Sokath, His Eyes Uncovered!

George R.R. You Done Yet? Shirt, A Game Of Thrones Parody Funny Shirt George R.R. Martin

New shirt at Sharksplode! George R. R. You Done Yet? It’s nearly winter! 

A helicopter crash? That’s it? That’s what Eli has been nonstop drank-facing about for weeks? Sounds like somebody can’t hold his horrific near death traumas. Oh, does baby need a toxic level of alcohol in his system to repress the memories of falling from the sky in a 10 ton exploding murder cage with multiple rotating death blades? Here, baby. Let me put that booze in an itty-witty bottle for baby. Baby. Dumb, stupid baby had himself a psychotic break. Dumb baby.

Things for you to know about, look at and do:

The first HE iBook/eBook type thing is nearly done. Just adding in the extras and writing up the intro. You can see the cover and get more info here.

The FB FB’s (Facebooked Fancy Bastards) seem to be enjoying the HE Fancy Bastard Facebook Group. Come join us for nerdy discussions without all that Internet meanness and pointless arguing.

I’ve been reposting all of the previously locked content from The HijiNKS ENSUE Vault over in my Tumblr under “The Vault Redux.”

Fans of The Experiment: My wife and I are embarking upon a second experiment. She is starting a photo restoration and photo retouching business. You can see her website HERE. Please feel free to pass her URL along to anyone you know that might need damaged photo repaircosmetic touch ups in photosremoving someone from a photoadding someone to a photocolor correcting a pictureblack and white / color effects or photo colorization, or just general Photoshop image manipulation.

COMMENTERS: The title for this comic comes from one of my favorite episodes of Star Trek: TNG called “Darmok” about a species that speaks only in colloquial metaphor based on knowledge of their shared history and mythology. Assume some great cataclysm befalls humanity and in 500 years we’re all speaking metaphorese based on geek pop culture. Please come up with some common phrases and their translation or usage. For example: “The Dude, his rug pissed on,” to convey a feeling of indignation or injustice. Or “Bill and Ted at the battle of the bands,” to convey a most triumphant, non-heinous moment of… triumph (meeeedly meeeedly squeeeedly reeewwwrrrr!). Bonus points if you can come up with an entire conversation without explaining it. 

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  1. 1) Munchkin, Platinum Dragon at the exit.
    2) Star Trek, the voyager years.
    3) Win98 rebooted, after BSOD…
    4) Wil Wheaton, his beer brewed!

  2. Rose at Canary Wharf.
    John, his blog deleted.
    Starbuck and Apollo in the boxing ring.
    Dean at the reservoir.
    Sansa in the Red Keep.

    Why can't I think of any that aren't depressing?! Those all mean the same thing!

    Michael Hogan and Donnelly Rhodes at craft services.

    George McFly in the parking lot.

  3. Okay, JoelBaby, I’m gonna do this. But I’m slow and have things to do, so it’s going to take a little while. I’ll get back to you.

    Awesome idea for a thread, though. This is why we love you.

  4. "Wheaton, his law broken"
    – Someone's being a dick.

    "Lucas, his effects redone"
    – Someone fiddling with something that's already achieved the desired result.

    "The Doctor, his companion gone"
    – A feeling of being totally alone.

    Vader and Kenobi at Mustafar.
    – An inevitable coming-to-blows of two (former) friends.

    Prometheus, its plot considered.
    – On reflection, something really doesn't make any sense.

    W00tstock, at Swedish American Music Hall
    – Something under-the-radar which you feel has the possibility of becoming awesome.

    Sagal's tweet at W00tstock 2.4
    – "Finish the f**king pirate song" (handy if you're at a Paul & Storm concert).

  5. The Phantom Menace, at the first teaser trailer.

    Optimus Prime, with "The Touch" playing.

    Optimus Prime, when Hot Rod helped him.

    Wash, he is a leaf on the wind.

