lot to do with the fact that "panel 1, panel 2, violence" is an easy way to cop out of writing a good joke. I try to use it sparingly so it has effect. Like not cursing TOO much. Its a crutch and I want to be better than that.

  6. Luby's! My family must of stopped at 8 different Luby's on our Texas trip back in the 1980's. Yes it was full of seniors but we loved it because we had so many choices. Cafeteria style eating was new to us, and it was the first time I tasted real baked cheesecake.

  7. This was my best Thanksgiving. Within 10 minutes of waking up I had opened up a beer and hanging out with family. So it is now a tradition to start Thanksgiving off with a beer. I think I might try this for every holiday 😛

    Also, it might just be the amount of vodka involved but I really want to try Josh's cooking!

  8. Thanksgravy dinner? Not the same without my Aunt's strangely pale turkey gravy and olives (seriously, WTF) on the table.

    As for the Chermuple, this is how I would do it: Layer one would be a berry pie inside a limon cake. Layer 2 would be apple pie/spice cake. Layer 3 would be pecan inside a chocolate cake. To cover, I would make a rum brown sugar buttercream to cover.

  9. No insane deserts but I did make my turkey breast covered with bacon. Will be posting video evidence on my Facebook later this evening.

  10. i stuffed my turkey with 6 lbs of bacon this year and then glazed it in Dr. Pepper based BBQ sauwse, when i was done eating it my chest hurt and my family members were unconcious, then i ate a slice of apple pie topped in a slice of cranberry jelly

    it was like my tounge was orgasming

  11. And I hope that you had a happy Thanksgiving too! After showing my wife one too many comics, and the shirts I want, I was instructed not to buy them so close to Christmas. Which should make you a part of my holiday. Thanks for the laughs!

  12. Cherpumples are great, but they are for dessert (and euthanasia). For a real meal to come before such an item of profusely high caliber, you would need something of equal, if not greater, heart imploding caliber. I'm not talking about a turducken, for those are for the weak and fat. No, this is for true connoisseurs who would scour the globe to acquire the ingredients of this dish which would vanquish even the great appetence of Galactus himself. I refer to the mythical aviary's nightmare only ever given life by the twisted minds of the French that is, The Rôti Sans Pareil: "The Roast Without Equal". Include epic dramatic music here. http://urbandiner.ca/2010/08/12/roti-sans-pareil-

  13. Cherpumples are great, but they are for dessert (and euthanasia). For a real meal to come before such an item of profusely high caliber, you would need something of equal, if not greater, heart imploding caliber. I'm not talking about a turducken, for those are for the weak and fat. No, this is for true connoisseurs who would scour the globe to acquire the ingredients of this dish which would vanquish even the great appetence of Galactus himself. I refer to the mythical aviary's nightmare only ever given life by the twisted minds of the French that is, The Rôti Sans Pareil: "The Roast Without Equal". Include epic dramatic music here.

  14. It takes me about two days to eat a slice of a Cherpumple. It's either because the slice is really big or I just want to savor the thing.

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