  6. Apollo, All His Thrace Vanish– The feeling of utter disappointment when everything seemed to be working out. Or the constant fate of the average human being snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

  7. "Conan at 12:05"
    – getting royally screwed over by your bosses

    "Oatmeal and Carreon, they battle"
    – not lowering yourself to an asshole's level of debate

  8. I'm thinking of just making all of mine out of Doctor Who…

    The Doctor with a banana- Ready to party
    Rory, in the TARDIS- About to die again (example usage: I'm about to try the boss fight again, but I have a feeling I'm Rory, in the TARDIS)
    Slitheen, in a human suit- very gassy
    Amy, with her suitcase- waiting a long time
    Captain Jack, meeting a stranger- flirtatious
    Donna and the beetle- Something is wrong but you can't put your finger on it, or additionally, slightly paranoid
    The TARDIS in Idris- alive, but confused about it. Or additionally, feeling like a mad, bitey-lady. Personally, I'd use the second definition a lot…
    The Doctor at Demon's Run- I'll leave this one unexplained, it could mean about 5 different-yet-awesome things

  9. River Tam at the Maidenhead.
    Miranda after the Pax fell.
    Malcolm Reynolds, his aim to misbehave.
    Mal and the Operative in battle.
    The signal unstopped.
    The Operative, his eyes opened.

    Joss Whedon, his Avengers assembled.

  10. Good luck on your wife's future business endeavors. I hope she has a fairly thick skin and enough patience to deal with some of the a-holes and idiots out there. Maybe get her to read a couple of horror stories at "Clients From Hell".

  11. Frodo in the Shire before Gandolf.
    Drums in the deep.
    Skynet lives, the machines rise
    The sleeper awakens.
    Bruce Banner, growing angry.
    Alien queen and Ripley in her mech suit
    Sam and Frodo, at the White ship.

  12. The Pakled, their ships unmoving.

    Barclay, at the holodeck, his eyes covered.

    Quark, his business booming.

    Data, his emotion chip fused.

    (The Pakled one I threw in because "Make it go" is one of my most-used quotes, but the others relate to the current storyline.)

  13. Person 1: Heinlein, his later works.
    Person 2: Demoman exploding anger!
    Person 1: Mesmer, his eyes open. Teal, And He Built a Crooked House.
    Person 2: River of the Firefly!


    Person 1: This is crap
    Person 2: Screw you!
    Person 1: Calm down. It's just that everything you do is overly complicated and ultimately fails, and you blame everyone else for it.
    Person 2: You're crazy!

  14. Thanos and the Infinity Gauntlet for Death: A dude does something desperate just to get his crush’s attention.
    Hodor, Hodor Hodor Hodor: Hodor.

    And, a monologue!
    Starbuck, her steak needs cutting: Somebody is about to die.
    Joker, where he got his scars: You should run now.
    Liam Neeson, his daughter taken: Run away very fast.
    Hulk, as Loki monologues: FLEE!

  15. Friend 1: Nat 20's! My Data's cat what Picard is missing is James Cameron's Avatar, not Charlie Sheen's interview!
    Friend 2: Captioned cats, you @willw's followers TV episodes make it so! First in line at a Star Wars premier.

    Translation, in the style that Google-translate might produce.

    Friend 1: What good fortune! My orange hair is visually pleasing, not extremely weird and unpredictable.
    Friend 2: Lol, you large quantities of hours doing it! I had to wait a long time.

  16. A race that speaks only in cultural references…
    I have pondered them before but have come to the same conclusion as tonight.
    "Fapper when He realized Ceiling cat was watching!"
    They speak only in memes…

  17. Off genre here, but I'll give it a shot…

    Vash, last stool standing.
    Wolfwood, all smokes crooked
    Simon, smacked with a galaxy.
    Gene, without his pants.

  18. River Tam, upon slaying savage Reavers.
    Hit Girl, entering a fight.
    Faith, after a good slay.
    River Tam, facing the stars.

  19. On occasion I've pulled out "zizzybaluba" to indicate general wtf-ery in situations where I didn't want to say "fuck".

    Bonus points if you know where that is from.

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